Naruto walked out of the Hokage Building, and the Sannin looked at him eagerly.
Naruto grinned, giving a thumbs-up. "Fixed!"
"Hell yeah!" Jiraiya cheered, leaping into the air. "I'm officially a Jōnin now! Hahaha!"
Even Orochimaru, usually reserved, had a glint of satisfaction in his eyes.
Tsunade, without warning, smacked Naruto on the head. "Come on! Time to drink, wahaha!"
"Hey! Hey! That's too much! I'm your team leader Jōnin now! Show me some respect!" Naruto's complaints faded as Tsunade dragged him away by the collar.
Jiraiya and Orochimaru exchanged glances.
"Hey, Orochimaru! What's with that smug look? Believe it or not, I'll smash your face in!" Jiraiya snapped, waving his fists wildly.
"Heh~" Orochimaru chuckled darkly.
"Bastard! Just wait till I invent a jutsu that'll end you!" Jiraiya fumed, his rage only escalating.
The two bickered as they trailed behind Naruto and Tsunade.
At a yakiniku restaurant, Naruto stared at Tsunade in disbelief as she poured him a large glass of sake.
"Tsunade, as a lady, shouldn't you be more, I don't know... refined?"
"Huh? Naruto~ what are you saying~?" Tsunade leaned in, her tone dripping with mock sweetness.
Naruto flinched. "Nope! Nothing! Not a word!"
WHAM! Tsunade smacked him again, making his head ring.
Jiraiya and Orochimaru exchanged knowing looks, sighing. They knew the pattern—Naruto poked the bear, the bear mauled him.
That night, Naruto and Tsunade walked side by side, heading home.
"Listen up, Tsunade! I'm a man who's going to be Hokage one day! That's why you have to become Hokage in the future!"
"Hah? You want to be Hokage, so why do I have to be?" Tsunade raised a brow.
"Tch. You wouldn't get it." Naruto waved a hand dismissively. "The Hokage's wife is—"
Before he could finish, Tsunade clamped a hand over his mouth.
Behind them, Jiraiya, completely drunk, was sobbing into Orochimaru's shoulder. The latter shoved him away with an expression of utter disgust.
Life as a ninja in Konoha was so simple. And yet, so chaotic.
The next morning, Naruto woke up, staring at the ceiling.
Pillow? Check.
Sheets? Check.
Lack of a wild night? Damn it.
"Tch, no drunken fun," Naruto grumbled, annoyed.
He climbed onto the roof, finding Jiraiya peeping over the edge at the women's bathhouse.
"Oi, Pervy Sage. Let's go 'gather research' elsewhere."
Before they could sneak away, Tsunade appeared out of nowhere, looking strangely... bashful.
"Naruto, my grandma wants to see you."
Naruto blinked. "Huh? Since when do you blush? Did you take the wrong meds?"
Jiraiya barely had time to react before Naruto received another massive lump on his head and was dragged away.
"Grandma!" Naruto greeted respectfully, bowing before Uzumaki Mito.
Mito nodded in satisfaction before waving a hand. "You, get out."
Naruto blinked, confused.
"Didn't you hear? My grandma told you to leave," Tsunade smirked.
"I meant you," Mito said, narrowing her eyes at Tsunade.
Tsunade pouted before leaving, but not before giving Naruto a knowing look, as if to say, 'Good luck, sucker.'
As soon as the door shut, Mito's expression turned sharp.
"You are not who you appear to be."
Naruto stiffened before exhaling. "Yeah. How'd you know?"
Mito chuckled. "The fox in your belly told me. The Uzumaki clan's sensory abilities are unparalleled. Besides, having two Nine-Tails at once is a bit... unusual."
"Tch. That damn furball..." Naruto muttered.
Mito studied him. "Did something happen in the future?"
Naruto scoffed. "Only the usual—got jumped by a bunch of cowardly bastards. Took five of them out, though."
Mito smiled. "I see. I will help you form a contract with Kurama. You'd do well to befriend him."
Naruto sighed. He once dreamed of yanking the fox out of him, but this world's system had its limits.
Mito continued. "I do not know what happens to the Senju clan in your time, but Hiruzen was trained by Tobirama. He's cunning, but not as capable. The Senju's power is dwindling. I fear that our bloodline will fade."
Naruto remained silent.
"I will merge the clan into Konoha. The Senju will cease to be a ninja clan, but I hope it will at least survive. Tsunade cares about you deeply. I do not know your circumstances, but I hope you will protect her."
"Even if you hadn't asked, I would have done it," Naruto said, serious for once.
Mito handed him a scroll. "This contains the Uzumaki's sealing arts. I see our blood in you. I will not ask who you truly are, but carry on our legacy."
Naruto bowed. "Thank you, Grandma Mito."
Mito merely waved him off. "Go."
Outside, Tsunade was waiting.
"What'd my grandma say?" she asked curiously.
Naruto smirked. "She betrothed you to me. I'm picking you up tomorrow."
Tsunade turned red. "Get lost!"
Naruto returned home, only to be greeted with a familiar annoyance.
"Hey, onigiri is back!"
Naruto twitched. Six years, and they were still calling him that?!
His father—Minato Namikaze—approached, looking like Naruto with slightly neater hair. "Brother Naruto, you're back early today."
Naruto sighed. His own father calling him 'brother' never got less weird.
"Cough! No missions today. What about you? Shouldn't you be at school?"
Minato rubbed his neck. "Lord Hokage asked me to help someone adjust to Konoha. I just got back from shopping with her."
Naruto's eyes widened. "Oh? Keep at it, kid! Lock her down early!"
Minato blushed. "We're just friends!"
Naruto smirked. "Yeah, yeah. Try turning that 'friend' into a wife."
Escaping the awkwardness, Naruto decided he needed a new place. Hmm… where did Kurenai's father live again?
At the housing district, he spotted a familiar face—Yuhi Shinku, Kurenai's father.
"Yo! Shinku! Selling property?"
Shinku sighed. "Yeah. My wife wants a bigger place for when we have a kid. My instructor's salary isn't enough, so I'm selling our extra house."
Naruto's eyes gleamed. "How much? I'm buying it."
Shinku raised an eyebrow. "That eager, huh?"
"Ahem. Nothing shady. Let's just seal the deal."
Minutes later, Naruto walked away with the deed, cackling like a madman.
"Heh. Now I own my future father-in-law's old house..."
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