"Educational Decree No. 23: The Ministry of Magic appoints Dolores Umbridge as the High Inquisitor of Hogwarts."
At the Slytherin table in the Great Hall, Daphne muttered the decree's content while grumbling about Umbridge's weekend assembly:
"Dragging us here so early on a day off—what does she want?"
She grabbed the piece of parchment distributed to everyone on the table and immediately turned pale:
"What is this monstrosity? A timetable? No... a schedule? 'New Term, New Plan'?"
Daphne's eyes quickly scanned the parchment, her face growing paler by the second. She clutched Jane Yu's arm tightly:
"Up at 6 AM with only 20 minutes for washing up—is she insane? And what is this 6:20 morning run?"
Rubbing her eyes to confirm she wasn't dreaming or seeing things, she tightened her grasp on Jane's arm:
"Am I seeing this right? Why do we have added morning and evening study sessions? We're supposed to have 12 hours of classes a day?"
"Uh..." Jane was at a loss for words. Her gaze darted nervously. "You ask me... uh... well... I have no idea either..."
Soon, the little snakes who kept trickling in began voicing their shock one after another.
"I feel like I'm genuinely terminally ill," Blaise muttered, his face almost blank like Theodore's. "Cardiac arrest, blood flow stopped—am I about to meet Merlin?"
"Insane! Totally insane!" Draco practically jumped from his seat, stammering in disbelief. "Two runs a day but only one Quidditch practice session, and classes don't end until 10 PM? This—this—"
Even Pansy Parkinson, who had always supported Umbridge for granting them privileges, shifted uneasily as if her seat had pins. Crabbe and Goyle's chewing slowed noticeably.
Jane cast her gaze across the other three tables—
Almost everyone wore the same bitter expression, whether dazed, fearful, shocked, confused, or angry. The buzzing chatter filled the hall, and over at the Gryffindor table, Harry's glare at Umbridge practically screamed "I hate you."
She took a deep breath, covering her face with her hands to hide her somber expression.
She felt she must never reveal those drunken words—
Or she might not see the sunrise tomorrow.
The students' discontented murmurs were soon drowned out by Umbridge's saccharine voice.
"Welcome! Welcome, students, and of course, my fellow professors, to my inauguration ceremony!"
In the vast hall, Umbridge, dressed head-to-toe in pink and smiling brighter than the sun, spoke in an overly sweet, girlish tone:
"I'm delighted to announce that due to the declining teaching quality and credentials at Hogwarts in recent years—"
"Out of care for you, the blossoms of the wizarding world, the Ministry of Magic has decided to send me—"
"Dolores Umbridge, as High Inquisitor, to reform the school's teaching practices!"
The applause was sparse and lasted less than three seconds before fading into silence.
On the professors' bench, every faculty member wore a grim expression, clapping lightly without making any sound.
"Alright." Umbridge wasn't embarrassed by the lack of enthusiasm; her smile remained intact. "I trust you've all seen the 'New Term, New Plan' schedule. You must be looking forward to it, aren't you?"
The hall erupted in protests, with Harry's sharp voice from the Gryffindor table standing out:
"I don't think anyone's looking forward to it. This is Hogwarts, not Azkaban."
"Such a pity, Mr. Potter, for speaking without raising your hand," Umbridge pouted her pink-lipsticked lips. "Perhaps it's because you haven't felt the joy of morning runs. Let's add some extra laps for you to experience it fully so you won't question the Ministry's professional teaching."
The protests in the hall quieted down, leaving Umbridge smiling contentedly.
"Seems like there are no further questions. Let's proceed to learn about some new educational decrees."
"Educational Decree No. 24: The High Inquisitor has the authority to establish new student regulations."
She waved her wand, and line after line of bold red text appeared in the air:
[Hogwarts Student Regulations (1995-1996 Edition)
Article 1: To maintain the normal order of teaching, learning, and living at Hogwarts and promote students' healthy development, these regulations are hereby established.
Article 2: Students violating the regulations will face penalties ranging from 1. Warning, 2. Deduction of points, 3. Detention, to 4. Expulsion, depending on the severity.
Article 3: Penalties will be imposed for the following behaviors:
1. Wearing attire other than house robes (standard wizarding attire), dressing inappropriately during school hours;
2. Using prohibited spells or magical items;
3. Carrying jewelry or accessories, having excessively long nails;
4. Failing to adhere to the schedule, being late, leaving early, or refusing to attend;
5. Playing music during study hours; playing non-educational toys or video games;
6. Reading books written by non-wizards or half-human, half-creature authors;
7. Engaging in improper physical contact between male and female wizards, maintaining a distance less than eight inches;
8. Conducting suspicious or illegal activities within the school;
9. Disrespecting professors, speaking out of turn, or interrupting lectures;
...]
The regulations listed over fifty items, covering almost every aspect of life.
The protests grew louder, with every face tense enough to devour Umbridge whole.
"We're practically imprisoned!" Daphne clutched her necklace, her face drained of color. "Only allowed to wear uniforms, must tie ponytails, no jewelry..."
"Video games are banned!" Draco shrieked, clutching his face. "I'm telling my father—how dare she ruin our commercial ventures!"
"Did I hear wrong?" Blaise frowned despite his short haircut. "Male and female wizards must maintain an eight-inch distance—does that mean no dating?"
"Why ban non-wizard or half-creature books?" Theodore expressed utter confusion. "Does knowledge come with bloodlines?"
The anger at the Slytherin table was building, seemingly still charging.
But the other three tables' fury bars were already maxed out. If they had a basket of rotten eggs, Umbridge's face would already be covered in yolks and whites.
"We're humans, not livestock!" came a shout from the Gryffindor table. "Classes from dawn till dusk with no breaks! This violates student rights—"
"Why ban video games!" "Why make everyone dress the same!" "Why forbid relationships!" "Step down!"
The Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff tables joined in the protests, and soon even the Slytherin table joined with jeers.
Umbridge's smile finally faded, and she amplified her voice with magic:
"Silence! If I hear any more questioning of the management style, you'll all be held back and won't graduate!"
"All these reforms are authorized by the Ministry of Magic to improve your grades and ensure sustainable development—"
She waved her thick, stubby hand in the air, forcefully announcing:
"The new schedule and student regulations will officially take effect tomorrow!"
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