Day Four of Waking Up Early, Day Three of Completing Mission One.
I want to die.
At least for the past two days, I could go back to sleep after waking up. But today, knowing that I have to go straight to school after training, Lin Li felt even more miserable.
Every morning, the only thing keeping Lin Li going was Kobe.
Man! What canned phrases am I even allowed to say? Black snakes, get out of here!
[Update Complete.]
Then, Lin Li noticed a message from the system.
He froze for a moment, feeling a bit surprised at first, but then immediately frowned.
The surprise? The system could actually update.
The frown? He was worried the system had fixed the bug. After all, Lin Li was currently surviving thanks to that bug.
As everyone knows, even if there's a bug, as long as the code still runs properly—no matter how much of a mess it is—you should never touch it.
They wouldn't actually make him transmigrate to deal with some Hehuan Cult demons now, would they?
Lin Li carefully examined the system and came to a conclusion:
"You updated...what exactly?"
Nothing new appeared, and nothing old disappeared.
No matter how he looked, he couldn't tell the difference. There wasn't even a patch note.
Whatever. He couldn't be bothered to care about it.
Hoping for a low-IQ system to function properly—wasn't that, in itself, a form of low-IQ thinking?
Singing a refined and sophisticated song, Lin Li once again arrived at his residential community:
"The sun shines bright, flowers smile at me. The little bird goes chirp, chirp, chirp—why is your brain filled with mush~~"
Weird.
Where's Little Zhou, the paradoxical old man?
For the past three days, every time Lin Li came here, Little Zhou had always arrived earlier than him.
Hopefully, he wasn't sick or something.
Even though Little Zhou had once tried to scam him and even attempted to steal his martial arts techniques, the magnanimous Lin Li didn't hold a grudge.
But if Little Zhou was sick, Lin Li wouldn't be surprised. After all, he had personally witnessed how frail the old man was—
A guy who could get out of breath just by standing and breathing or sitting and resting.
Still, hopefully, he was okay. Training alone was kind of lonely.
Shoving those thoughts aside, Lin Li focused on his training.
[Wake up before the early morning and diligently practice the Eight-Section Brocade body-strengthening technique for at least half an hour, for seven consecutive days. (3/7)]
By the time Lin Li, now a half-dead dog, sluggishly made his way back home to shower, he was both pleased and in pain.
A Few Minutes Later
From a nearby bush, an elderly man with camouflage paint on his face cautiously poked his head out, looking confused yet serious.
Today, he deliberately avoided monitoring the brat in plain sight and had instead hidden in the bushes early on.
Yet, even without his presence as the community's guardian, why hadn't that brat gone off to scam other elderly folks?
Was he really that dedicated to keeping up appearances?
Squatting here had nearly killed him. Thankfully, there weren't too many mosquitoes this early in the morning.
…Could it be that the brat had already noticed him? No way—he had hidden so well! He even used the skills he had learned in the army!
"Old Zhou."
Hearing someone call his name, Zhou Youwei turned his head and saw Zhang Fang, an elderly lady he knew.
"Old Zhang, what's up?" Zhou Youwei put on a gentle smile. Among the seniors in this community, Zhang Fang was the most refined and elegant. At an age where appearances no longer mattered much, she was still considered a beauty among the old men.
"The community belongs to all of us, and its maintenance relies on everyone," Zhang Fang said after carefully choosing her words. "Even if you're in a hurry, the public restroom is right over there. You should go there to take care of it."
Zhou Youwei froze for a moment, then suddenly realized what she meant. His old face turned beet red.
"I wasn't using the bathroom here!"
The old lady looked embarrassed, glancing down at where Zhou Youwei was squatting. She didn't say another word.
Zhou Youwei followed her gaze and immediately stood up in shock.
"Who the f**k took a dump under my butt?! No wonder it smelled so bad!"
"You see? You just admitted that's your butt, Old Zhou. Hurry up and clean it up—I'll pretend I didn't see anything." The old lady quickly walked away, giving him some privacy.
Zhou Youwei: "???"
What do you mean I admitted it's my butt?
"No, Old Zhang, come back! Look, it's dog poop! A dog did it!"
"Don't talk about yourself like that…"
"I'M NOT SAYING I'M A DOG! Where the hell are you getting this from?! I—I—"
The old man, who had miraculously not pulled a muscle yesterday, suddenly felt a sharp pain in his ribs.
Too bad Lin Li wasn't around to witness it.
…
Lin Li arrived at the classroom and handed out breakfast to a few classmates.
Ever since he started waking up before 5 AM, he had never been late delivering their breakfast.
Lucky for them, these ungrateful little brats.
"I just realized we have to sit through five straight days of classes. I wanna die," Zhou Baowei muttered lifelessly as he shoveled sticky rice into his mouth.
"Then pick a bad day to die so you can turn it into a good one," Lin Li yawned.
"Try not to die too soon," Bai Bufan added gently. "My little aunt's due to give birth in the next couple of days—I don't want you reincarnating into my family."
The sticky rice in Zhou Baowei's mouth plopped back into his bowl.
He stared blankly at Lin Li and Bai Bufan, his deskmates.
One played the bad cop.
The other… also played the bad cop.
Such a strong offense—no wonder these two sat together.
Lin Li had already slumped onto his desk, rubbing his face into the crook of his arm until he found a comfortable position.
—He had to seriously listen to his sect's lecture later. If he got sleepy, he'd be screwed.
Luckily, the first period and morning self-study were both English. He could use them to recharge a bit.
"Bufan, let me know when the English teacher comes. I'm gonna take a nap."
"Alright."
It was normal to be tired on a Monday, so Bai Bufan just nodded without teasing him.
When a person is truly exhausted, they can fall asleep instantly—
Even if Lin Li, being on the skinnier side, found resting his bare arms on the desk during summer a bit uncomfortable.
…
Lin Li stood in mid-air, accepting the villagers' reverence.
On his left, he held a cold and aloof righteous fairy.
On his right, he embraced a fiery and seductive demonic beauty.
His expression was relaxed and full of enjoyment.
"This was just a casual act of slaying a demon. No need for such gratitude—please rise." Lin Li waved a hand dismissively, unfazed by his own good deed. "If you really want to thank me, then prepare a 2.4m x 2m bed, some sucking jelly, popping candy, and ice cream…"
Why had he only asked for a 1.8m x 2m bed last time but a 2.4m x 2m bed this time?
Because last time, it was just two people.
This time, it was three.
That's called attention to detail.
Before Lin Li could finish his request, a wave of pain struck.
The demoness in his arms suddenly elbowed him hard.
Just as he was about to question her, he saw the righteous fairy charging in to elbow him too—
And heard Bai Bufan's voice coming from her mouth.
Lin Li instantly realized—
…
"Lin Li, wake the fk up! LIN LI, WAKE THE FK UP!"
Lin Li jolted awake, instinctively grabbing his English textbook and pretending to read.
The classroom was dead silent.
Nobody seemed to be doing morning reading.
Lowering his book, he was met with an eerie sight—
Every single classmate was staring at him.
Including the English class representative standing at the podium.
Oh no. Oh no. Oh no.
"I didn't… talk in my sleep just now, did I?" Lin Li gulped and turned to Bai Bufan.
"Please, for the love of God, shake your head."
This wasn't something he could afford to live down!