[ And so, Kazuma's new partner was significantly shortened, yet it was still a fine weapon, deserving of a cool name.
"Muramasa? Masamune? Kotetsu?" Kazuma pondered for ages but couldn't settle on anything suitable.
Just then, Aqua called out to the group, claiming she had found a suitable quest for them: slaying Lizard Runners! Spring was approaching, and the lizards were entering their breeding season!
Massive hordes of male runners would gather around the Queen Runner, vying for mating rights, and the swiftest male would be crowned King and pair with the Queen!
Upon hearing this, Kazuma extended a finger to silence the guild counter lady, dramatically raising his newly acquired sword.
"Hush. No matter how many monsters show up, they're no match for me and my new partner!"
"Right… uh… Kiku-ichimonji? Kogarasu-maru?" Clearly, Kazuma was still indecisive about his new partner's name.
As Kazuma fretted, Megumin suddenly interjected, "Chunchunmaru! That sword's name is Chunchunmaru!"
Kazuma rejected it without a second thought. "How can it have such a bizarre name? As my beloved sword, it must have a cool name…"
But it was too late. The enchanted talisman affixed to the hilt had already seared that name into existence!
Soon, the group arrived on the plains, Kazuma dejectedly holding Chunchunmaru. "I'm telling you… What if this sword defeats the Demon King? The legendary hero's holy sword, Chunchunmaru, would be etched onto plaques and displayed in museums!" ]
[ .....]
〜Projection of All Worlds〜
"Chunchunmaru, what a splendid name! You can tell just by hearing it that it's brimming with bloodlust… chuckles, my apologies, I couldn't hold it in!"
"Regarding the name Chunchunmaru, I suspect the Demon King would have the biggest objection, wouldn't he? If he were to be defeated by this sword, he'd truly be nailed to the pillar of shame."
Tears welled up in everyone's eyes. After all this time just slacking off, you actually remember you're supposed to defeat the Demon King? Then hurry up and get out of the starter village already, you useless hero!
Hiding under the kotatsu all day, never stepping outside—we've never seen such an unmotivated hero!
.....
〜Type-Moon World, Fifth Holy Grail War Worldline〜
Observing Kazuma, who seemed utterly inept at naming, Shirou Emiya offered a faint smile.
"Truly, Kazuma, a man from the land of the rising sun, transported to another world. The names he comes up with are all Japan's most famous swords!"
Rin Tohsaka, however, seemed rather indifferent.
"Is naming really that difficult? If all else fails, you could just call it 'Happy of Fire' or 'Frostmourne' or something!"
Even if Chunchunmaru sounds a bit low-tier, as long as you can defeat the Demon King, what does the name matter? Wouldn't people still admire you?
Illya closed the manga she was reading about a hero's adventures and quipped,
"Even if he defeats the Demon King, it won't be called a Holy Sword… because such a short sword is usually used for seppuku."
She had thought Chunchunmaru was just a temporary weapon for Kazuma. She never imagined he would actually consider… taking a sword crafted in the starter village to fight the Demon King?
Moreover, what hero fights the Demon King with a short sword instead of a Holy Sword? Just imagining the scene, she found it somewhat… squalid.
.....
[ Once everyone was ready, Kazuma laid out his plan. First, he would snipe the Lizard King and Queen. Without those two, the lizard horde would disperse!
If that failed, Darkness would step in to tank, and Kazuma would attempt another snipe.
If that also failed, Megumin's Explosion magic would wipe them all out, with Aqua, the healer, providing all-around support!
Everyone listened and agreed it was a perfect plan. Soon, Kazuma, perched in a tree, spotted a horde of identical-looking lizards charging towards them!
It was then that Kazuma realized the most critical part of the plan had a flaw: while the female lizards were easy to distinguish, the males all looked identical, making it impossible to tell which one was the King!
"Hey! Aqua, which one is the King?"
Aqua placed her hand on her forehead, gazing into the distance, and uttered a profoundly wise statement: "The one that looks the most magnificent must be the King."
Kazuma began to berate himself. "I'm such a fool for asking you!" ]
[ .....]
〜Projection of All Worlds〜
"The plan was perfect. Next time, don't make a plan. It just goes to show that imagination is beautiful, but reality is cruel! The plan fell apart right from the start."
"Child, you're overthinking it! This is reality. Witness the gap between ideals and reality."
Everyone wondered if they had woken up on the wrong side of the bed. They actually saw Kazuma asking an idiot… Had Kazuma's intelligence dropped after spending so much time with the Goddess of Wisdom?
If you can't distinguish the King, then just take out the obvious Queen! Without the Queen, what would these male lizards even be fighting for?
.....
[ The Goddess of Wisdom, Aqua, suddenly had a brilliant idea: "Oh right, the King is the fastest runner, isn't he! Let's use monster-gathering magic to attract them. The fastest one to get here will be the King!"
Kazuma, realizing what was happening, didn't even have time to stop her before Aqua cast a mass taunt spell into the sky: "FORCE FIRE—!!"
The lizards running in the distance let out sharp shrieks, charging even more ferociously towards Aqua!
Kazuma, nocking an arrow, angrily cursed at Aqua, "You idiot! Are you never satisfied unless you cause trouble every single time?!"
"Why are you suddenly saying that? I was just trying to help, don't be mad! Anyway, it'll probably be like always, I'll definitely be bullied to tears by those runners!"
"I know, it's always like this! Kill me, just kill me already!" Aqua began to shout in self-pity, flopping onto the ground in a starfish pose, constantly bouncing and throwing a tantrum.
Seeing this idiotic goddess, Kazuma was utterly exasperated. He decided to rely on himself, using his exceptionally high luck stat to directly kill a suspected King lizard with a single arrow.
But the lizards only grew more frantic. If the King was killed first, the other lizards would believe they had a chance to become the new King. So, if they were to kill any, they had to kill the Queen first.
Facing such an overwhelming number of monsters, Megumin stepped forward. Her Explosion magic was perfectly suited for this: "Leave it to me! Explosion…"
However, nothing happened. Because that morning, when calling Kazuma to leave, Kazuma had used Drain Touch to absorb her magic, leaving her MP bar insufficient.
"Hahaha, bring it on!" Darkness, with her maxed-out defense, was utterly fearless.
In an instant, she, along with Aqua, was trampled underfoot by the countless Lizard Runners. ]
[ .....]
〜Projection of All Worlds〜
"Daily friendly fire. Aqua's taunt is indeed max level. A goddess-tier taunt, but why would a priestess have mass taunt?!"
"After watching, all I can say is, what kind of divine teammates does Kazuma have? I can almost see them racking up massive debt already…"
Everyone burst into laughter at Aqua's self-pitying antics. A perfectly good goddess had been driven to become a neurotic mess, even becoming quite skilled at the monster-slaying process.
The problem is, Aqua, you're a goddess! Can't you maintain some image? Throwing such an undignified tantrum, rolling around in self-pity—how did even you become so grotesque?!
.....
〜Delicious in Dungeon World〜
As a seasoned adventurer and gourmet, Laios felt that Kazuma's plan actually had no inherent flaws, but…
"The plan was quite good; unfortunately, the teammates didn't keep up and got him into trouble."
He couldn't comprehend why Aqua, this genius goddess, would directly cast a taunt skill on herself. He could only attribute it to her brilliant mind.
Every sudden flash of world-shaking wisdom from her was unfathomable. No normal person would think that way; truly worthy of being the Goddess of Wisdom!
"The mage can't cast magic, the priestess suddenly taunts, the front-liner is useless… only the archer is still dealing damage?"
Marcille suddenly realized the importance of brains. As a mage, Megumin, constantly monitoring her own magic power is crucial!
Even Kazuma's contingency plans, in case of failure, became useless due to his teammates' blunders. Thinking about it carefully, it seemed no one in the party was actually useful.
〜Type-Moon World, ██████ Worldline〜
In the 7th singularity, Absolute Demonic Front: Babylonia—
"…If I said Aqua isn't a goddess, would you believe me?"
Ishtar's mouth twitched slightly as she watched Aqua's grotesque self-pity, attempting to kick her out of the ranks of goddesses.
Sensing some amusement, the Wise King Gilgamesh looked at Ishtar playfully.
"What do you think?"
"No WAY!!"
Ishtar frantically tried to deny this fact.
"If I'm a goddess alongside her, I feel like I'll turn into an idiot just like her!"
While she sometimes drops the ball, she certainly doesn't want to become a foolish goddess like Aqua!
It's truly hard to imagine what kind of people follow the Axis Cult, worshipping an imbecile like Aqua… and this thing actually has believers?!
.....