Chapter 32
"Dad…"
The sleep left Rajveer almost instantly.
Druve had said only one word, but something in the way it left him was enough. His son was not someone who reached for people when he was shaken. Even with his family, Druve kept the deepest parts of himself behind a distance they had long ago learned to respect. There was only one person before whom those walls had never really existed.
Tonight, that single word carried enough uncertainty for Rajveer to understand why he had called.
"You figured it out."
Druve's fingers tightened around the phone.
"I didn't think you'd figure it out this early."
Druve said nothing.
His eyes dropped to Riya asleep against his chest. She was still holding his shirt, her body settled within his arms after the terror that had consumed her only minutes ago.
His father hadn't asked what happened.
He already knew.
Druve's lips parted.
"Riya…"
The name barely came out.
His heartbeat pounded painfully beneath his ribs. The possibility had already formed in his mind, but saying it aloud felt like crossing a line he couldn't return from.
"She…"
His voice caught.
Druve swallowed and tried again, but even now he couldn't bring himself to complete it.
"Is she…?"
Rajveer closed his eyes.
"Yes."
The phone slipped from Druve's hand.
It struck the edge of the mattress, fell to the floor and disconnected.
Druve didn't hear it.
He remained exactly where he was, his arm still around Riya, his fingers rigid against her back. His lips were slightly parted, but the breath he tried to draw wouldn't fill his lungs.
For seven years, Druve had waited for Sruthi to come back to him.
He had believed she needed time. She had left hurt and angry, and Druve had forced himself to respect the distance she had put between them. However badly he wanted to go after her, however unbearable her absence became, he had held himself back with the same thought.
She needed time.
One day the hurt would ease. One day she would forgive him. And when she was ready, she would come back to him.
Druve had been willing to wait for that day.
He had waited seven years.
His fingers tightened against Riya's back.
The pressure in his chest grew until swallowing became painful.
Why had he waited?
His eyes filled.
Why had he decided Sruthi needed time when he should have gone after her?
He should have found her. He should have stood in front of her and begged her to hear him. If she refused, he should have gone back again. She could have shouted at him, pushed him away, hated him for what she believed he had done. She didn't have to forgive him.
He should have still been there.
A tear rolled down Druve's cheek.
His breathing broke.
"I should've come for you…"
His voice cracked so badly that the words barely came out.
His arm tightened around Riya.
"I should've found you."
Another tear fell.
"Why did I wait?"
Druve's face slowly crumpled.
"Why the hell did I wait, Sruthi?"
The first sob tore through him.
He dragged Riya against his chest, one hand gripping the back of her head as his body bent around hers. He tried to breathe, but his chest heaved and another sob escaped before he could control it.
"I thought you'd come back…"
His fingers clenched in her hair.
"I thought you needed time."
Tears ran freely down his face now.
"I thought you'd forgive me and come back to me."
His mouth opened and a cry tore from his throat.
For seven years, that had been enough.
No matter how much he missed her, there had always been the thought of Sruthi somewhere ahead of him. He didn't know when she would return. He didn't know how long she would remain angry. He had only believed that one day she would be ready.
And he had allowed himself to wait for that day.
Now the patience he had forced on himself for her sake felt unbearable.
"I should've gone after you."
His voice shook violently.
"You could've thrown me out. You could've refused to even look at me."
Druve's breath broke into another sob.
"I should've come anyway."
His arms locked around Riya.
"I should've been there."
The words came louder.
"I SHOULD'VE BEEN THERE!"
The cry tore through the room.
Druve's shoulders shook violently as he pressed his face into Riya's hair. There was nothing restrained about his grief anymore. His mouth opened with every broken breath, tears soaking into her hair while his arms remained wrapped around her with almost desperate force.
He had thought he was giving Sruthi what she needed.
Now all he could think about was everything he should have done instead.
He should have searched until he stood in front of her. He should have begged her to listen to him once. And if she still wanted nothing from him afterward, he should have stayed far enough away to respect that but close enough to know she was safe.
She could have remained angry with him.
She could have hated him.
He could have lived with that.
Anything would have been better than this.
Druve's throat tightened until another sound broke from him.
"I didn't need you to forgive me…"
His voice was almost unrecognisable beneath the tears.
"You could've hated me for the rest of your life."
His fingers trembled at the back of her head.
"I should've still been there."
Another sob tore through him.
Druve clutched her tighter.
"I thought you'd come back."
His voice dropped, and somehow the quieter admission hurt more.
"I really thought you'd come back to me, Sruthi."
His face crumpled completely.
Seven years of that belief came crashing through him at once. Every day he had endured without her because he believed it was one day closer to the moment she would return. Every time he had wanted to go after her and stopped himself because he thought she wasn't ready. Every year that passed had hurt, but he had accepted the pain because somewhere at the end of it, there was supposed to be Sruthi.
His Sruthi.
Druve squeezed his eyes shut.
His mouth opened, but for several seconds nothing came except broken breaths.
Then the thought he had been unable to let himself touch finally forced its way through.
"What was I doing…?"
His voice shattered.
His fingers clenched around Riya.
"What was I doing when you died, Sruthi?"
The word left his mouth.
Died.
Druve broke.
A raw cry tore out of him as his entire body folded around Riya. His hand gripped the back of her head, the other arm crushing her against his chest while tears poured down his face.
"I wasn't there…"
His voice disappeared beneath a sob.
He shook his head against her hair.
"I wasn't there with you."
Another cry broke from him.
"I should've been there!"
His chest heaved violently.
"I should've been with you!"
Druve cried with his mouth open against her hair, no longer capable of containing the sounds tearing from him. His entire body shook beneath the force of it.
Sruthi was the one person he had never learned to love from a distance.
Yet that was exactly what he had forced himself to do for seven years.
And when it mattered—
He hadn't been beside her.
Druve clutched Riya harder.
"I should've found you…"
His voice cracked.
"I should never have let you stay away that long."
The words dissolved into another sob.
He couldn't give himself the comfort of saying he hadn't known. He couldn't tell himself that he had believed he was doing what Sruthi wanted.
None of it eased the crushing guilt in his chest.
He had loved her.
She had been everything to him.
He should have reached her.
That was all his heart could understand.
Druve continued crying until his throat burned, his arms aching from the force with which he held Riya. Every time his breathing seemed to settle, another thought tore through him and his chest shook again.
"I waited for you…"
His voice was hoarse.
"I kept waiting for you to come back."
His fingers tightened in her hair.
"I thought I had time."
Druve's mouth trembled.
The tears came harder again.
"I thought I had time, Sruthi…"
His voice broke completely.
For several moments he could do nothing but cry.
Then, exhausted beneath the force of it, his face remained buried against her hair as the question that had been sitting somewhere beneath everything else finally escaped.
"What did you go through…?"
His voice was barely there.
Druve's breathing faltered.
And suddenly he heard her.
Druve.
His body went rigid.
The sound came back with painful clarity.
Riya's frightened voice from only minutes earlier.
The way she had struggled in his arms. The panic that had taken over her. Her fingers pulling desperately at her wrist, her body recoiling, the fear in her face while she fought something he couldn't see.
She had called his name.
And she had said Sruthi.
Druve's breath stopped.
His hand began trembling against the back of her head.
"Did you call for me like that…?"
The question came out broken.
His face crumpled again.
"Did you call me, Sruthi?"
A sob tore through his chest.
His arms tightened around her.
"I wasn't there."
Druve pressed his face harder into her hair.
"I wasn't there to hear you."
His voice rose beneath another broken breath.
"Did you get nightmares like this before?"
His fingers clenched.
"Did you wake up scared and call for me?"
The questions were no longer coming from a mind trying to understand. They were simply spilling out of the pain of remembering her voice.
"Why didn't I reach you?"
His mouth opened and another cry tore out.
"Why wasn't I there with you?"
His whole body shook again.
"If you called me…"
Druve's voice failed.
He dragged in a broken breath.
"I would've come, Sruthi."
Tears streamed down his face.
"You know I would've come."
His hand tightened around her.
"If I had heard you once…"
The rest disappeared beneath another sob.
"I would've come."
Riya's eyes slowly opened.
Fear was still lodged somewhere inside her.
For a few seconds the room was hazy. Her chest felt tight, her body still carrying the frightening heaviness of whatever she had been trapped inside. The images themselves were already slipping away before she could hold onto them.
Then she felt Druve shaking.
Her eyes opened fully.
His arms were wrapped tightly around her. His face was buried against her, his breath breaking against her hair as he cried.
Riya stared at him.
Something inside her chest hurt.
The fear she had woken with disappeared beneath it.
Her hand moved before another thought could form.
Her fingers slipped gently into his hair.
"Druve…"
He didn't hear her.
"I should've found you…"
His voice cracked against her.
Another sob shook through him.
Riya's eyes immediately filled.
Her arm went around him.
"Hey…"
Her fingers moved slowly through his hair, stroking him.
Druve's grip tightened.
Riya didn't pull away.
She moved closer.
"Shh…"
Her palm travelled over his back, rubbing gently as his body shook against hers.
"Don't cry…"
There was no hesitation in the tenderness of her touch. She didn't wonder why she was holding him. She didn't question the desperation in his arms or why his pain was hurting her enough to bring tears to her own eyes.
She simply wanted him to stop hurting.
Druve cried harder.
Riya wrapped both arms around him.
"Druve…"
Her cheek rested against his head.
"I'm here."
His body went rigid for barely a second.
Then his arms crushed her against him.
A broken cry tore from his chest.
Riya held him tighter.
"I'm here…"
Her fingers continued moving through his hair.
Druve's face remained buried against her as his breathing broke beneath another sob.
"I wasn't there…"
Riya's brows tightened.
She didn't understand.
Her hand moved from his hair to the side of his face, but Druve wouldn't lift his head.
"I wasn't there when you needed me…"
His voice shattered.
Riya's heart clenched.
She drew him closer, her palm returning to the back of his head.
"It's okay…"
Druve shook his head against her.
"No…"
Another sob escaped him.
Riya didn't argue.
She didn't ask him what wasn't okay.
She simply held him.
Her fingers stroked his hair again and again, slow and gentle, while her other hand rubbed his back.
When his body shook, she tightened her arms.
When another cry escaped him, she held his head closer against herself.
When his fingers dug into her as though he was terrified she might disappear, Riya allowed him to hold her as tightly as he needed.
"Druve…"
His name left her softly.
She moved her face enough to look at him.
Druve's eyes were closed, his face wet with tears. His breathing was ragged, his expression twisted beneath a pain Riya couldn't understand.
Her hand rose immediately.
She wiped the tears from his cheek with her thumb.
Another tear replaced them.
Riya wiped that one too.
"Don't…"
Her own voice trembled.
"Please don't cry."
Druve opened his eyes.
Riya was looking at him.
Her own eyes were still wet from the nightmare. Fear hadn't completely left her face, and she was still breathing a little unevenly.
But none of it seemed to matter to her.
Her palm remained against his cheek.
Druve stared at her.
For one unbearable second, he couldn't breathe.
Then his face crumpled again.
He pulled her back against him.
Riya's arms went around him immediately.
There was no surprise in the movement, no resistance. She simply gathered him against herself, one hand returning to his hair while the other held him around the back.
"Okay…"
Her voice was soft against him.
"I'm here."
Druve cried into her shoulder.
Riya closed her eyes and held him.
Her fingers moved slowly through his hair, occasionally pressing gently against his head as though trying to soothe something she couldn't see. When his breathing became too uneven, her palm moved over his back. When he tightened his arms, she pressed closer.
She didn't think about herself.
She didn't think about the nightmare.
She didn't think about why Druve was calling her Sruthi or why holding him like this felt so instinctive.
None of those thoughts came.
There was only the ache in her chest every time another sob escaped him.
She wanted it to stop.
She wanted him to be all right.
"Shh…"
Her fingers stroked his hair.
"I'm here."
Druve's hand clenched against her back.
"I thought you'd come back…"
The words came brokenly against her shoulder.
Riya's hand paused for the smallest moment before continuing through his hair.
Druve cried harder.
"I waited…"
His voice cracked.
"I waited for you, Sruthi…"
Riya didn't understand the words.
But the pain in his voice was enough.
Her arms tightened around him.
She turned her face slightly, her cheek pressing against his hair as she held him closer.
"I'm here, Druve."
His breath caught.
Riya's palm moved gently over the back of his head.
"I'm right here."
Something about those words tore through him.
Druve clung to her, another sob shaking his body as he buried his face deeper against her.
Riya let him.
She held him through every broken breath, wiped his tears whenever he lifted his face enough for her to reach them, stroked his hair when he buried himself against her again and allowed his arms to remain locked around her as though releasing her was impossible.
The fear from her nightmare still lingered somewhere beyond the edges of her awareness.
But she never reached for it.
Every time Druve shook in her arms, her hold tightened instinctively.
Every time he cried, her heart hurt with him.
And every time he pulled her closer, Riya simply held him back.