"Screwed it up... I'm such a lousy agent," Coulson muttered with a weak, bitter laugh.
"You really are," came a voice from nearby.
Ethan stepped into view, hands in his pockets, a calm look on his face.
His long white coat fluttered slightly with each step.
"I even used that prototype on you. Thought it might give your genes a little push. But here we are. Guess near-death didn't activate you the way I hoped."
Coulson coughed, barely holding on. "Ethan… Loki went that way."
He motioned feebly toward the exit. Ethan didn't even glance.
"I know. I let him."
Ethan crouched beside Coulson, his tone unreadable.
"I got here right as Loki was leaving. I could've stopped him. Easily. But I didn't."
Coulson stared at him, confused and fading.
"It's time someone opened the door," Ethan said, more to himself than to Coulson. "Thor's arrival wasn't just an event—it was a signal. We're heading into a new age, whether we want to or not. An age of gods, aliens, and war."
He stood up and stared into the distance.
Fury knows it. Charles knows it. Even Erik knows it. Earth won't be a backwater for long. And when war comes, better it's started by someone like Loki than monsters like Ronan, Mephisto… or Thanos. Loki's dangerous, sure. But he's nothing compared to what's coming.
He looked back at Coulson.
"Better to bleed now and learn than be wiped out later."
Coulson gave him a faint smile. "Thanks, Ethan."
His voice was barely more than a whisper. "Guess I always counted on you to bail me out. But this time… I think I'm finally clocking out."
Seeing Coulson's weak smile—the kind of smile that screamed, "Guess I owe you one in the next life"—Ethan couldn't help but chuckle.
"You're dying without my say-so? That's cute. Too bad I still need you." He knelt down beside Coulson and pulled a small vial of glowing blue liquid from a pouch attached to his belt.
Without wasting time, Ethan opened Coulson's mouth and dropped the liquid in.
Coulson immediately started coughing, chest hitching as the strange substance hit his system. "Agh—! What the hell was that?!"
As he coughed, the gaping wound in his chest began to close. Muscle, skin, and blood vessels stitched themselves together like a tape rewinding.
Ethan raised an eyebrow. "Healing serum. Blood of Apocalypse. Pretty rare stuff."
"Mutant?" Coulson blinked, the realization hitting him.
His mind flashed back to the strange golden crystals and the smoky haze earlier. "Wait… what did you do to me?"
"You once told me that working with superheroes was so stressful it made your hair fall out, right? So, I fixed it. Turned you into one. You're welcome."
Coulson pushed himself to his feet, glancing at his now-healed chest. He wasn't angry—in fact, curiosity was already winning. "So I'm a mutant now? Huh… could be worse. Any clue what my powers are?"
Ethan crossed his arms. "Not mutant per se, more like a mutate. A foreign mutated DNA changed your DNA and mutated it, mutating you in the process. As for your powers, you tell me. Something was off when Loki tried mind-controlling you with the scepter. It didn't work, right?"
"Yeah… it was like the moment I grabbed it with my right hand, the influence just—stopped." Coulson scratched his chin, thinking. "Weird, right?"
Ethan didn't respond.
Instead, he grabbed Coulson's right hand.
The moment their skin touched, Ethan's brows furrowed. His powers weren't responding.
"Huh?" Ethan muttered, then clenched his jaw.
He pushed Coulson away with a burst of wind, sending him sliding across the floor and into the wall.
"What the hell, man?" Coulson grumbled, rubbing his shoulder.
"I get it now," Ethan said, watching him intently. "Your right hand... it nullifies supernatural abilities. That includes my abilities. You shut it down the moment I touched you."
Coulson blinked, then his eyes lit up. "Wait. So I'm basically a walking cancel button? I can shut down powers, spells, all of it?"
"In theory, yeah. But we'd need more tests."
"Still, that's insane! This changes everything. I've been fighting supernatural threats with a gun and sarcasm. Now? Now I'm immune to half their tricks."
But then he paused, frowning. "Hold on. If powers don't work on me, why did your wind blast toss me like a ragdoll?"
Ethan smirked. "Pretty sure it only works through direct contact. With your right hand specifically."
Coulson stared at his right hand like it had betrayed him. "Just my right hand? Seriously? That's it?"
He sighed, collapsed to the floor dramatically, and groaned. "What kind of one-handed superpower is this? I can't even punch people unless I'm sure it'll connect. What is this, a mutant party trick? Maybe I can use it to open jars. Or shake hands with evil sorcerers?"
"Think about it, even if your ability seems kind of lame right now, it might come in handy in ways we can't see yet," Ethan said, trying to cheer him up.
"Yeah? Like how? Is it gonna boost my luck or something? Maybe I'll finally pull a full set of SSR cards from Captain America's merch line?" Coulson asked, half-joking but with a flicker of real hope in his eyes.
Ethan gave him a look full of pity. "Yeah… not happening. I'm pretty sure your new Imagine Breaker ability comes with a 'no fun allowed' clause."
"Maybe it'll boost your dating game," Ethan added with a smirk, remembering Coulson's cello-playing ex and how Melinda May always seemed to hover close.
"Also, rumor is that the Inhumans are sending someone to S.H.I.E.L.D. as a rep. I'd bet money Fury tosses Skye your way."
He paused, then grinned. "Honestly, you might be on the verge of living your best life."
While Ethan let his imagination run wild, Coulson just slumped against the wall again like a tired old cat.
He needed a moment.
He'd almost died—scratch that, should have died—and now he was alive with powers that seemed more like a prank from the universe than a gift.
The emotional whiplash had him staring off into the distance like a monk reaching enlightenment.
Ethan knelt beside him, his tone finally turning serious. "By the way, let's keep your mutate status under wraps for now. Once all this Loki business is over, I'll tell Fury myself."
"That so?" Coulson raised an eyebrow.
He should've reported this to Fury right away—protocol and all—but he owed Ethan big time.
Plus, the guy had a point. Earth was about to get a whole lot messier with Loki's invasion.
Telling Fury now would just cause more chaos.
Coulson gave a small nod.
Right on cue, Fury burst into the room, panic in his eyes.
He'd heard about Coulson's injuries and had rushed over immediately.
"Coulson!" Fury barked, hurrying to his side.
Coulson tried to sit up. "Sorry, sir… I let Loki slip away."
"Don't talk. Stay still," Fury snapped, noticing the blood on Coulson's clothes and quickly turning to call in medical.
"Sir, really, I don't need—"
"Don't you dare quit on me," Fury cut him off, voice cracking just slightly.
He'd seen too many agents bleed out in front of him.
The amount of blood told him everything he didn't want to know.
"Coulson, you hang in there, alright? You've always wanted a promotion, right? You make it through this, I'll make you Director."
"Really?" Coulson's eyes lit up. He laid back down dramatically.
"Three levels up. Director status. And a funeral worthy of a S.H.I.E.L.D. legend if you don't make it," Fury added.
Ethan rolled his eyes. 'Great pep talk, Nick.'
Coulson, playing along, groaned dramatically.
"Forget the Director stuff—I just want to know when my Level 8 clearance gets approved… and maybe that raise I've been asking about." he said with a 'weak' expression,
"I've approved your eighth-level agent assessment. As for the salary issue... huh?" Fury trailed off, his brow tightening as a realization crept over him. Something didn't add up.
"Alright, alright. I'll confess—I'm fine." Coulson raised a hand with a sheepish grin, already seeing the gears turning in Fury's head.
"What? How?" Fury ignored Coulson's attempts at humor, lifting his shirt to inspect the wound—and stopped cold. The skin over the spot Loki had struck was completely healed.
"Honestly, I thought I was done for. Then Ethan showed up and gave me some kind of glowing blue liquid. Next thing I knew, I was coughing and healing like Wolverine on a good day." Coulson gestured toward Ethan.
"Yep. That was me," Ethan said casually. "What he drank was something cooked up by mutant biotechs. You'd be amazed what kind of results you get when you combine healing mutations with a little synthetic science."
Fury gave him a long look, then nodded. "That's one hell of a serum you've got there."
"Glad it worked," Ethan said. "Coulson's a friend. Couldn't just let him go out like that."
Before Fury could respond, Tony's voice cut through from the speaker overhead. "Fury! Heard Coulson got hit—what the hell happened?"
Tony and Cap had just finished stabilizing the turbine.
Of all the Avengers, Tony had the closest bond with Coulson.
Fury opened his mouth to respond, but Ethan slapped a hand over it before a word came out.
"What happened to Coulson?" Tony asked, tension rising in his voice.
"He... died a hero's death," Ethan said, summoning his best fake grief. "He took Loki's hit head-on. Didn't even flinch."
Fury: "→_→"
Coulson: "(⊙_⊙;)"
"What?! Dammit—your camera's busted. I can't see anything from here," Tony barked.
"Loki got him," Ethan added with dramatic flair.
"We're on our way." Steve's voice followed, low and heavy.
When the comms went silent, Fury turned to Ethan. "Seriously, what the hell was that?"
"Helping," Ethan said simply. "This team's still fractured. We need them focused, angry—and nothing brings people together like a little righteous revenge."
Fury paused, then gave a slow nod. "You've got a point."
"Then you know what to do next," Ethan smirked.
"Don't worry," Fury said. "Acting's half an agent's job."
Coulson, watching the two manipulative masterminds casually plot with his very real survival as the punchline, finally muttered, "This feels... kinda wrong."
"Wrong?" Fury turned to him with a mock scowl. "You played your part perfectly. You're already in too deep to back out."
"Exactly!" Ethan grinned. "And don't you want Cap to sign that out-of-print collector's card set of yours? There's literally no better time than at your own memorial."
Under the combined manipulation of Fury's dark glower and Ethan's too-cheerful persuasion, Coulson sighed—then perked up.
"They say near-death brings blessings. Maybe I really did turn my luck around. That Captain America SSR card set is basically guaranteed now!"