Selena's POV
"Mother and father keep asking about you. They've opened up to you Sel. They want to build you into the woman worthy of staying by my side." His eyes sparkle with excitement.
"I will not be going to your family to see them for a very long time. It's been weeks and I have still lot recovered from the gruesome memories. For the first time in my life, I saw somebody's life slip out of them right in front of my eyes and only then did you mother and father accept me! I am not ready for such a bloody lifestyle Nikolai. It's best if we remain the way we are."
"To say nothing but the truth,I've been considering this contract marriage and I am not sure I'm the woman compatible with you. They were right after all." I air everything on my chest ignoring the most important reason why this cannot work.
I refuse to let him know that I still hold myself accountable over that horrible night.
"Selena,you signed a contract. The contract would only be terminated if one of us acts contrary to our duties as stated. And that is not going to happen."
I bite hard on my lip because I have already faulted. But how do I tell him that I faulted with his brother?
"What's that look?"
"Is there something you're not telling me Selena?" He sounds amused but I know him better to think it that way.
"Is there anything I could hide from you,even if I wanted to?" My own words taunt me, I'm not sure how but something in me conceives me that one day, Nikolai is going to find out the truth.
"I'm glad you know. Kieran would not hesitate to end you first before you see the other side of me." He checks his watch.
"I have a task by nine. I'll see you tomorrow." He pecks me and leaves.
I pound my fist on the chair annoyed at myself. Why can't I just tell him the truth? I've reprimanded myself for days and weeks that I will no longer tell him lies but the weight of my action weighs heavy on me everytime I intend to let it go.
Furious, I stand up to leave the space and clear the thoughts in my head.
I walk around the neighborhood aimlessly, no location,no goal. The whole place feels dizzy and I decide to head back home. I struggle to find my way back. The buildings all look like they are they were drawn by five year olds. I get home and I gasp for breath. I rest my hands on my knees to get myself when I get the feeling.
As fast as my leg can carry me, I rush to the toilet. I open my mouth and I throw up. I pant some more and I stay there maintaining my position.
"No,no,no. This cannot be happening. This cannot be happening." I wipe my mouth and I pick my bag. I lift my legs to run when the dizziness hits me again and I am forced to walk my way down to the hospital.
I arrive there and I stand there staring at the hospital building. I sincerely pray this is not what I am suspecting it to be.
I do not want to be the lady that ruins the relationship between two twin brothers.
And neither of their parents would accept it. They will hate me forever and call me a manipulator. To make it worse, Kieran is the Lord of the underworld.
I do not see a man with such character caring for my children.
I rush to the pharmacy, my heart in my stomach. I pray for all types of things to be wrong with me but definitely not this one,it should not be it.
"Can I have a pregnancy strip please?" I force the words out, disgusted at my own self.
"Good day." The pharmacist or whoever she is has a sadistic smile on her face. I ignore her pleasantries and stretch out my hands with my cash.
"Yes." She places the strip into my hands and collects the money. I turn back and I leave her there. I walk so fast that pain spreads to the rest of my thighs but I do not consider it a problem. There is a more serious situation on ground.
I take as much water as I can to hasten everything. The moment I feel like urinating, I pick up the strip and I go to the restroom. I pee on the strip, holding it as steady as I can.
Lines fluctuate and finally two lines appear on the strip. The strip falls from my hands as I struggle to accept the reality.
My shoulders tremble as I think back.
"It was just one night. I'm,I'm mistaken right?" I crouch down, fear grips my chest and I pick up the strip again. I turn it over and just like before, I see two strips.
I pick another empty one and I do the same thing over again. Maybe the other one was bad. Again, two lines appear.
I stare at the three strips on the bed when it finally hits me hard that I am pregnant. I have had my way with the two brothers and I have no way of telling who the pregnancy belongs to.
Could I be pregnant for Nikolai? Getting pregnant for Nikolai means we have to adjust the contract marriage and I will become his wife for life. As for Kieran, I have no idea which direction would spiral into if he is the one responsible for this pregnancy but I am sure it is not the life I plan to give my children.
Staring at the three strips, I make up my mind to inform him, I will let him know about the pregnancy and his brother. Kieran can go to hell for all I care.
"I have to inform Nikolai about this."