"Don't tell me you're going to make another me?" Cohen asked.
"Your existence cannot be replicated," Nicolas said. "We just need to regularly inject humanity into it, not just yours – but also that of those who love you. Until that amalgamation of humanity can survive like a living being."
"Like Edward and Rose?" Cohen asked.
"Your parents are the best choice, of course, making sure not to harm them in the process," Nicolas said. "Humans can produce these things endlessly – but don't extract too much at once, it will affect family harmony... I remember Perenelle and I had a cold war for a week when the Sorcerer's Stone was first made – it was quite terrifying."
As he spoke, Nicolas's portrait shivered in recollection.
"I think I'll just tell them the truth about this."
Cohen mused,
"Sneaking around with my wand to extract their 'humanity' looks a bit like the kind of thing that would lead to a misunderstanding and force a thirty-thousand-word tearjerker novel plot to explode..."
"And I bet nobody wants to read that," Earl yawned. "Those kinds of stories usually add some cliché where 'the protagonist keeps explaining, but the stupid supporting characters never believe them until the world is about to be destroyed, and then they suddenly realize and start getting all emotional.'"
"Makes sense," Cohen nodded.
"Of course, it makes sense," Earl said matter-of-factly.
"Right, right?" Nicolas didn't quite understand what the two of them were talking about.
"I have an announcement to make – where's Mom?"
Cohen left the workshop with the book containing Nicolas's portrait, but only saw Edward downstairs.
"Your mother went to see other men," Edward said, full of vinegar.
"Really?" Cohen asked suspiciously. "Isn't it just because that colleague you asked Mom to socialize with is better-looking than you?"
"He has a little Hitler mustache, and abs, and he's full of sweet talk... but that's not the point. The point is that person clearly has a thing for your mother, otherwise why would they suddenly find her at home on the weekend and ask her to go to the editorial department –" Edward replied. "No, I can't just sit here and do nothing – I'm going out to work!"
"Eddie's all grown up..."
Cohen sighed dramatically,
"Wait, aren't all the people in the newspaper office Muggles now?"
"Hmm?" Edward asked. "What's wrong with Muggles?"
"You're a wizard!" Cohen directed. "You can't let Muggles walk all over you like this! Be a little ruthless, go and cement up the toilet in his house."
"That's too dirty. I'm going to defeat him through proper means," Edward said indignantly. "Just wait, I'll write it in my job application to the newspaper this afternoon – what were you saying you wanted to announce just now?"
"I just went to see Nicolas Flamel."
Cohen placed Nicolas's book on the coffee table.
"About the problem with me – maybe it's more appropriate for him to explain it to you..."
Edward looked at Nicolas Flamel's portrait in surprise, but before he could exchange pleasantries with the great alchemist, Nicolas cut straight to the chase.
The topic of how Cohen could "retain his humanity" had just been brought up when Edward changed his polite tone and asked urgently:
"What do we need to do? Split the soul again? I –"
"It's not that serious..." Cohen held down Edward, who looked like he was about to tear his soul again. "If you tear it again, you'll turn into breadcrumbs. We just need to take a little bit of 'humanity' periodically – sounds like I'm a parasite clinging to you guys, eating your souls and sucking your humanity..."
"Don't talk nonsense," Edward said in a tone of voice Cohen had never heard before, serious and firm. "You're my son – don't you dare call yourself a parasite."
"Alright," Cohen shut his mouth. "I just wanted to lighten the mood..."
After understanding the whole process, Edward was even more eager than Cohen himself to complete this "Hermes's Bottle."
But unfortunately, the impurities of humanity in the bottle needed time to cultivate, and Edward's alone was clearly not enough.
Cohen planned to stretch the process out a bit.
"Isn't it enough?" After pouring a wisp of unclear, cloudy mist into the Hermes's Bottle, Edward said worriedly. "I feel fine right now, should I add more?"
"Don't add any more, you still have to write your job application this afternoon," Cohen closed the bottle cap.
"I don't really feel like writing it now," Edward said.
"That just proves that your current state isn't 'I feel fine right now'," Cohen refused Edward's request. "Go write your job application, and then go to the newspaper office and give that old man who's eyeing my mom a good kick in the pants."
Bang!
The front door of the house opened, and Rose rushed back in, fuming.
"He doesn't do any work himself and still wants me to work overtime for him! Does he think I'm one of those little girls who have no opinion and will just be exploited by their boss?" Rose said angrily. "That damn Hode – what were you guys just talking about? I think I heard Cohen say... 'eyeing my mom'?"
"Edward said he's going to work at the newspaper!" Cohen interjected quickly.
"No!" Edward hurriedly waved his hand. "I feel like right now – ah, my back hurts so much – oh no, Cohen, quick, quick, help me back to the bedroom – I think I have a cramp – it hurts so bad I'm talking nonsense..."
"That's 'the moment you hear there's work to do, your limbs go weak and your whole body aches syndrome'," Cohen said. "At Hogwarts, you wouldn't even get a sick note for that."
"If you want to go, I do have a position here," Rose said suspiciously. "But why do you suddenly want to go out to work? Haven't you been getting dizzy occasionally? Or is it because of the house-elf? I can arrange for her to go to a friend's house if that will make you feel better psychologically..."
"What's with the dizziness?" Cohen asked curiously.
"Because... emmmm... from fighting?" Edward said vaguely.
Cohen felt it was more likely a sequelae of splitting his soul – Edward's soul was much more damaged than Rose's.
The topic of Edward's employment didn't last long. Soon, Rose was also told about Cohen needing to "preserve his humanity," and her choice was no different from Edward's.
After collecting a small portion of humanity, Cohen returned to his room with Nicolas's book.
"Is there any way to help my parents replenish their souls too?" Cohen suddenly asked. "Wouldn't having a gap in their soul have some negative effects...?"
"There are effects, but not many," Nicolas said. "But I'm sorry, repairing a soul damaged by dark magic isn't difficult, but this kind of..."
"Why can't they?" Cohen frowned.
"Their souls were split because of love," Nicolas said. "The part of their souls that is missing... formed you and also became part of the 'gold.'"
"'Gold,' you can tear it apart, contaminate it, but you can't decompose it."