Chapter 63: DEMONIC GU MASTER SPOTTED
XUAN YUAN DIVINE PHEASANT (IT'S GIVING RAINBOW CHICKEN GOD ARC)
The jungle was Ohio levels of humid, and Bai Ning Bing was malding harder than a League player in promos.
Fang Yuan, leaning against a tree like a sigma male: "We need to kill that lava crocodile king."
Bai Ning Bing, side-eyeing the three-story-tall croc: "Bro, that thing has:*
Lava Explosion Gu (Rank 3 AoE nuke)
Flame Stomach Gu (Rank 3 defense)
Accumulating Ash Gu (Rank 3 heal)
We're NOT built for this."
Fang Yuan, unfazed: "Skill issue. We'll bait another beast king to fight it."
SCOUTING MONTAGE (IT'S GIVING NPC SIDE QUESTS)
White Ape Territory: Sigma old ape leading a gang of monkes. Too fast, would clap us mid-run.
Rotten Swamp: Poison-Swallowing Toad (Rank 4). Heals by eating poison. Would unalive us in 0.2 sec.
Frenzy Needle Bee Hive: Bees that ignore armor. Literal nightmare fuel.
Bai Ning Bing, exhausted: "We're COOKED. No targets."
Fang Yuan: "Patience. Luck is a skill."
ENTER: XUAN YUAN DIVINE PHEASANT (RAINBOW BOSS MUSIC STARTS)
BOOM.
The sky LITERALLY CRACKED OPEN as a giant rainbow chicken descended like a divine rizz god.
Size: Mountain-tier.
Feathers: RGB gaming setup.
Crown: Golden sigma male grindset.
Bai Ning Bing, jaw dropped: "WHAT THE SUS—"
Fang Yuan: "My guy, that's a myriad beast king. We're LEAVING."
The pheasant one-tapped the lava croc, ate its insides like a buffet, then moved on to clap the white apes.
Twitch Chat:
🌈 "RAINBOW CHICKEN OP PLS NERF"
💀 "Bro really just speedran the food chain"
🐊 "RIP lava croc, you were too sexy for this world"
LOOT ARC (IT'S GIVING POST-RAID DISAPPOINTMENT)
Fang Yuan and Bai Ning Bing sneak back to the crime scene.
Lava Croc: Reduced to a hollow shell.
Flame Stomach Gu: Shattered.
Accumulating Ash Gu: Gone.
Bai Ning Bing, copium overdose: "At least we got some croc meat…"
Fang Yuan: "Three months of food. Sigma win."
BEE HIVE HEIST (IT'S GIVING FAILED BANK ROBBERY)
The duo stumble upon the wrecked bee hive.
Bai Ning Bing, munching on hive fragments: "Tastes like honeycomb cereal—"
BUZZZZZZ.
Frenzy Needle Bee Swarm: "WHO TOUCHED OUR HOUSE?!"
Panic ensues.
Fang Yuan: Books it like a Tarkov rat.
Bai Ning Bing: Tanks the bees like a malding femcel.
Sky Canopy Gu? USELESS. The bees pierce through like it's paper.
Bai Ning Bing, bleeding and screaming: "FANG YUAN, YOU BASTARD—"
Fang Yuan: "JUMP IN THE LAKE!"
LAKE ESCAPE (IT'S GIVING SUBWAY SURFERS)
They dive in, bees chase like Ohio cops.
Bai Ning Bing, gasping for air on the other side: "I HATE THIS PLACE."
Fang Yuan, noticing campfire ashes: "Shhh. Humans were here."
DEMONIC GU MASTER SHOWDOWN (IT'S GIVING PSYCHO FARMER ARC)
Fang Yuan, leaning against a tree like a sigma male: "We found traces of a demonic Gu Master."
Bai Ning Bing, side-eyeing the campfire ashes: "Bro, that's a lone wolf. If we fight, it's clappin' time."
Fang Yuan: "She's injured. Python poison. She's on her last legs."
STALKING MONTAGE (IT'S GIVING PREDATOR VS. PREY)
Day 1: Found burnt wood. Sigma farmer energy detected.
Day 3: Discovered python skeleton. Girlboss got clapped.
Day 5: Traced blood trails. She's malding harder than a League player.
Bai Ning Bing, excited: "Let's jump her!"
Fang Yuan: "Patience. Let the poison cook her."
THE CAVE CONFRONTATION (IT'S GIVING TRAP HOUSE)
Demonic Female Gu Master (Chen Cui Hua): "I SEE YOU, LITTLE SHITS!"
Bai Ning Bing, triggered: "OH, YOU WANNA GO?!"
Fight ensues.
Bai Ning Bing: Sigma femcel rage.
Chen Cui Hua: Plants Charred Thunder Potatoes (literal landmines).
BOOM.
Bai Ning Bing, yeeted into the stratosphere: "WHAT THE GYATT—"
Fang Yuan, watching like a disappointed dad: "Skill issue."
SIGMA RETREAT (IT'S GIVING 500 IQ PLAY)
Fang Yuan, fake coward mode activated: "Let's leave. Too dangerous."
Bai Ning Bing, confused but playing along: "FINE. But I'll be back!"
Twitch Chat:
💀 "Fang Yuan's acting skills >>> Oscar winners"
🐍 "Bro really playing 4D chess with a farmer"
🔥 "Bai Ning Bing's villain arc delayed AGAIN"
THE PLAN (IT'S GIVING STALKER SIMULATOR)
Fang Yuan's Sigma Analysis:
Chen Cui Hua = Farmer-turned-GM. Zero rizz.
Charred Thunder Potatoes = Her only defense.
Poison = She's on a timer.
Strategy:
Surveil her with Earth Communication Ear Grass.
Wait for her to weaken.
Loot her corpse like a Walmart on Black Friday.
Bai Ning Bing, grudgingly impressed: "…Fine. But I'm taking first pick of the Gu."
CHEN CUI HUA'S COPING ARC
Chen Cui Hua, sweating in her cave:
"Those two left… right?
…Right?
…I'll wait three days."
(She did not, in fact, wait three days.)