"Well, you all passed~"
Nanaka collected everyone's test papers with a bright smile. Despite a few hiccups during the exam, it seemed like everyone managed to pull through just fine~
"...Are you three really okay? I think I have some hemorrhoid cream in my bag, do you want to try it?"
Looking at his three pig-headed friends, Shiro pulled out his long-treasured hemorrhoid ointment. He had just witnessed firsthand what the wrath of a Yamato Nadeshiko looked like…
Utterly brutal—you could tell just by looking at the three's faces.
But it was also super effective. After all… they passed the test.
(???)
Iori stared silently at the hemorrhoid ointment. What kind of person so openly offers something like that to others?
"You bastard, Kamishiro! This is my face, damn it!"
"All made of cells—what's the big deal? And besides, your face currently looks exactly like your ass, okay!"
"!!! That still doesn't mean you should use hemorrhoid cream! And why do you even carry that around? Are you hiding something?!"
"...I'm a writer. You get it."
After all, he's a novelist. Getting hemorrhoids is basically part of the job, right?
"Wait, did Shiro really get hemorrhoids? How come I didn't notice last time? Hm?"
Azusa suddenly snatched the ointment from Iori's hands. That one sentence dealt a massive blow to the trio.
In their minds, disturbing scenes began to play out—
Shiro, wearing a collar, Azusa-senpai in tight leather, whip in hand, slowly approaching him with a… vibrating device…
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU INTO?!" Aina shouted, her face crimson. This was way beyond her comprehension!
Sorry, Kiyoko… it seems she couldn't keep Shiro safe. His virginity might be…
ψ(*｀ー′)ψ
"What the hell are you all imagining?! I said I'm an S, an S, got it?! When you're imagining things, please picture me as the one holding the whip!!"
Shiro had had enough—when did he ever become the M in this scenario?! That role obviously belongs to Azusa-nee!
"Who knows what the hell you two are doing late at night anyway?!"
"Can't you just go die already?!"
Iori and Kohei still didn't buy it. Honestly, a collar didn't sound too bad—this was Azusa-senpai, after all. Even at Oumi Women's University, she's one of the top-tier beauties!
Watching the four bicker again, Chisa looked on helplessly. Am I seriously the only normal one among this year's freshmen?
Also… why the hell can Aina see what those perverts are imagining? What even is this ability?!
Unable to make sense of it, Chisa turned back to a previous question.
"So, Azusa-senpai, how did you know that Shiro didn't have hemorrhoids?"
Azusa, who had been enjoying the chaos, was startled by the sudden question and quickly answered,
"Because before we came here, we had the Devil's Spicy Ramen together! And after eating it, Shiro could still sit down! How could someone with hemorrhoids do that?!"
"..."
Chisa suddenly understood why Shiro did get hemorrhoids. That stuff isn't meant for human consumption.
But still…
Why was Azusa fine?
She glanced toward Azusa's rear…
Big.
So big.
Grope!
"Nee~ What were you looking at, little Chisa~?"
A sultry voice whispered in Chisa's ear. Her face turned bright red—she'd been caught red-handed peeking!
"Azusa… Azusa-senpai, I-I wasn't looking at anything…"
Chisa trembled slightly. A bit of skinship was fine, but could senpai please move her hand from there? This position is not normal!
Azusa gave a devilish grin at the flustered Chisa and gave a firm squeeze. "Little Chisa, yours feels great too~"
{{(°△°; "}}!
Whoosh!
Chisa bolted, hiding behind her older sister.
Why did that feel like I was being cornered by a middle-aged pervert?! Was that just her imagination?!
And over on the other side, the four idiots had gone quiet. Why? Because why bother arguing…
When you can watch a delinquent seduce an innocent maiden?
Shiro was snapping pictures at lightning speed, capturing the moment with maximum efficiency. He was confident Chisa would pay handsomely to buy these precious memories of her and Azusa-nee!
Meanwhile, poor "decoy" Nanaka clenched her right fist, feeling deeply wronged. Her mind filled with complaints against Azusa.
How could that girl be like this?! I've never even touched Chisa's butt before…
She really wanted to try it, but would Chisa think she was a pervert if she did it now?
( ?? ﹏ ?? )
Nanaka fell into inner turmoil.
"Wait, so you do have hemorrhoids?"
Iori looked at Shiro. He seemed totally fine though.
"I do… And why the hell are we even discussing this?! We're about to go snorkeling in the shallows!"
Shiro was covered in mental scars. If he'd known it would come to this, he never would've taken out that ointment.
Damn his kindness!
"No, we're just curious about one thing."
"How can you still sit so calmly while having hemorrhoids?"
Iori and Kohei glanced at the chair that had already been packed away. Neither had experienced it personally, but they knew it shouldn't be this easy to sit down.
"...Don't ask. Just—kung fu."
Shiro didn't elaborate. He staggered off into the distance, his back full of melancholy and sympathy-inducing loneliness.
How could he tell them?
That he'd finished the test in a martial arts horse stance?
That he had to sit down a few times because of exhaustion, and only didn't scream because those two idiots were there and he wanted to save face?
Damn it, why was the toilet so far away? Don't they have any compassion for the hemorrhoid-affected?!
All Shiro hoped now was that he hadn't made it worse…
Because he forgot to bring a second pair of pants!
Why the hell were there no clothes in his suitcase?! What kind of cursed packing was that?!
...
While Shiro was off at the bathroom, the others continued tidying the house. They were about to head out for the shallow water diving practice.
If all went well, that would mean they were halfway to getting their scuba diving licenses!
At that moment, Aina suddenly noticed something she hadn't realized before.
She looked a little dazed, staring at the upperclassmen cleaning the room, and finally asked, "You guys… have been waiting here for us this whole time?"
Her eyes were filled with doubt—clearly confused why the senpai would stay and wait for them.
(′｀;)?
"What's wrong?"
"Well…"
"Is something bothering you?"
Azusa and the others were confused too. This didn't seem like a big deal.
"It's just… I feel kind of guilty that you've been waiting so long…"
Aina's expression was uneasy.
Her thoughts were still stuck in her last club. In TB, the upperclassmen would never wait for the newbies—especially not for her.
To them, she was just the "comic relief" clown.
"Ahahaha, it's fine~"
"No need to think so much about it."
"If we don't move together, we'd only trouble the store."
The senpai laughed, trying to reassure the cute underclassman in front of them. In PaB, there were no arrogant senpai throwing their weight around.
"Don't worry about others. Just focus on the real training ahead!"
"We're doing this because we want to!"
"U-understood…"
Though still a little anxious, Aina felt the warmth in their kindness. In her world, she had never experienced such gentle senpai…
"Looks like TB really did a number on her," Shiro muttered, suddenly appearing beside Iori. The idiot had been staring the whole time.
"She'll get used to it eventually."
Iori turned his gaze back. He had gotten used to it too, thanks to the seniors' care.
Maybe… he should start being more honest.