Chapter 31: Right Kind Of Pain
Lara made her way to one of the guest rooms down the hall.
As soon as she closed the door behind her, the numbness cracked, letting the ache crawl back in. She sat on the edge of the bed, then laid down, staring at the ceiling.
It's over. It's finally over.
She had said the words that needed to be said. She had chosen herself. She should've felt victorious, free. And in a way, she did.
But freedom, she was learning, could feel a lot like grief.
Her chest felt hollow. Not because she regretted it, but because it still hurt. Despite everything Lucas had done, despite the way she had been treated, she had still fought to keep the marriage alive, and now, it was slipping through her fingers. The reality of it was almost too much to bear. She could feel the rawness of the grief bubbling up, and before she knew it, tears were streaming down her cheeks.
Her heart wept, not for Lucas, but for herself. For the woman she had been all these years, fighting for a love that would never be hers.
For the woman who spent years holding on.
For the version of her that begged, waited, and hoped.
For the girl who had given everything, only to be left with nothing in return.
She turned on her side and curled into herself, clutching the pillow as sobs silently wracked her body.
Letting go hurt more than she imagined… but this time, she knew it was the right kind of pain.
She had to endure it. She must. For her peace, for her happiness, for her healing.
And so, she cried herself to sleep.
⫘⫘⫘
Morning came with a dull headache and the unmistakable puffiness around her eyes. The sunlight filtering through the curtains was too bright, too harsh. Lara groaned as she sat up, grabbing her phone off the nightstand.
6:22 AM.
Her body felt sluggish, like the weight of her emotions had seeped into her very bones.
She had to move, though. She had things to do—call her lawyer, get her affairs in order, start a new chapter. She wasn't going to let the hangover and the mess in her heart keep her down. Not today.
She was still in the Dela Merced household, Lucas' parents' home, and she didn't want to linger.
There was no time to fall apart again.
Dragging herself off the bed, she silently thanked the heavens when she noticed the guest room had a small bathroom attached. She couldn't go out looking like an emotional wreck.
She grabbed her bag and went inside. She washed her face, brushed her teeth, and tried to ignore the puffy-eyed woman staring back at her from the mirror. With gentle fingers, she applied moisturizer, then dabbed concealer under her puffy eyes. It barely helped, but it was something. She dusted some powder on her face to set it, brushed her hair, and tied it back into a neat ponytail.
She looked at herself in the mirror. She didn't look like someone who cried herself to sleep. That was good enough.
Straightening her dress, she stepped out of the room and quietly made her way downstairs.
The sound of light chatter and clinking silverware floated from the dining area. She rounded the corner and saw the Dela Merced family gathered around the breakfast table.
Evelyn was the first to notice her. "Good morning, darling," she said brightly, standing up to greet her. "You're finally awake. Lucas said you might sleep in. You must've been exhausted."
Lara offered a polite smile. "Good morning, Mom."
Her eyes briefly flicked toward Lucas, who was seated at the table, quietly eating his breakfast. He didn't even glance her way.
"Come, join us for breakfast," Evelyn said, looping her arm around Lara's and gently guiding her to the seat, right beside Lucas.
Of course.
The maid quickly set a plate in front of her.
"Good morning, hija." Arthur greeted with a kind nod.
"Good morning, Dad." she replied softly.
Lily, seated across from her, looked at her curiously. "You feeling okay, Ate? You seemed a little drunk last night…"
Lara's cheeks flushed in embarrassment. "I'm fine," she said quickly, forcing a smile. "Just… tired. Thanks for asking."
Evelyn chuckled. "Well, I made hangover soup just in case. It always works like magic."
She gestured to the maid, who placed a steaming bowl in front of Lara.
"Thank you," Lara murmured.
Evelyn beamed. "You're welcome, dear. Eat up. You'll feel better. Do you want coffee? Tea?"
"Coffee's fine," Lara replied with a small smile.
She ate slowly, avoiding the man beside her. Lucas still hadn't said a word. He kept his focus on his food, as though nothing was amiss.
She wanted to pretend too.
But then—
"Ate," Lily suddenly said, turning toward Lucas. "Did Kuya do something bad last night?"
Lara froze, her spoon paused in midair. Her eyes instinctively shifted to Lucas, whose hand also paused slightly above his plate. He glanced at her and their eyes met for a second but she immediately looked away.
"Did you guys fight or something?" Lily asked innocently, looking between the two of them.
The entire table went quiet. Evelyn and Arthur now turned their attention to them too, watching closely.
Lara swallowed, suddenly feeling like the room had shrunk.
"We didn't fight," Lucas finally said, his voice calm. "Just eat your food, Lily. Stop prying into things that aren't your business."
Lily pouted. "I was just asking…"
Evelyn and Arthur exchanged glances but chose not to press further.
The rest of breakfast passed with shallow conversation. Evelyn and Lily chatted about upcoming travel plans while Lara nodded politely, responding when needed, but mostly stayed quiet. Her mind was miles away.
When the meal ended, she stood up and politely addressed the family.
"Thank you for the breakfast, Mom, Dad. But I think I should be heading home."
"Oh, why so soon?" Evelyn frowned, touching her arm gently. "Can't you and Lucas stay a bit longer? It's so rare that we have you both here."
Lara's expression softened. "I'm really sorry, Mom," she said gently. "I have some work I need to get back to. Maybe next time."
The words tasted bitter as she said them. She hated lying, especially to them. Evelyn and Arthur had always treated her with kindness. They didn't deserve this. But what could she say? That there wouldn't be a next time? That their son and his wife were soon be annulled?
No. Not today.
Evelyn's disappointment flickered in her eyes, but she gave a small nod. "All right. Take care, dear."
Lara stepped forward and embraced both Evelyn and Arthur. "Thank you again. For everything."
"Bye, Ate!" Lily chimed in, giving her a quick hug. "Come visit us soon, okay?"
Lara forced a small smile. "I will," she said, even though she knew she wouldn't.
She turned and walked toward the door, her steps quiet but firm.
Outside, the morning air greeted her with a crisp chill. Lucas followed a few paces behind her, silent as ever. Without a word, he opened the passenger door of his car.
"I'll drive you home," he said.
Lara hesitated for a moment… then gave a short nod. "Okay."
She didn't want to commute. She was too tired, emotionally and physically, to deal with anything else.
The car ride was silent. Lara kept her eyes trained on the passing streets outside the window, her fingers loosely clasped in her lap. Beside her, Lucas said nothing, and she didn't expect him to.
What else was there to say? They had already said everything that mattered.
When they arrived at the house, Lara stepped out without waiting for Lucas and unlocked the front door with steady hands. The moment they stepped inside, the silence followed them in like a shadow.
Lara turned to him as they reached the living room.
"I won't be staying here anymore," she said, her voice calm, almost too calm.
Lucas turned toward her, clearly caught off guard. "What do you mean?"
She met his eyes, steady despite the ache in her chest. "I mean, I'm leaving. Today."
"But…" he frowned, taking a step forward, confusion flickering across his face. "We're not annulled yet. This is still your home."
Home?
The word felt foreign.
She shook her head gently. "No, Lucas. This house never felt like home. Not really."
His jaw clenched. "You don't have to rush. We haven't even figured out the details—"
"I want to rush," she interrupted quietly. "Because the longer I stay here, the harder it will be to walk away. And I can't afford to get attached again. Not to this place. Not to you."
For a moment, he looked like he wanted to say something more. But he didn't. Just stared at her, that same unreadable expression masking whatever thoughts were warring inside him.
She didn't wait for permission.
Lara turned on her heel and made her way upstairs.
Once she's inside her room, she started packing quickly. Only the essentials—clothes, toiletries, a few personal items. The rest, she'd come back for later.
She glanced around the room as she moved, her chest tightening.
This room had been her only refuge in this house. The walls had witnessed the countless nights she cried herself to sleep. The pillow had muffled sobs no one ever heard. The closet held more than just clothes, it held the weight of everything she had sacrificed for this marriage.
It hurts, she admitted to herself. God, it hurts to let it go.
But she had to. Not because she didn't care anymore, but because she finally cared enough about herself.
She wasn't going back to her parents' house. She couldn't bear to see their worry, or her father's anger, or the endless questions. She wasn't ready for that. What she needed now was peace.
Instead, she'd go to her old condo. The one her parents gifted her when she started college. She never sold it. At the time, she told herself it might come in handy one day.
She just never imagined this would be the reason.
After she zipped up the suitcase, she headed to the bathroom, took a quick shower, and changed into a simple pair of jeans and a loose white shirt. She tied her hair into a neat ponytail, applied a light balm to her lips, and stared at herself in the mirror.
No concealer. No make up or anything. Just her.
She looked... tired. But determined.
There was strength in her reflection, even if it wasn't loud.
She walked back into the room, grabbed the handle of her suitcase, and paused.
Just for a moment.
She looked around one last time.
The walls. The bed. The empty picture frame on the nightstand where their wedding photo used to be before she tucked it away few days ago, unable to look at it anymore.
A bittersweet smile touched her lips.
This room had been her prison... but also her sanctuary.
She'll defined miss this room. But she won't regret leaving it.
Then she exhaled deeply, turned her back, and walked out, pulling the door closed behind her with a soft click.