Su Mu strutted through the bustling village square like a protagonist walking into his first tournament arc.
His smirk, equal parts arrogance and self-importance, practically screamed for everyone to fear him. It was a textbook example of overconfidence, straight out of every third-rate Xianxia webnovel Yang Kai had ever read on Earth.
Meanwhile, the two hired thugs beside him were even more predictable. Their performances were so incredibly hammy that Yang Kai half-expected them to pull out a script titled 'How to Fake a Poisoning 101'.
One man clutched his stomach, swaying back and forth as if he were on the verge of collapse, while the other alternated between exaggerated wailing and throwing furious glares toward Boss He.
Yang Kai inwardly sighed.
Seriously? These guys were straight out of a filler episode. Pale face? Check. Overly dramatic gestures? Check. Zero effort in maintaining internal consistency? Double check. At least commit to the method acting!
One of the men, pretending to grow impatient with Su Mu's theatrics, turned toward the High Heaven disciple and huffed. "You little brat, walking around in circles has made this uncle dizzy. Do you want to be the same?"
Su Mu only smirked, shaking his head. He stepped forward, deliberately placing himself right in front of the 'poisoned' man, and squinted at his face as though scrutinizing a rare alchemy ingredient. Then, with a self-satisfied nod, he loudly declared, "Your face is very pale. Looks like the poison you consumed isn't so simple."
The 'victim' groaned weakly before responding with righteous indignation. "Of course it's not! If it were a mere stomach ache, why would my brother and I be here instead of seeking a physician? No, we came because we want justice! We came to reveal this Boss He's black heart and his true nature! We only hope that no one else will have to suffer as we have."
The gathered villagers murmured in genuine concern, some already throwing wary glances toward the sweating Boss He.
Yang Kai, however, merely snorted.
He stepped forward, the air of a seasoned detective settling over him. In the overly dramatic tone of a true-crime podcaster unraveling an obvious scam, he announced his presence to the crowd.
"Alright, everyone, let's break this down like a proper investigation!" Yang Kai called out. "First, if these men were truly poisoned, their meridians would be clogged and their Yuan Qi flow would be unstable... you know, basic cultivation logic. But look at this guy's complexion!"
Yang Kai gestured mockingly toward the 'poisoned' man, whose supposedly sickly face had actually become quite flushed from all his exaggerated hopping around. "Look at him! He's blushing like he just binge-read Fifty Shades of Golden Core."
Most of the mortal villagers just blinked in sheer confusion at his bizarre choice of words, but a few of the more experienced cultivators ignored the weird phrasing and began nodding in realization at the logic.
Yang Kai grinned, pressing his advantage. "Translation... he's entirely faking it. This whole scam is about as subtle as a Dragon Ball Z fight in a romance novel."
Su Mu's smirk wavered ever so slightly.
"Oh, and Su Mu?" Yang Kai turned to the so-called righteous disciple with a deeply knowing look. "Nice try, but your dramatic reveal was straight out of the Handbook of Cliche Villain Exposures. Chapter three, page twelve... 'pretend to care about justice while secretly being the puppet master.'"
Su Mu's expression flickered, a brief moment of genuine alarm flashing across his face before he quickly smoothed his features back into his usual self-assured mask. But the two hired thugs? They weren't nearly as composed. They exchanged frantic glances, their fragile act visibly falling apart under the scrutiny.
"How dare you...!" Su Mu sputtered, finally breaking character.
Yang Kai held up a hand to silence him, smirking lazily. "Save it, dude. I've read enough webnovels in my past life to predict your exact next line. Let me guess... You've ruined my plans! I'll remember this, Yang Kai!
Then cue the dramatic exit where you swear vengeance. Am I right?"
The crowd of villagers erupted into laughter. Even Boss He, who didn't fully grasp half the weird references Yang Kai was making, chuckled nervously, vastly relieved to see the tide turning in his favor.
"As for you two..." Yang Kai turned toward the thugs, who were now visibly sweating. "Congratulations! You've just won the Worst Actors in a Fake Poisoning Subplot award. Your grand prize? A free trip to the village jail. Don't worry, the food is probably better than your acting."
One of the men opened his mouth to protest, but before he could even speak, Yang Kai smoothly stepped in front of Su Mu, completely cutting off the young master's attempt to sneak away.
"Ah, ah, ah, senior brother. You're the final boss of this side quest, no running allowed." Yang Kai grinned cheerfully before suddenly reaching directly into Su Mu's robes. He fished around for a second until he pulled out a small, heavy coin pouch. Holding it up for the entire village to see, he shook it mockingly. "And what do we have here? The payoff money! A classic 'frame the innocent merchant' trope. Villainy 101, folks."
The villagers collectively gasped, while Su Mu's face darkened with absolute fury.
"You... you're no ordinary sweeper. Who the hell are you?!" Su Mu hissed, his voice trembling barely above a whisper.
Yang Kai, fully basking in his moment of glory, struck an exaggerated pose. "Just a humble transmigrator with far too much time spent reading on RoyalRoad. Now... villains, meet karma. Karma, meet crowd-sourced justice."
He turned to the villagers, raising his fist dramatically. "Who's ready for a good old-fashioned beatdown montage? Remember... no face shots! We're civilized people here!"
The moment he finished speaking, the energy in the crowd shifted entirely.
The people, who had initially been hesitant and confused by his weird vocabulary, now fully understood the core of the situation. They weren't fools. Now that the trick had been blatantly exposed, their sympathy for the thugs completely vanished. In its place was pure indignation.
What kind of shameless scum would deliberately slander an honest merchant just to gain some fake reputation?
Outrage spread through the crowd like wildfire.
"You dare frame Boss He?" someone shouted.
"What absolute scum!"
"They deserve a harsh lesson!"
Su Mu's eyes darted around in panic, realizing that the mood had completely turned against him. He stepped back cautiously before suddenly shouting, "Friends, fellow shopkeepers, listen... let me explain!"
But instead of support, what Su Mu got was Boss He stepping forward with an incredibly grim expression. The rice shop's workers followed closely behind their boss, their rough hands gripping empty, heavy canvas rice sacks.
Boss He had been utterly humiliated and nearly driven to bankruptcy by these men just moments ago. Now? He certainly wasn't about to let them off easily.
Seeing the normally peaceful shopkeeper make a move, the rest of the angry crowd couldn't just stand by. More and more people surged forward, cracking their knuckles.
Previously, the two hired thugs weren't too worried about a bunch of mortals. But as they watched the sheer sea of furious, mob-mentality villagers descend upon them, their faces paled.
"Don't hit the face!" one of them yelped as he threw his hands up and curled into a tight ball.
Su Mu, seeing absolutely no other choice, turned and tried to make a break for the alleyway. But Yang Kai, ever the self-aware protagonist, simply extended his foot.
Thud!
Su Mu tripped and landed completely flat on his face, eating a mouthful of dirt.
"Oops," Yang Kai said with a highly innocent shrug. "Guess I should've warned you about that plot twist."
------xXx---------
As the two thugs were brutally restrained and beaten with rice sacks, the villagers cheered, patting Yang Kai on the back and loudly singing his praises.
And Yang Kai? He merely sighed to himself.
It had all been an elaborate act. A grand, staged performance of 'The Righteous Hero Uncovering Evil' just so Su Mu could gain some local favor and play the hero. If Yang Kai hadn't randomly caught them conspiring together earlier in the alley, even he might've been fooled for a second.
But in the end, it didn't matter. The absolute truth had been exposed, and Boss He's hard-earned reputation had been successfully restored.
As Su Mu dragged himself up from the dirt, nursing a bruised nose and a thoroughly bruised ego, he glared venomously at the sweeper.
"You've ruined my plans! I'll remember this, Yang Kai!" Su Mu spat, delivering his required villain line before fleeing the scene.
Yang Kai just smirked and dusted off his hands.
"As I said. Right on cue."