"So he's been in your care all this time," the woman said when she recovered. "There were ridiculous reports he'd been sent to live with muggles."
For a moment he had the urge to say 'they prefer non-magical people.' It was astonishing how quickly that had become a habit; but the boy was right, Dursleys deserved no such respect.
"No, he hasn't," Lichfield corrected for the record before continuing. "I actually met the muggles in question," he said with a very dissatisfied look on his face, "but that's another story, and if you want any of those you're going to have to do something for me."
"I'll sit on the story I was going to write on him today," Rita was quick to say. "A little fluff piece, but sure to make the front page; nothing would sell papers like he would," she said as she began her pitch in earnest, hoping she could save it. "Just a playful little piece about a day out shopping with his little girlfriend before attending a belated birthday party with his many friends at Hogwarts. Though it would really go over well if I perhaps 'oversaw' a little chaste kiss before they left? You know; first love and all that."
"Cute," he said dryly. "Really makes me feel all warm and fuzzy."
That wouldn't have been a bad story to get out there if they had needed any good press, but with everything the kid was about to face he deserved to have one area of his life that was private.
"Why would you want to print a slop story like that for," he asked, "when the truth is so much more brutal and fun?"
That got Rita Skeeter's eyes to pop.
"And you'd tell me the truth on that?" she asked greedily as she groped for her quill again.
Lichfield held up his hand to stop her.
"In time," Lester agreed, before pointing at the quill and Rita's hand inched away from it again. "You play by my rules and you'll hear all the sordid details from someone who knows them all. Of course, you'll never hear them from me," he said meaningfully.
"Of course," she agreed with a smile that showed her gold teeth. "Of course, of course. It wouldn't do to taint someone as well-connected, principled, and-"
"-Ruthless as I am?" he finished for her, making her go a little green around the gills.
"I was going to say 'respected,' but that works too," Rita said with a pleasant smile. "It's only natural you wouldn't want your name to appear in the paper - unless it's in its official capacity somehow," she added quickly so as not to exclude herself from being able to print any future story which may have him in it for a good reason. She may be odious, but she was smart.
"Good to see we have an understanding," Lester said with a nod. "I've got a couple of things for you that'd be of immediate interest: how to follow up on Lockhart to turn those 'doubts' of yours into genuine concerns, then there's something happening tomorrow that'll blow everyone away - and you were curious about what's going on at Gringotts, right?" he asked knowingly.
"Absolutely," the woman said in a covetous whisper. "What do you want? Money? Bear your child? I'll do anything."
'Merlin's messy morals, the woman's worse than I thought, ' Lichfield looked at her oddly. Still, it worked for him, but even if he were interested in what she offered, offering it like that would've made him not want it.
"Nothing so burdensome or so costly," Lester said politely. "A small percentage; I'm not greedy. Granting you such unparalleled and exclusive access to such a wealth of information," he said, stressing the words which were sure to make the reporter even more ready to go. "-Comes with a great deal of responsibility. I've got to know you won't twist the stories into something they're not."
"Of course," Rita breathed, looking at him like he was the most desirous man in the country; it was damn freaky.
"Wonderful," he said, more than a little unnerved.
"Mipsy," Lester called. To the elf that popped up beside him he said, "My briefcase, please."
As quick as a flash his briefcase was on the table and from inside it he produced two documents thick with legal talk.
"What's all this?" Rita Skeeter asked, quickly scanning the parchment in case something leaped out at her as provocative.
"I had a chat with someone in our legal department and it turns out one of them knew a good deal about the laws around publishing," Lester said with a gleam in his own eye now. "This is a binding exclusivity contract with a non-disclosure agreement on you for your sources and stiff penalties should you break it or use anything I give you out of context to imply anything that isn't true."
"Binding?" she asked shocked. "No reporter would ever agree to such an infringement on their liberties. You could make me write anything you wanted."
"No reporter has the reputation you do for twisting facts to fit the story you want to sell," Lichfield batted her Bludger back to her. "If you don't want the Binding to go active, don't break your word and force me to go to the Ministry to have them Bind you into retracting everything. That'll make us both look bad. Besides, what other reporter is going to have such a well-placed source walk up and hand them a crate full of Snitches?" he asked rhetorically.
.....
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