Saval looked at the clock in his room. It read five past four. The sun filtered through the cracks in the curtain, barely illuminating the posters on his wall, the collectible figures on the shelf, the messy notebooks next to his laptop.
He was sitting on the edge of his bed, holding his cell phone, replaying an old conversation with Semiel. One where they'd talked about silly things, a funny clip on the stream, what food to order that day. He smiled as he remembered Semiel's laugh, his way of writing with those ellipses that sometimes you couldn't tell if they were hesitation, sarcasm, or tenderness.
I shouldn't be this nervous. We're just going out. Like always. As friends. Like... something more. Maybe we're not just friends anymore. Maybe not since he kissed me.
The memory came back clear. The warm touch, the closeness of his body, the way his lips met hers with a softness that sent shivers down her spine. It had been sudden, yes. But it hadn't bothered her. It had surprised him, confused him... but also, it had felt good.
Very good.
He put his cell phone aside and let himself fall back onto the bed, covering his face with his hands.
What if he kisses me again today? What if I wait for him to? What if... I want to do it too?
He felt the heat rise up his neck. His chest was pounding harder than usual, and his mind, no matter how hard he tried to stop it, couldn't stop imagining it. Semiel's hands. His breathing close. His voice telling him he loved him.
Calm down. Don't think about it now. No... not like this.
He sat back down and shook his head. He took a deep breath.
"Come on, Saval, relax." Don't make a mental drama out of all this.
He stood up and walked to his closet. He opened the door and stared at the clothes as if they were an existential dilemma.
"It's not a date, right? We're just hanging out. Like always. But... I don't want to look messed up either."
He chose a simple light gray T-shirt and a light jacket. Dark jeans. Clean sneakers, without looking like he'd tried too hard. Casual but presentable, he thought.
He left the clothes on the bed and went to the bathroom. He washed his face, combed his hair a little. He looked at himself in the mirror.
"You're fine. Everything's fine."
But he kept wondering what he wanted. Because it wasn't just about Semiel liking it anymore. He knew that. It was clear. But what did he feel?
It's not like what I had with Antonella. It's more... warm. Clumsier, too. More sincere. With Semiel, I feel... safe. But also confused. As if he were looking at me and could see everything I hide, and it didn't bother him.
He went back to his room. He sat down in front of his laptop and opened a file of sketches. Some were characters of his own, others were ideas for a comic he hadn't touched in months. There was one he'd started days ago, after our second kiss. A figure with his back to us with curly hair, looking up at the sky. He'd drawn it without thinking. All he knew was Semiel.
He smiled.
This is getting real, isn't it? Not just an impulse. Not just an experiment. It's something... more.
He lay down for a few more minutes, staring at the ceiling. His chest felt restless. Not out of fear. Out of desire. A desire to be with him. To spend time together. To discover how far they could go if they were allowed.
He picked up his phone and saw a new message. It was from Semiel. Just confirming the time and place. He replied with, "I'm almost ready," and a smiley emoji. Then he laid his phone face down and fell silent.
I don't know what we're going to do today. Maybe just walk, talk, laugh. Maybe he'll give me another strange gift. Maybe he'll look at me like I'm all he needs, and I'll... believe him.
He sat down on the bed and started to change. As he buttoned his jacket, he paused for a second.
If he kisses me again... I don't think I'll be able to resist this time.
And with a faint smile and his heartbeat still racing, he left his room.