Here I am, on an Ojan giant horse that shimmers under the light like a magical fairy creature, accompanied by Claudius—the name I only just learned from the girls I met. I wonder why he had been hiding his name from me, but I didn't have the courage to admit that I already knew it. I didn't even dare to bring it up.
The ride wasn't long, but it was unlike anything I had expected. The horse, which I thought would simply trot along the ground, suddenly sprouted wings that unfurled in an instant, and we began to soar through the air. I gasped. Am I riding a unicorn horse?
It felt like a dream. Could this really be happening? Could I truly be in another world—a magical one like the comics and novels I used to escape into?
A part of me wished it was merely a dream, especially in light of the chaos I had caused. The idea of returning to the castle, of not seeing the guards I had left that morning, felt suffocating. I had grown accustomed to their presence since my arrival, and I couldn't bear the thought of never seeing them again because of me. Though I yearned to ask Claudius about the details, his silence and cold demeanor hinted that the answers would be ones I didn't want to hear. They were likely gone, and that thought tightened my chest.
I couldn't help but wonder: Why am I so passive? Why am I letting all of this happen? Am I content with being weak, with doing nothing—just enjoying the pretty dresses here? Is that really who I am now?
As the horse flew over the capital of Ojan, I caught a glimpse of the city below. Claudius noticed my fleeting curiosity and muttered, "This is the capital, the center of Ojan."
I didn't respond; I was too lost in thought, too tense. All I wanted was to return to the castle, lock myself away, and cry.
When we arrived at the Spiral Sky Castle, which seemed to float impossibly high in the sky, my feelings didn't improve. The two maids who had been attending to me rushed to my side, their faces filled with concern. For the first time, I felt a sense of human connection, of acceptance.
I couldn't help but notice the difference in our clothing. The maids were dressed in beautiful, feminine gowns, and so was I. Yet the women I had glimpsed in the capital—dressed in practical, masculine attire—seemed to carry a certain strength. Soldier-like. It made me feel small, as though we, the women of the castle, were nothing but dolls in our delicate attire.
Am I content with this? I couldn't even bring myself to speak to Claudius. I walked silently, allowing the weight of my passivity to overwhelm me. What have I become? Or is this the true me—something I've only just begun to realize in this world?
The maids led me to my room, where another beautiful gown awaited. They offered to take me to the bathhouse, but I didn't respond. I felt numb, too tired to care.
When dinner came, I refused to eat. I sat on the bed, alone with my thoughts. The overwhelming feeling of worthlessness hit me, the same feeling I experienced when I moved back into my parents' house. The sensation of being nothing, unable to contribute—of doing anything at all. It was a painful reminder of how I had lived my life.
I had run away from one life into this one—a life full of magic and mystery—but somehow, I still felt just as lost, just as empty. The idea of escaping back to my old life was tempting. I wished I could just run away again, back to the comfort of familiarity, to a place where I knew what to expect.
I'm good at running away.
But this time, I couldn't escape. I was trapped in a magical, dark fantasy world, with no way out.
Days passed slowly as I retreated further into the blanket of depression. I refused to leave my bed, shutting out food and conversation. The maids came each day, offering me a stroll around the castle or meals, but I turned them away.
Then, one morning, the beautiful, rainbow-colored bird returned. Every morning, it would come, look at me as I awoke, and then fly away.
I couldn't explain it. Why was this bird always watching me? I tried to find any mention of it in the books they gave me, but it was absent from any text.
I even asked the maids, but they only said there was no other species missing from the books.
What was this bird? And why did it feel like I was still being observed?
On a full moon night, I lay on my side, facing the window and gazing at the scooped, vivid moon, entranced by its ethereal beauty. Its light blended with my sadness, pulling me deeper into my swirling, miserable thoughts. It was then that I sensed a familiar weight of eyes on me. It was him. Since when had he been there? I hadn't even noticed his arrival.
As soon as he realized I was aware of him, he moved closer, settling at the edge of the bed, facing me.
"I heard that you haven't eaten properly for the last couple of days," he said, interrupting my reverie. Surprisingly, his voice was low and gentle, as if he were speaking to a child or a cherished pet. But why did I feel an unexpected warmth at his words? I should hate him, feel disgusted or even afraid—he is the Dark Harvester, for God's sake!
I buried my face beneath the covers, murmuring, "I just don't feel like eating." I couldn't explain why I felt this way, but I didn't want to risk provoking his anger. Was it fear or something more complex? He had never shown this softer side before.
Thinking back to our last encounter—when he lay beside me like a sacred child haunted by nightmares—I realized that we hadn't had a private conversation since the day he brought me back from the woods. After we landed, I had simply walked away, and strangely, he hadn't seemed interested in what had transpired, who had taken me, or what had happened since then. It was as if he already knew everything!
I felt his hand hovering in the air, as if he were about to touch me, but then he seemed to withdraw, changing his mind.
"What do you say?" he continued while I still hid beneath the covers. "Would you like to join me for a visit to Ojan's capital city tonight?"
In an instant, my feelings of worthlessness and guilt evaporated at his invitation. Yes, this was my dopamine spike! Damn it, Aly, why do you have no shame? I flung my covers aside, nearly startling the General of kingdoms.
"Visit the city at night with you?!" I exclaimed, excitement bubbling in my voice.
His reaction caught me by surprise. It was clear he hadn't expected such enthusiasm from me; his expression shifted from astonishment to a flicker of suspicion and almost anger. Then, unexpectedly, he softened, and a faint smile brushed his lips.
He stood up, moved to the door, and cast another look back at me. "Get ready. I will be back soon."