A month has passed since I was fired, and my new life has begun.
Initially, it wasn't an easy pill to swallow as I loved my job. I loved being in the classroom and watching my students grow into the individuals they are today. It hurt that I didn't have the chance to say goodbye or to gather my things from the classroom, but I had expected such for their safety.
On that same day, Beth came back into the apartment as she and Leonardo had been worried about me. She handed me a new phone in which her number and Leo's were pre-saved. It was the newest one on the market.
"Before you ask, I already told your mom that you would call once you're free and that you changed your number because of the whole fiasco."
"How'd she react?" was my initial question.
"Considering she likes me, she reacted better than I thought." Beth admitted. "But I would say proceed with caution when you call her."
"I don't think I will," I grumble, tugging my baby blanket closer to my body.
"I don't blame you," she says, patting my back lightly and on the surface of the blanket. "I'll have your back either way."
Her words held true until the inevitable storm called life paved its way.
During that same first week, right there at the front of our door, we received an unregistered delivery of food neither of us had ordered. There was no name or information attached to the bag of food. We thought it had been a mistake of some sort until the second week came, and we suspiciously started to receive more on a daily basis.
Beth tried to be optimistic about it at first by saying "yay free food" and then tossing it straight into the trash can, as neither of us knew what they could've put inside it. We initially thought it was Leo sending the food to us, but when I had asked him about it, he genuinely had no clue and sent a security team to monitor the parameters of the complex.
By week three, Beth and I grew concerned as, despite these precautionary measures, random deliveries continued to be dropped off. This prompted us to pack our things, and by week four, Beth and I had moved out.
Beth and Thomas decided to live together, and I reluctantly moved in with Leonardo. It wasn't my preferred choice, but it was the best one I had. He and a whole squad of movers made the transition easy for both Beth and me. We'd text daily as she went to her work, and I sulked in my room.
It took a bit to get used to this new lifestyle, as I never had a personal chef to make me breakfast in the morning or a maid to clean my room every time I went outside to read on the patio. I slowly became friends with the staff as Stefan introduced me to each of them, and I offered to help.
"That is not you're job." Chef Seda protested when I offered to do something in the kitchen while I waited at the table.
"I have no job, who's going to stop me?"
He chuckled and hesitantly picked a bowl of pancake batter that needed to be stirred. He turned to Sir Stefan for approval and got a single nod in response.
"Yes!" Squeeze my hand into a fist and pull it down in celebration.
"Don't hurt yourself. If you do, I will withdraw you from the activity." Sir Stefan warns me.
And so my routine started. I helped maid Donna with cleaning my room, cooked with Chef Seda, and watered the garden with Señor Manolo. All was done, and by the time Leonardo got home from filming, I had settled myself outside on the patio with the stars and fairy lights I had put up as I continued to read my book.
Leonardo would talk to me from time to time, telling me about his day on set and what shoots he was going to have and where. From an introvert's perspective, it seems exhausting.
Today, he had to wake up at the crack of dawn to film a specific scene, and hours after that, attend a conference meeting with his marketing team over his newest deal with a skincare company he has been working with.
"How do you do it?" I ask, slightly tilting the book I was reading away from my face. His hair was lightly damp from his shower and lightly dripped onto his white tee and grey sweatpants.
The man couldn't wait to talk to me. Sir Stefan made the joke of praying for my ears as he used to be the one Leo would talk his ear off to.
"Do what?" Leo perks in his seat at my sudden interest.
"Everything," I say, waiving the book in the open night air of the pearly patio. I was careful to hold it tightly, as in the center, the bonfire was lit by Sir Stefan. "All the acting you do, the photo shoots, and dealing with everyone's eyes on you."
A small grin perks from the corner of his lips. "Honestly, at first, I asked myself the same question," he admits.
"Really?" I gasp. He always made his lifestyle look as perfect as a fitted glove on his hand.
"Yes! I dreaded when my mom took me to my shoots and when I had to miss certain events because I was booked that weekend. I would've given anything to be normal, but we needed the money, and I knew once the ball was rolling, there was no stopping it," he sighs. "I wanted it to stop, but then I saw how happy it made my parents, my agent, and my fans. They kept me motivated. As for exploring anything else, I guess when you have been doing something for so long, you get lost in the familiarity."
"I see," I say quietly.
I wasn't sure what more I could say without crossing any lines.
"How do you do it?"
"Teaching?"
"Reading." Leo clarifies.
"Reading?" I repeat, holding up my book.
"Yes, reading," he chuckles. "For the longest time I've known you, you've always seemed to have a book with you, whether it is after school, waiting for my mom to pick us up, or in between breaks during our debate team meetings. Not to say it's bad or anything. I'm simply amazed by how much you read."
"Huh," I say. I didn't think Leo would be the type to ask such a question, but I guess he could say the same with the one I gave him, as we were never in the position to do so. "Do you want a simple answer or a genuine one?"
"Genuine." He blinks, surprised. Almost as if he didn't expect the option. Usually, whenever this question had been asked, I'd give a simple response as I had everyone else. "I read because it makes me happy,"
But this time, it was different. I felt as though I could trust Leo.
I take a breath, unable to look away from him past the pages. "Because nothing else does."
His eyes attempt to bore into mine.
"What do you mean?" he asks softly, careful not to show too much concern to scare me.
"You know how some people use drinking and drugs to help them feel something?"
"Yeah?"
"Mine are books. Without them, I don't think I would be here." I respond, my eyes drift over to the next page. "When I'm reading, I don't feel numb anymore. It's so much easier for me to deal with the problems in my book rather than my own because I know it will be okay. It's almost as if for a brief few moments, nothing matters. The world disappears, and there is this weight off my shoulders, and I am no longer alone."
"How long have you felt this way?"
"When haven't I felt this way?" I replied, honestly. "It's either books or my sour candy. Without them, life would be a whole lot harder to deal with."
"About that," Leo takes a deep breath. "I've been meaning to ask you about them, if that's okay.
"Shoot," I say, turning to another page. My left hand holds the book a little tighter than I hoped. I knew this was bound to come up after what happened at the last event. It was the first time he had ever seen me like that. Deep down, I was secretly thankful, but on the surface, I wished he hadn't tried to help me.
Only two people have ever witnessed my panic attacks: the first being Beth, and now Leonardo. I swore to myself that I would never let anyone see me in that state, but I guess some things cannot be avoided.
He carefully searched for his words as his eyes bounced between the book cover and me.
"Do they help you with panic attacks? The sour candy?"
"They do." I slightly bounce my head up and down. "In a way, they also stop them from happening. It helps me regulate myself. I can't explain it fully, but it's like an immediate solution. It diverts my attention for a split second, and the second is what changes everything for me. It doesn't work for everyone, but it does for me."
"What's your favorite flavor?"
I glance up from my book, arching my brow and narrowing my eyes. Not going to lie, his simple question had me on my toes as if my favorite flavor would give away the keys to my personality.
He reaches into his pockets and places a bunch of my sour candies in different flavors. "I wanted to make sure I get the right ones for you since you've run out. I may or may not have bought the variety pack already, but I wanted you to have these…." His voice slowly drifts as I lower my book completely out of my face. "…..just in case."
"Leo," I gasp aloud.
"I'm sorry if this is me overstepping." he rubs the back of his neck, tightening his shirt around his biceps.
"No! No! It's fine. I'm- wow, you even got the tamarind one." I say picking it up. "They only sell these in Mexico!"
Leo's face completely switched from nervousness to absolute amusement, and what grew to be a heavy conversation turned light.
"Is that your favorite flavor?"
"Oh heck no!" I whisk the air with a flick of my wrist. He chuckles.
I brush around the candies that were in his pocket and pick my favorite. "This one."
"Blue raspberry."
His smile grew across his face, and his dimples came out like two shadow men on each side of his mouth against the whites of his teeth.
"Good choice." He takes the same flavor from the pile and unwraps it. I do the same with the one in my hand and roll it on my tongue. I laugh when he instantly scrunches his eyes and lips closed from the sourness. "I swear it is also my favorite."
"Oh, I believe you." Sarcasm slips out of my lips. I make sure to put my lions back into their dens with my next words. "Thank you, Leonardo."
"Of course."
"No, thank you for everything," I say, closing the book in my hands with the wrapper marking where I had left off.
"It's the least I can do for you, Stephanie." His eyes meet mine, and the flames grow hotter from what I anticipate is radiating off the fire pit. But that fire was not on the surface; it was coming from inside of me.
For a brief millisecond, we see each other, speaking in tongues the gods only would understand in the silence. The moment quickly fades when the alarm on his phone blares out from his pocket, and we are cut from our connection.
As he pulls it out to turn it off, I couldn't help but notice the star dangling on his wrist. He swears under his breath and places it back in its stop when it stops beeping. His mouth opens as though he were to ask another question, but I cut him off, knowing what that alarm was for.
"Got to bed, Tortuga." I lift myself out of the cushioned chair. He tries to protest, requesting a few more minutes. I answer to his pleas by summoning Sir Stefan to extinguish the fire. He rushes into the room and supports my stance.
"You do have a long day, sir."
He sighs, and his shoulders droop in disappointment. "Very well."
We both walk up to the staircase, and like that, the month comes to an end, and by nightfall, a new one pours over.