"You don't trust me, bro?" Lin Li looked genuinely disappointed as he stared at Bai Bufan, completely speechless. "What reason do I have to lie to you?"
"Mm-hmm, then swear on it." Bai Bufan nodded absentmindedly.
"The feeling of not being trusted is seriously disgusting." Lin Li was starting to get pissed.
"Mm-hmm, then swear on it."
"You know what kind of person I am. I'm usually easygoing, always joking around with you. But if you ever touch my bottom line, I'll show you what true darkness looks like. I'm the type who seems innocent and naive on the surface but is actually sharp and calculating inside.
I'm not short on ruthless methods, nor am I lacking compassion. There's both Buddha and demon in my heart, but I've sealed the demon away, leaving only the Buddha. I wanted to face the world with a merciful heart, but if you insist on making me unseal the demon within… Then tell me, Bai Bufan, when a real demon appears before you, can you handle it?"
Lin Li was really, really pissed.
"Mm-hmm, I'm actually just a braised chicken. Oh mighty baby-faced wolf, just swear on it." Bai Bufan remained utterly unfazed.
"I can swear on it, but from now on, we're done." Lin Li's voice turned ice-cold.
"Mm-hmm, then swear on it."
Lin Li took a deep breath.
Niu Niu, I'm sorry! But if I don't let go of you, I'll lose my reputation.
"This is your choice, Bai Bufan. You'll regret it!" Lin Li was really, really, really pissed.
"I swear—" Lin Li let out a cold chuckle, staring straight at Bai Bufan. "If I end up involved in that massage parlor case this weekend, my—"
Seeing the anticipation in Bai Bufan's eyes, Lin Li's lips moved slightly, but the finger he had raised slowly lowered.
Damn it. Damn it! In the end, I still can't bring myself to say it!
Bai Bufan, that bastard, betrayed their friendship just to seek the truth. But if Lin Li also betrayed his chicken wrap for the sake of his so-called reputation, then how was he any different from Bai Bufan? They'd both just be scumbags.
Lin Li was a proud member of the Animal Protection Society—Bai Bufan could hurt him, but he could never hurt his precious Moo Moo.
So, Lin Li and Bai Bufan just stared at each other. And stared. And stared some more.
Sometimes, silence was an answer in itself.
The moment Lin Li noticed the corner of Bai Bufan's mouth twitching, he knew he was about to break too.
With the spirit of General Yu possessing him, Lin Li pointed at Bai Bufan and sternly commanded, "Hold it in, dumbass!"
But those words acted like a fuse, instantly igniting Bai Bufan. He collapsed onto the desk, his entire body convulsing with laughter.
Rumor had it that people could actually die from laughing too hard. Lin Li watched him with concern, silently praying for his dear friend.
Could there be a risk of death?
Hope he's fine.
Actually, it'd be better if he just dropped dead.
Come on, you bastard, just die already!
But failure was an inevitable part of life—Bai Bufan survived, unfortunately.
After laughing for what felt like an eternity, and just before the English teacher completely lost their temper, Bai Bufan barely managed to sit up straight.
He turned to Lin Li and said, "I was wondering why you were so enthusiastic about hazing me earlier. So it was you all along?"
"Damn, it all makes sense now! No wonder you ran out right after night self-study last week! Was it for this?"
"Well, kinda. I was gathering intel." Lin Li wasn't embarrassed in the slightest. If they found out, they found out. Honestly, he didn't care if his close friends knew—as long as strangers didn't find out.
And honestly, even if the whole world found out, he'd just be mildly annoyed for a bit and then move on.
"Wait, so the 'suspect brawl' you swore on earlier was actually… you?! So while I was out here worried sick, you were out there enjoying yourself?!" Bai Bufan's eyes widened in realization as he interrogated Lin Li.
"I wasn't sneaking around behind your back. I went alone. And besides, do you not have legs? Why would I need to carry you?" Lin Li smirked.
Bai Bufan: "???"
"I didn't say anything wrong this morning—I actually went easy on you! How could you sneak off like that?! You're not human! Your old Xiling chicken wrap isn't clean anymore—" Bai Bufan clutched his chest in agony.
"Don't throw baseless accusations! Use your brain for a second—if I actually did that, would I still be able to get the reward money and prizes?" Lin Li needed to clear his name on this point.
"So it was completely clean?"
Lin Li flashed a cryptic smile.
"Your mom!"
Bai Bufan couldn't hold back anymore.
But he wasn't the only one:
"Bai Bufan! Lin Li! Get to the back of the classroom and stand! Separately! You two haven't listened to a single minute of this lesson!"
…
By the end of the English lesson, several guys in class had already found out what happened.
Not because Bai Bufan blabbed—Lin Li was sure that if he asked, Bai Bufan would never intentionally spread it. They were real friends.
It was just that when the others teamed up to interrogate him, Lin Li figured since Bai Bufan already knew, keeping it a secret now would just make him look stupid. So he came clean.
Of course, he told them not to spread it around.
Lin Li didn't get along with every guy in class—some were just classmates, not friends. No grudges, but no real connection either.
After all, not everyone could accept Lin Li's personality, and he found some of them boring too.
Fun was the essence of life.
To Lin Li's surprise, though, instead of getting mocked, he was met with shock, admiration, and an endless thirst for knowledge.
They weren't laughing at him—they were in awe.
To earn the right to hear Lin Li's tale, the guys even bullied poor Zhou Baowei into a forced brotherhood ceremony with Men Liang—the very same treatment Bai Bufan had suffered earlier.
Revenge was a never-ending cycle.
"Mr. Lin, your great revenge has been avenged! Now, please, share more of your wisdom with us!" A group of guys gathered at the stairwell, sincerely requesting his guidance.
Even Zhou Baowei, standing with his legs turned inward, had no complaints. He, too, stared at Lin Li with pure curiosity—like a teacher desperate for their students to show some genuine passion for learning.
So pure.
Sacrificing himself for the sake of knowledge? A noble cause.
Lin Li didn't hold back. He shared everything he could.
As he spoke, a system notification popped up:
[Demon-Slaying Deeds have spread to fellow disciples in Nansang Sect!]
[Your actions have inspired them! They eagerly await the day they can fight alongside you.]
[Mission triggered!]
[Mission Four: Bring at least one fellow disciple and assist the Demon Suppression Division in clearing out a Hehuan Cult stronghold.]
[Rewards: +10% Charisma, Random Pill x1, System Currency x50.]
Lin Li stared at the notification, stunned.
You've gotta be kidding me.
How did this unlock a mission?!
Would leading a group to a brothel get him struck by lightning?
Still… if he could complete two missions at once, wasn't this basically a freebie?
As the bell rang, they agreed to continue the story time next break and went back to class.
Lin Li turned to Bai Bufan.
"Bufan, if—just if—I go on another anti-vice raid, wanna come? I'll cover the cost."
Bai Bufan snapped his head around.
He stared at Lin Li.
Without hesitation, he answered, "Bai Bufan is a shitty name. From now on, call me Lin Bufan. What kind of child doesn't take their father's surname, right? Dad?"
Lin Li: "..."
He gave a thumbs-up.
A true man bends when needed.
"Dad, what were you saying again?"
"I said, would you—"
"Yes, I do!" Bai Bufan grabbed Lin Li's hands, tears of joy in his eyes—like a man who had just been proposed to.