[Everyone, this just in—a massive horde of clones, believed to belong to Replica Ricky, is now marching…]
[As you can see in the footage, there are—]
[That's not a sandstorm, folks. That's thousands and thousands of—]
"Hey, y'all! This is Kitty reporting live from the sky—yeehaw!"
Suspended in a harness just outside an open helicopter door, Kitty from ABC-ZBN had one foot braced inside and the other dangling in the air as chaos raged below.
"Y'all see that down there? That's the pile-up where it all started—Replica Ricky allegedly slid right onto the highway with a hostage in tow! Dozens are feared dead or critically injured, but the madness hasn't stopped. No, sir! It's still unfolding, folks. There!"
She jabbed a finger toward the horizon, and her cameraman zoomed in on a swelling storm of dust.
