Analyn
I loved it, I loved the look on their faces when they saw me. It was all as I planned, as I dreamed of.Carolyn's face was red, she turned pale, I knew she must be feeling threatened, her guards must be up now. And Adrian, couldn't take his eyes off me, he even went after me. That was not actually how I imagined. I never thought he'd run after me and I could see the expression of his face, it didn't spell out anger or disgust, it spelt out enthusiasm, why? Or was I the one overthinking ? Was I the one seeing things? I must certainly be overthinking, Adrian must certainly be shocked to see me.
"Why did you pretend not to know him?" Nanny had asked when I told her.
Why did I pretend? Even I didn't know, it was not part of the plan. When I saw him yesterday, all I could think of was the good times.
Adrian hadn't changed and if he had, I'd say he looked better, hotter.I noticed his abs, biceps were more muscular, manly, could he have been boxing? And then, his hair, he changed his hairstyle, he looked more handsome. And when he did those words to me, I couldn't help admiring his perfect lips, same one he used for my first kiss three years back. I found myself falling again for him yesterday, so I just had to pretend so I could get away from him quickly, I couldn't show him my weaknesses. Analyn, this was not the plan, I was not supposed to still find him attractive, I was supposed to be furious, be mad and find him unattractive after all he said and did to me. My phone rang and I quickly picked up mama's call.
"Analyn, what is this I heard? You're chickening out? You couldn't even face him?" She snapped from the other end.
"Mama, no, that wasn't it, I….," I replied quickly.
I could hear her give a sigh before speaking again.
"Analyn, I'm sorry, but try to understand me, those people are manipulative, he did it before, he would certainly do it again. You can't afford to show them your weaknesses, they made you go through hell and all they deserve, each one of them is revenge, revenge Analyn."
Mama was right, Adrian had deceived me once, he could stilll do it again. I wouldn't be alive if life hadn't given me a second chance, and this chance must not be wasted. Adrian was a monster, there was no way I was going to fall for him again, never.
Monday morning it was, I had a lot of work planned out for today. Firstly, I had to design an anniversary gown for the First Lady and then I had meetings scheduled for today. We had just opened a new branch in another state yet again and so there was a lot of arrangements for today. Those days, I was never bothered about having a lot to do, I never had a lot to do. It was Carolyn who always got busy, not me. But staying with mama had taught me a lot. I had to move from comfort zone to work zone. Mama always told me the easiest way to get work done is to start now. So I just have to get started, right away.I took out my sketching paper and pen.
"Analyn, you've got to think, think of a new design, something no one have ever thought of, something Adrian would never had imagined you created," I always told myself anytime I was about to start designing. Now, where do I start from?I was trying my best to concentrate on the new design, I finally got the right theme for the dress, red blossoms garden.
But then, I couldn't help thinking about what was on the net this morning about Adrian. He called off his engagement with his fiancée. It wasn't supposed to be my business, but again, I couldn't help asking why? Why now? Why didn't he do so since? Just two nights ago he saw me and now, he canceled his engagement? Does he still….Analyn…. What is wrong with you? Mama has already spoken to you, you just can't show your weakness, I told myself.
Why can't I just stop thinking about Adrian? How can my plans come through if I still care about his life?
I stood and walked towards the glass wall, I loved my new office, it was just like the one in Chicago and New York in terms of design, with a glass wall giving a perfect view of the city from a very high horizon. This was what I always did anything I was working and lacked inspiration, take a view of the city. There was this miracle attached to it, the bustling calmness had a way of inspiring me.
My new assistant, Carmen, walked into the office and I turned back to look at her.
"Yes Carmen?"
"Madam, someone is here to see you."
"Who?"
"Mr Wayne"
Adrian was here to see me?
"Let him in." I took a deep breath as my gaze shifted to the tall building opposite ours.
You've got this Analyn. I heard the door open. I could feel my heart beat faster and could feel the goosebumps on my arms. Thank goodness I was wearing a long sleeved gown.
"Analyn," Adrian said. I didn't look back, my gaze was still on that building.
"You're alive, Lyn, Analyn, it's really you, you're alive," he said when he was near me but still I didn't make any move.
"I know you remember me, I know you're just pretending. I know I hurt you so much and you wouldn't want to talk to me but…" he was saying before I cut in.
"Yes Adrian, I am alive." I said then finally turned back to look at him. He was wearing a blue suit, blue suit again? My gaze rested on my desk, anywhere but on Adrian, not on Adrian.
"I am alive, Adrian and of course I remember you, including the hurtful things you said and did to me." I said gnashing my teeth with my eyes squinted.
"I thought you didn't make it, the car was completely damaged after the accident. Everyone thought you never survived it, that you might had fallen into the sea," he was saying.
"Adrian, if you're here to talk about the past, then I don't have the time for it. I am way busy."
"For three years, I thought you were gone, that I will never see you again. I thought I would never get a chance to make up for all the wrong things I did to you, but now life gave me a second chance." he said, I could feel his voice coarse. He had been crying.
"I gave you everything, I trusted you, but what did you do, Adrian? Three years has passed, do you think I still haven't moved on, that I'm still hovering in the past?"
"You may have moved on, but I haven't." He said.
"Adrian, I really am generous. I still let you stand here talking to me after all you did to me. Are you sure you shouldn't be scared?"
"I did a lot to you, I caused you so much pain. Trust me, I regret everything I did to you. Scared? that's the last thing I could ever be. I'm not scared because I know you, Analyn. You're kind hearted, you're good. I am the monster, I'm the evil one. All I want now in this life is to make up for all I did. I'll do anything to write my wrongs."
"That was the old Analyn, she's gone. You don't know me, Adrian.You don't know how much I hate you, how much I want to see you in pain, how much I am so badly want you to pay," I screamed.
"I don't care. I don't care if you hate me. I don't care if you despise me, but I would not back down until I gain your forgiveness. Life did not give me a second chance to lose you again, I would earn your forgiveness, earn your trust, and earn your love, because I still love you." He said and fueled the anger inside me. Earn my love, my foot.
"Get out, get out, you don't know me. You can never earn my forgiveness. I will never forgive you, let alone trusting you, never in my dreams, never. And you know what, get ready for my revenge. I will take everything away from you, everything you've ever worked hard for, everything."
"Go ahead, Analyn, after all, I am already meaningless. If doing those things would make you feel better, go ahead, but I would not rest until you forgive me," he said, and for a moment, I considered it a threat.
"Mark my words, I would not rest until you forgive me."
"Get out before I call security, get out."
My palms became sweaty. He would not rest till I forgive him? Then good luck waiting forever.