The kitchen smelled faintly of fresh coffee when I walked in. Killian was already there, scrolling on his tablet, a half-smile tugging at his lips. He looked up as soon as he noticed me.
"Morning," he said, his voice casual but warm.
"Morning." I moved toward the kettle, pouring myself tea instead of coffee. Even after all these months of being in the same house, there was still a polite space between us, a strange combination of familiarity and restraint. We weren't a real couple in the way people imagined when they heard the word marriage. This had been an arrangement, a merging of families for reasons.
But I wasn't blind. I'd seen the way his eyes lingered sometimes, the way he found excuses to be near me. And I knew how much that space between us was changing, slowly, day by day.
"You know Tim's competition is in three days," Killian said, setting the tablet down. "I was thinking… we could make a trip out of it. Stay a little longer."
I raised an eyebrow. "You want to turn it into a holiday?"
He nodded, watching my reaction. "Why not? We could use the time away. It doesn't have to be anything extravagant, just a few days where we're not… here."
I understood what it meant. "That doesn't sound bad. Where were you thinking?"
Killian leaned forward slightly, his tone more tentative than usual. "Somewhere near the competition venue. We could leave early, check in a day ahead, or stay after. It might be… nice."
It was the first time in a while I'd heard that hint of uncertainty in his voice, like he wasn't sure if I'd say yes. And maybe part of me wanted to say yes just to see him look relieved.
"Alright," I said. "Let's see what's out there."
We spent the next half-hour scrolling through his short list of options:
A quiet lake cabin, all wood and glass, surrounded by pines.
A sleek mountain lodge with spa access and panoramic views.
A coastal inn with a balcony overlooking the ocean.
The photos were so vivid that I could almost hear the soft lap of water against the lake's dock, smell the salt of the sea breeze.
"I like the lake cabin," I admitted. "It looks peaceful."
"But the coastal inn has a view you'd never forget," Killian countered with a faint smile. "You'd probably spend half the time out on the balcony."
I glanced at him, catching that softness in his eyes, not overbearing, not pushy, just… there. "We could debate this all day."
"Or," he said lightly, "we could flip a coin."
I smirked. "Dangerous. What if the coin betrays me?"
"Then maybe you will just have to trust me."
The words hung there a little longer than necessary, and I found myself looking away, pretending to scroll again. We were good at these small dances, saying something that almost meant more, then letting it pass.
By the time Amelia joined us, we were still undecided.
"Planning something exciting?" she asked, pouring herself coffee.
"We're going to Tim's competition," Killian said, "but we might stay longer."
"That's lovely," Amelia said warmly. "Which place?"
"We're still choosing," I said quickly.
Henry came in a few minutes later, catching the conversation. "If you're going to the lake, take fishing gear. Fresh catch for dinner, nothing better."
Killian chuckled. "We'll keep that in mind."
They were genuinely supportive, and I appreciated that. Still, I didn't tell them that part of me just wanted to get away so I could breathe without anyone watching me too closely.
Later that day, while Killian was in his office, I called Tim.
"How's training?" I asked.
"Exhausting," he admitted. "But I'm ready. You're still coming?"
"Of course. And Killian and I might stay a few extra days."
"That's good. You two could use it. Just… try to keep your mind on enjoying yourself."
I smiled faintly, though he couldn't see it. "I will. And don't worry — no one knows about… well, you know."
"Good," he said. "Let's keep it that way. At least for now."
That evening, Killian found me in the garden, sitting under the dim glow of the patio light.
"So," he said, hands in his pockets, "have you decided?"
"Coastal inn," I said without hesitation this time. "I like the idea of hearing the waves at night."
His lips curved into a small smile, the kind that didn't need words. "Good choice. I'll book it."
"Alright," I said, sipping my tea. "But I'm not sharing the balcony."
He laughed, shaking his head. "You'll change your mind."
Over the next couple of days, we prepared for the trip. Killian bought a travel bag he claimed was for me but was clearly for him to carry my things without admitting it. He also insisted I get something new to wear for the dinners during the competition.
I ended up choosing a soft blue dress that reminded me of the sea not because I needed it, but because the way his eyes lit up when I stepped out of the fitting room felt… different.
The night before we left, I found him on the balcony, looking out at the night sky.
"Are you ready for tomorrow?" I asked.
"Yeah," he said, turning toward me. "I think this trip will be good for us."
"For us?" I echoed, teasing lightly.
He hesitated for half a second before nodding. "Yeah. For us."
We stood there for a while, neither of us pushing the moment further. And yet, something unspoken seemed to pass between us,something that made the trip feel like more than just a trip.
The next morning, we left early. The road stretched ahead, the hum of the tires filling the quiet moments between our conversations.
In a few days, I'd be in the stands cheering for Tim. And maybe, just maybe, I'd start to see where this slow, cautious thing between Killian and me was going.
I was right, this trip will help me forget everything. For the first time, I will be able to be calm and relax. That is what I want too.