Harry and Hermione only took one look at the "fish tank" in Cohen's pocket and decided to keep their distance.
"Is it... really alive?" Harry asked. "Or is it... you know..."
"I'm not so deranged that I'd murder someone and then scoop out their brain to keep it as a pet fish in a jar," Cohen said, holding his head.
Since the Count had been sent out on a mission, Cohen had to rely on the Count's wife to deliver the letter to Edward. He could only hope Edward had already changed his plan to killing the brains after he became Minister, not doing it now.
Cohen had his own pressing matters to attend to, as did the person who had sent him the brain.
After lunch the next day, as Cohen was about to leave the Great Hall, he ran into a round-faced Hufflepuff girl.
"Hello?"
She cautiously approached the Gryffindor table, causing Harry and Ron to gasp in disbelief. "What a lucky day to be your friend..."
Cohen rolled his eyes at the two of them, then turned to the Hufflepuff girl. "Can I help you? You look familiar..."
"We're in Herbology together," the Hufflepuff girl said. "Remember? I'm Susan, Susan Bones."
"Oh, right!" Cohen said, as if a light bulb had gone off.
He remembered her now—Susan Bones, whose aunt was the Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. And this time, her aunt and Edward were actually rivals, as Amelia Bones's name was on the election ballot.
"We've been classmates for five years... it's not like we're strangers," Susan said, a bit helpless at Cohen's overly dramatic reaction. "Did you open the package I sent you yesterday?"
"I haven't opened most of them. Did you put your name on yours?" Cohen said. "I'll go back and look for it."
"It's not because I'm being cheap and want it back!" Susan said, annoyed at Harry and Ron. Their eyes had turned from suspicious to "how could you take back a gift you already gave away?" the moment Susan mentioned the word "gift."
Susan then pulled Cohen out of the Great Hall to find a more private place to talk.
"If you haven't opened that gift yet—please don't—there's something very dangerous inside," Susan said cautiously.
"A bomb?" Cohen asked, pretending he didn't know it was a brain.
"No," Susan shook her head. "I realized I don't have any memories from the last few days—not since I went to Hogsmeade last week. Then Hannah told me I sent you a gift yesterday..."
"My aunt told me what it feels like to be under the Imperius Curse," Susan said nervously. "My symptoms all match up, and with your dad's election going on, I suddenly realized someone might be using me to get that dangerous gift into the school, and then..."
"Hmmmm..." Cohen rubbed his chin.
How could he tell her that the dangerous gift had already been opened and he quite liked it...
Wait.
Cohen had an even better idea. One that was even better for Edward.
"I'm not lying to you. I can get you plenty of other gifts. This is really dangerous!" Susan said when she saw Cohen's hesitation. "I already wrote to my aunt. It must have been a Dark wizard—maybe even You-Know-Who. You see, my aunt works at the Ministry, and she hinted that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named has actually returned, but because..."
"No, I don't disbelieve you," Cohen said. "What I mean to say is that I've already opened the gift you mentioned."
"Oh? What was it?" Susan asked, surprised, thinking she had gotten worried over nothing.
"A brain," Cohen said.
"A what?" Susan's brows furrowed.
It would be too difficult to explain, but it would be simple to show her.
Cohen told her to come to the Gryffindor common room and wait outside the door. Then he went in by himself, pretending to bring the tank out from his dormitory but in reality pulling it from his pocket. The Unauthorised Undetectable Extension Charm was illegal, and it was better not to show someone he didn't know his criminal acts.
When the tank was presented to Susan, her expression was exactly the same as Harry and the others when they first saw a swimming brain.
"It's already been tamed," Cohen said, reaching in and poking the brain a few times. The brain then spewed out a colorful stream of brain fluid, turning the surrounding water a darker shade.
"Ugh..." Susan took a step back. "That doesn't look like a normal... creature. Shouldn't you... give it to a professor?"
"It's pretty obedient, and I can talk to it," Cohen said, showing her. "Roll over."
The brain rolled over.
"Do the Samba."
The brain turned its forehead toward Cohen, as if to say, "Do you really think I can do that?"
"Fine, that's a bit too hard for a brain. How about a pole dance, then—"
"Stop, stop!" Susan looked like she was about to throw up—the colorful mess the brain was spitting into the tank was inexplicably nauseating.
"If it's not dangerous... still, I have to tell my aunt that a Dark wizard used the Imperius Curse on a student in Hogsmeade. That's a very serious matter..."
---
Mission accomplished!
Cohen's plan was for the Ministry to find out that these brains "couldn't deal with him."
Push them to a dead end, and they would know what to do.
These people's moral compass was a bit too far gone. To assassinate Cohen with a brain without leaving any traces, they would even stoop to using a colleague's niece...
Cohen remembered that many members of the Bones family were killed by Voldemort and his Death Eaters.
Ah, politicians.
"Ah, the no-nosed pale-faced one," the Count said that afternoon, dropping a letter to Cohen. "He seems a bit angry—I mean, before I even got there. I get the feeling he'd use the Killing Curse on any owl that flew by."
"I always use you to deliver his letters, so he knows you're Cohen's owl—you don't have to worry about him using the Killing Curse on you," Cohen said, tearing open the letter.
"What if you betray him?" the Count said. "You're bound to reveal your true intention of wanting him dead sooner or later..."
"If I don't like the side, I'll just switch. I don't care," Cohen said, glancing at the letter's contents. Voldemort said that the person on duty on January 20th was Rookwood—a Death Eater. "By then, you won't have to deliver letters to him anymore."
This meant that the Ministry of Magic "could" be empty on the night of January 20th.
"I really don't understand why the Ministry would keep a Death Eater who's been around since the last war in its research department," Cohen said, shaking his head. "Did the wizarding world run out of people?"
"Because they gave them money," the Count said wisely. "Back then, everyone thought the no-nosed pale-faced one was dead. It was more profitable to go after the Death Eaters' money than to actually hunt them down—of course, that doesn't include the mad ones who were willing to kiss the hem of his robes."