KAEL
It always crept up on me.
The date.
No matter how far I thought I'd buried it, no matter how loud the world got... when it got close, I felt it in my bones. The cold settled in first. Then the noise in my head. Then the guilt.
Then the fucking nightmares.
I hadn't slept. Not really. The few hours I managed were drugged and drenched in half-formed memories of blood, smoke, and Ivan's smile turning to ash.
I sat in the dark again. My penthouse windows spilled city light across the floor, but it didn't touch me. It never did.
I was back to drinking like I had something to forget. Or like I had nothing left to hold on to. Same thing.
Erin's little notebook, her big bright plans... she'd pulled me out of the pit for a second. She reminded me of him. In her voice. Her mannerisms. The way she leaned in when she talked, like every word was urgent.
But I wasn't him anymore. And she wasn't enough to fix that.
Nothing was.
