The idea of becoming Lockhart could wait for now…
Cohen didn't have the energy to write in his diary at the moment.
After helping the unicorns move the entire "brewery" into the suitcase, they'd successfully settled into their new home there.
The Earl had already flown back to the Room of Requirement with the suitcase, while Cohen decided to check out the Quidditch match results. The game was over by then, and most of the spectators were heading back to the castle in groups.
As Cohen made his way back to the Hogwarts grounds, he ran into Harry and the others.
They were lagging behind the rest of the crowd since Harry had to change and pack up his broom.
"Cohen! Why didn't you come watch the match? You missed it—Harry's catch was insane, diving straight down from fifty feet!" Ron said, practically buzzing with excitement as he recounted the moment to Cohen.
"I can't even ride a broom," Cohen replied, raising an eyebrow. "I've got no clue what that means, but it sounds like Gryffindor won."
"Gryffindor did win," Harry said with a grin, though his expression hinted there was something he wanted to talk about privately with the trio.
There weren't many people around, but some could still overhear—like the Slytherin team members who'd just changed out of their robes and were trailing not far behind, looking moody and sullen.
"Let's get back to the common room quick—I've got something to tell you guys," Harry said, tugging the three of them along faster.
The second they stepped into the Gryffindor common room, Harry couldn't hold it in any longer.
"I ran into Dobby—you know, the house-elf who tried to stop me and Ron from coming back to school and hexed the Bludger that broke my arm."
"When?" Ron's eyes widened. "Don't tell me it was during that first dive? We thought you'd spotted the Snitch—"
"It showed up on the field, right at the edge of the stands," Harry explained. "I thought it was going to mess with the Bludger again…"
"But the Basilisk's already in the suitcase with Cohen, right?" Hermione frowned. "Dobby said it just wanted to save you, and you're not in danger anymore."
"It wasn't there to cause trouble," Harry said, breaking into a laugh before glancing at Cohen. "It came to apologize to me—not during the match, though. It vanished when I flew toward it, but it popped up again after the game when I was changing."
"Wait, why are you looking at Cohen like that? He wasn't even there…" Ron stared at Harry and Cohen, disbelief creeping in. "Don't tell me that elf was Cohen in disguise…"
"You're worse than Lockhart with your wild theories," Cohen said, his face dropping into a deadpan.
"No, I mean the elf's free now," Harry quickly clarified. "Dobby apologized for everything it did before and told me 'Cohen is a very, very good sir.' It said it was wrong about him earlier."
"Pfft—" Hermione burst out laughing. "'Yes-man Cohen.'"
"'Miss Know-It-All,'" Cohen shot back with a mock glare.
"What did it say about Cohen before?" Ron latched onto the detail. "Harry, you never told us it mentioned Cohen…"
"Uh…" Harry hesitated, clearly not wanting to spill. "It only just told me about its bad opinion of him—I think it meant…"
"Because I got invited to the Malfoy's place last summer," Cohen cut in, offering a partial explanation. "Dobby's their house-elf, so it assumed I was in cahoots with Lucius Malfoy."
"You went to the Malfoy's?!" Ron yelped. "Why? Their family's the worst—my dad even got into a fight with Lucius last summer…"
"Because I'm technically half a Burke," Cohen said, rubbing his face. "It's not weird to get an invite. The Burke family's down to two living members: an old guy in prison and my mom. Since my uncle's locked up, my mom's the actual owner of all the Burke inheritance. But she doesn't deal with purebloods, so Mr. Malfoy reached out to me, her adopted kid."
"You're a rich kid too?!" Ron wailed. "I'd trade Fred and George for your fancy life any day."
"I bet Fred and George have thought about trading little Ronnie for a rich-kid upgrade more than once," Cohen teased.
"Shut up," Fred said, popping up out of nowhere behind them.
"We love little Ronnie," George added, bouncing out from behind Fred. "But…"
"If someone offered ten Sickles, we'd hand him over," Fred said with a straight face.
"I'm only worth ten Sickles to you?!" Ron roared at Fred and George.
"Your real value's probably lower," George said sagely. "Prices are always higher than what merchants actually think something's worth. So, how much would you sell us for?"
"Ten Knuts," Ron shot back.
"That stings, little bro," Fred said.
"Both of us together, only worth twenty Knuts," George said, feigning heartbreak.
"Buy one, get one free," Ron added.
"Little Ronnie's sulking now," Fred said, ruffling Ron's hair. "Alright, alright, we're not here to sell you off."
"Family's not for sale, no matter the price," George said.
"We just came back to grab some Filibuster Fireworks. There's a Gryffindor victory celebration by the lake tonight—fireworks and all. If you don't want to rot in the dorms, come join us. We'll set some off and maybe tease the giant squid. It loves watching fireworks from the shallows," Fred said, hauling a box of their prized Filibuster Fireworks from a corner of the common room.
Those water-activated fireworks were always a hit.
"Family's worth way more than Galleons…" Harry said wistfully after Fred and George left.
He wasn't wrong. If he could trade money for family, he'd give up every last Potter vault in Gringotts.
"But house-elves don't usually get freed by wizards," Hermione said, frowning. "After you and Dumbledore mentioned them last time, Harry, I looked it up in the library. They only get freedom if their wizard master gives them clothes."
"Dobby said Cohen freed it," Harry replied. "But it didn't explain how—"
"I bought it," Cohen said simply.
"But doesn't that just make it a slave trade?" Hermione asked, incredulous.
"Then how else am I supposed to free a house-elf from a pureblood wizard family?" Cohen said, schooling her. "Beat Mr. Malfoy to his knees and toss his clothes at Dobby?"
"That's such a weird mental image," Ron said, his face scrunching up.
(End of Chapter)