Ren towered over the corpse, dagger hanging loose at his side. Nocstella's blood ran down his hand, dripping from his fingertips to the ground below.
"I killed her," He whispered aloud. "Is...this it? Is it all over now?"
But even with Nocstella gone, he felt no relief.
Why would he?
Relief implied burden, and burden implied guilt.
And he had no guilt to give her. Nocstella's hands were caked in bloodied manipulation.
He stepped closer to Nocstella's corpse, crouching low to look at her lifeless face.
"Is that all it takes…for a god's life to end here?" He looked down at his hand, pale and unscathed. She was gone, yet he remained. "Then...why do I persist, when even a god can die? Why am I spared from the finality of death? Why me?"
His hand tightened unconsciously around the dagger.
"If death is the only escape from this hell, why can't I reach it? Why am I denied an end? Am I cursed? Is it divine punishment? Oh, the questions...are coming back...My head...I-I can't..." Ren's breathing began to quicken, unable to regulate the tempo. "I…I can't…I can't think straight...It's too much…Too much…Everything…it's all too much!"
He dropped down on his knees, pressing his forehead into his palms.
"I can't make sense of this…" He shivered violently, sobs rattling through his timid frame, as he scraped his chest and arms against the rough stone. "I can't…Why me? Why me?!"
As his screech dulled into only tears, a high-pitched scream came from his side.
Ren's body stiffened immediately, the tears in his eyes pausing the instant he heard it.
He rose, eyes widened at the source of the sound.
"Eva?" Ren's chest constricted as he stumbled toward the sound. "What's wrong..."
Ren's own thoughts were overthrown by his worry for someone else's well-being.
Her voice cracked into shrieks as she began to thrash around violently, limbs flailing around as if her flesh sought to tear itself off from her body.
Ren sprinted over and dropped beside her, reaching out carefully.
"Eva, calm down. I'm here..." His voice was low but urgent. "It's me, Ren. I've got you."
Her hands snapped toward his face as he tried to steady her, scratching at his cheekbone.
"Breathe..." Ren pleaded, firmly pushing her hands down to the ground. "It's okay..."
Slowly, her panic receded, erratic movements gradually diminishing as she realized his grip was immovable. Her fingers relaxed from his grip, and her shoulders sagged in exhaustion.
Ren exhaled, wiping the blood from his cheek with the back of his hand. He stayed on the floor beside her, one hand resting on his knee, and the other hovered near hers.
He wouldn't allow this world to hurt her while she was in a state like this.
Ren kept his eyes on her, noticing the smallest movements: the slight twitch of her fingers, the faint twitching of her lips, the soft rise and fall of her shoulders.
Each micro-movement gave him a tiny bit of hope that everything could be okay.
"She's here. She's still here. I can hold onto this. I will..."
Minutes—or perhaps hours—passed in silence.
Until Eva gracefully lifted herself into a seated position, knees drawn close to her chest. Her eyes remained closed, a thin line of dark lashes against pale skin. But it was her soft voice that caught his attention.
"Are you...Ren?"
Ren lifted his head slowly, his damp hair clinging to his face as he met Eva with trembling eyes. The sound of his name questioned in her voice struck him deep.
"Where?" Eva looked around, confused. "Where are we?"
It came to Ren. So this was it. The price paid in this cruel world.
"You don't remember me?" Ren asked softly.
"I do...It's just a bit blurry?"
To come back was to lose something.
He had known this truth, but hearing it—seeing it unravel inside her.
The Sanctum—all they had endured within these walls, the weight of choices, the pain they endured—was gone from her memory, completely forgotten. He didn't know how much she remembered between them, but she remembered who he was.
And for now, that was enough for Ren.
But if she died again, what more would be taken?
He forced his face to remain calm, though his mind was brewing with crude thoughts.
"This place...Do you remember it?" Ren clenched his jaw, willing his voice not to break.
Eva shook her head, her expression uncertain.
"The last I remember…it wasn't here. It was…outside the chapel, we stood on the stairs. You left and...after that, it…I can't remember." She paused for a moment, regaining her thoughts. "It happened again, didn't it? I've died...and now another piece of me is gone..."
Ren exhaled slowly. He wanted to tell her everything—every single terror that they faced in this sanctum—but he could see the weight it would lay upon her now.
"No, not yet..." He thought. "She doesn't need this right now. Let her have this moment. The rest…yeah, the rest can stay buried for now."
She reached out, delicate fingers brushing over the mark. "Ren…are you—are you okay?"
"I'm fine..." Ren said through a forced smile. "Really, everything's fine..."
Eva withdrew her hand slowly, letting it hover for a moment before resting back in her lap.
"You're hiding it well, but I can sense it..." Eva thought to herself. "I can't tell exactly what happened here. But I feel...you've gone through so much."
She looked over to him.
"Thank you…for being here…for staying by my side."
Slowly, Ren rose to his feet with a genuine smile on his face.
He extended his hand toward her, palm open and steady. "Come on...Let me help you."
Eva's fingers hesitated a moment before intertwining with his. She rose with his support, her small frame leaning slightly against him as she steadied herself. Ren felt her reliance on him.
They stood together in the ruined sanctum.
"Now, umm..." Ren tilted his head upward. "How do we get out of here?"