"Lad, how much longer are you going to remain there? Let's get moving already, shall we?"
"...?"
Hearing the unexpected sound of a small raspy voice, Gene opens his eyes slowly. Directly in front of his face, a bat tirelessly flaps its wings.
"I'm still alive? But how could that be possible? I thought I was drained for sure–"
Wait, am I now a zombie? No, I must have turned into an undead vampire!
"You must be my little bat buddy that's going to teach me the ways of the vampire. My body still feels, uh… dead so if you could teach me how to regenerate first that'd be swell."
Maybe this is my redemption–to live the rest of my life as an undead.
"Lad, you need to go easy on the vampire movies–I've had enough of this form!"
The bat claps his wings, transforming the scenery from a dark tunnel at nighttime to a colorful and serene palace. As the scenery changes, so does the bat, who transforms into his true form–the form of a god wearing shades.
"Hey, you're that dream god! Esper…Esponze…no, Esperian."
"Esperaunce, lad."
"Esperaunce, forgive me for misremembering. My mind isn't exactly stable right now…"
It's all starting to come back to me. Esperance made us come into this dream world in exchange for awakening Thena. So that means everything that I just experienced…was nothing more than a dream.
Just a dream…
Taking a moment to gather his thoughts, Gene clenches his fist, his body becomes stiff.
"No, I shouldn't delude myself into such a coping mechanism. Esperaunce, that wasn't just a random dream–it was me reliving my past. More specifically, the incident that haunts me to this day."
"You are quick on the uptake, lad. You are correct."
"So you looked into my heart just to make me dream of my traumatic burden…just for your entertainment? You forced me to suffer through that hell all over again all because I wanted to save my friend?!"
"Whoa lad, please calm down with the heated accusations. I won't deny that I do find pleasure in watching the dreams of others, including ones based on dark experiences–"
"Figures."
Sharply cutting him off, Gene turns his back towards Esperaunce, refusing to look at the god.
"Lad…Gene, please let me finish. Okay?"
"...are you seriously begging me, a mortal? Just ramble on, it's not like I can stop a god from speaking."
"Sigh…"
Esperaunce affixes his feet to the ground from their elevated position from levitating, softly placing his hand on Gene's shoulder.
"I may be the god of dreams, but make no mistake–I just allowed you to see what was in your heart already."
"Yeah, I get that, but why? Are you here to judge me for my sins? Is my hell composed of reliving the same trauma over and over again? I know that I am selfish and immoral, so there's no need to remind me of that!"
"Gene, do you really think that about yourself? That it's true that you are selfish? Is it really true that you have no morals?"
"It's not a matter of what I think to be true or not, it's just a demonstrable fact. You were peeping around my dreams yourself, weren't you? You should know what I'm talking about!"
"How can that be the case when you agreed to this whole ordeal just for the chance to save your friend. That's quite uncharacteristic of a selfish heart, I'd say."
"Showing basic care for a friend is the bare minimum. That in no way negates the weight of my previous selfish actions!"
"You're right in that your current actions can't negate decisions you have already made, including ones you deem as selfish. But I saw it, what truly lies in your heart that is. Deep down, you desire redemption, but you have given up hoping for it. Even still, your heart can't help but long for it."
"Doesn't matter. My set of circumstances all trace back to one thing: my curse. I was born with a curse that can heal just about anything, but in a cruel twist of fate, I share the pain of those that I heal. How ironic is that? A selfless curse that punishes the user for being selfless. Do you deities get a kick out of such paradoxes? Did I do something to make the goddess despise me?"
Frustration. Resentment. Despair. Guilt. A mixture of these emotions lingered within each and every one of Gene's words as an aftertaste. Even when he stopped speaking, the very air surrounding him was heavy.
"I can't speak on Twinkles' behalf or any other deities', but if I may, here's my view: Some things in life are worth being selfish over, and other things are worth sacrificing for. If you were ever expecting a perfect solution or a straightforward answer that would have resolved everything, I hope now you realize that such a thing is nothing more than fantasy. However, there is one simple thing that you can do: choose the option that you can live with without regret."
"Gee, that would have been helpful while my niece was still alive. A life of regret is all I have left now…"
Hmm, that's strange. You don't appear to be over 200 years old, knocking on death's door. I know that I am immortal, but even I can tell that you are very young."
"And your point being?"
"Don't you see, young lad? You have not even lived ten percent of your life, yet you have already determined that the rest of it will be full of regret. Have you considered what you can do right now, in the present, in order to not let the same regret haunt you for eternity?"
"But…my other niece is on track to die just like her sister years ago. My brother hates me to the point of not even considering me his relative–let alone his younger brother. Even if I don't account for the unchangeable past decisions I made, what am I supposed to do now?"
"I don't know. Ask your heart for which decision you can make without regret."
"..."
Back then, I chose to help Helia by healing her of her fatal injury with my curse. I didn't regret helping her, in fact I was and still am grateful to see that she's alive and well. The only "regret" that I have had is the pain that I'm forced to share. That regret multiplied exponentially when I hid my curse from Tensen and refused to heal Kira.
When I chose to heal Helia, my only regret was feeling physical pain. When I chose not to heal Kira to avoid more of that physical pain, I ended up emotionally wounding my brother, his wife, Helia…and myself. Ever since then, I have been carrying that emotional burden…but at what cost? The shared pain that I occasionally feel from Helia is numb compared to the pain my soul feels…
That leaves only one clear decision for me.
"In reality, there is no such thing as me making a choice that comes without regret. However, I know the decision that I can make in the present that will lead to less regret. I'll do it! I'll finally reconcile with Tensen and free my heart!"
Triumphantly raising his fist into the air, Gene makes his declaration. Esperaunce pats his back, looking at him as a father would to his son.
"Gene, you finally found the resolve you needed from your dream; you can now conquer the darkness in your heart. You passed, lad!"
"I passed? Was this some elaborate trial all along?"
"Hahaha, perhaps! By the way there could be a way to mitigate the negative effects of your curse. The world is vast and there are many curses out there–surely one of them could aid your condition. Perhaps even a deity could help, though I wouldn't bank on their assistance. Trust me, I have some of the worst personal experiences known to immortals."
Hearing the god's words rekindle his hope, at long last, Gene faces Esperaunce again. His eyes are a faint pinkish-red.
"Really? There's still hope for me to mitigate this pain?! Tell me more in detail, god Esperance!"
"It's time to go, maybe we can chat some other time, lad. Swing by in another 50 years."
"What? 50 years?! Why not right now–"
SNAP
With a firm snap of his fingers, Gene disappears in accordance with Esperaunce's will. The god exhales deeply as he levitates slightly above the ground once more.
"It's only a possibility…but if he is determined, I'm sure he will be blessed for his efforts. Right, Haruka?"