Silence.
Absolute, stunned silence. Until—
Nala's jaw dropped so fast it was a wonder it didn't hit the carpet.
"Are...Are those gems in their butts?!"
"No, they're growing crystals! Like...like some kind of magical butt-fruit!" Skadi leaned forward, tail stiff, eyes wide as saucers. "Do they sprout on their own? Do you water them? How long have they been cultivating those?!"
Julie made a strangled noise somewhere between a laugh and a scream before saying,
"Cassius. Explain. Now."
Aisha just stared, mouth open, one finger pointing accusingly. "You—you stuck shiny rocks up their—"
"...Butt plugs."
Cassius supplied helpfully, strolling forward like a proud jeweler displaying his finest work. He tapped the emerald in Portia's rear with one finger; it gave a soft, satisfying clack.
"High-quality crystal, enchanted for comfort and a little extra sparkle. I gave one to each of them the week I left for the expedition. Told them to keep them safe and warm until I got back."
