Seele had a very long dream...
Not long ago, a long time ago, she was still living in this orphanage as usual, enduring Sin's constant teasing and ridicule, and also enjoying Bronya's care and affection.
Childhood was always particularly long, and even a short day was filled with many joys and sorrows.
From dawn to dusk, this small courtyard was enough to contain all the life of a sensitive and fragile girl, as well as her entire world.
She thought that such days could last for a very long time. Until that day, a slender needle pierced her equally slender arm, and a light yellow reagent was pushed into her blood vessel bit by bit.
The next second, a strange feeling surged up from her soul, like a clear spring from beyond the sky, injecting into her small world bit by bit, bringing messages from afar.
The next second, she read her entire life—she saw Sin ambush and seriously injure Bronya Oneechan in front of her; she saw herself walk alone to the blue sea she had once longed for; she saw herself turn to ashes bit by bit in the experiment called "X-10", and then fall into another deeper and darker sea in helplessness and despair.
The next second, Seele fainted in shock and fear...
"Why... is this happening?"
Seele cried helplessly. That was the past that the other Seele had experienced, and it was also her future. But she desperately rejected such a future.
"No... don't!"
She didn't want Bronya Oneechan to be hurt like that, but she was also afraid that she would bear such a future. The pain and loneliness made her lose all courage just by seeing it...
"If only time could stop, then I wouldn't have to worry about such a future..."
In the girl's deep dream, Seele cried and made a naive wish like a fairy tale: "As long as the future never comes, we can live happily here forever..."
Whispering such hopes, she also fell into a deep sleep in her dream.
---||---
Passing through the palace of consciousness and the labyrinth of memory, Seele followed the guidance of the feather and found a tattered wooden box in a corner far away from all memories, without a trace of any marks, as if it had existed there since the beginning of time. There was also a rusty big lock on the box, as if to tell the world that no one could open it and find its secrets.
"Ah... so you're here?"
Seele let out a long breath, slowly squatted down in front of the wooden box, and gently stroked the rusty lock. The feather turned into a key at this moment and smoothly inserted into the rusty keyhole.
With a click, the lock fell to the ground and disappeared without a trace.
Seele opened this sealed heart with a mixture of relief and a trace of complicated feelings, because...
Opening the wooden box, there was nothing else inside but a thin and weak girl curled up, her face covered with tear stains, and even the bottom of the box was soaked with a large patch of water.
"Hello, Seele."
Seele greeted the girl in the box softly in a gentle voice. She had the same face as herself. With a joyful expression, her voice was like a warm spring breeze. "This is the first time we've officially met."
"Why... Bronya Oneechan, or anyone else. I've obviously given everything to you..."
The other Seele sat up from the box in a daze, shrinking into a small ball like a newborn kitten, and asked with both sadness and unwillingness, "Isn't it good to live happily like this forever?"
She envied this Seele who had come from a parallel world, but she couldn't make such sacrifices and be so fearless. So, at the moment when their two consciousnesses came into contact, she silently hid herself and gave her body and the name "Seele" to her.
She only hoped that this braver Seele could live happily forever in place of this useless self...
"What a simple wish..."
Seele looked at the girl in front of her with some pity, as if she was looking at her past self, who was also uneasy. She empathized with her and spoke the truth that she dared not say out loud. "False happiness is also happiness. As long as you don't touch that thin curtain, you will never be pierced by the terrible reality. The little fairy tale hiding in the corner can continue forever. But..."
Seele earnestly delved into her own soul, wanting to pass on her courage to her past self in front of her. "But, Seele, we can't always let others bear the heavy pressure of reality for us with a clear conscience!"
"Sob..."
The other Seele cried softly, as helpless as if her beloved toy had been taken away.
Her past self would always hide in a corner and cry helplessly, but no matter where, Bronya Oneechan would always find her, give her a warm hug, and gently comfort her.
So, learning from Bronya Oneechan's gentleness, or perhaps she herself was a gentle person, Seele also gave her past self a equally gentle hug, without saying a word.
"Waah!"
The girl being hugged cried out loud, and the girl who gave the hug also shed silent tears in empathy. "I'm sorry, Seele..."
---||---
Every child longs to grow up, but that's because they don't know what "growing up" really means. Otherwise, they would be glad to be a child and wish to be a child forever.
Just like the current "Seele," she saw "her own" future too early and was trapped in an inescapable fear...
But for the sake of those who love her and those she loves, a "child" must always learn to grow up.
Seele firmly believed in this, so she said softly, "You'll understand me, right?"
A person can never deceive themselves. When "oneself" has a soul-to-soul dialogue with "oneself," any verbal persuasion appears pale and ridiculous. One only needs to convey their truest soul to the other party and accept the truth of the other party's soul.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry... but..."
The past Seele trembled. "I'm not as brave as you. I can't do it..."
This future Seele was warm and firm, while she, who was cowardly by nature, even hesitated to say the word "afraid." This huge gap made her feel even more inferior.
"I'm so useless..."
The past Seele thought. She admired the bravery of her future self, but she also feared the price she would have to pay to become such a person...
"Actually, like you, I'm not brave at all..."
The Seele, who seemed to have crossed worlds and time, softly recounted her experiences and stories. "When Bronya Oneechan was hurt, I was right there, but I didn't have the courage to stand up and stop it. I just cowardly shrank in a corner where no one could see, not daring to make a sound. Then after everyone had left, I locked myself in a small box and cried non-stop, just like you are now..."
"I..."
"Then, for various reasons, I came to this world that was almost identical to my memory and became the Seele of this world, which is you. And what happened after that, we all experienced together. Seele, you should remember it clearly, right?"
"...Mhm."
The Seele of this world hesitated for a moment and nodded imperceptibly. Her memory was completely synchronized with the Seele from the outside world, but she had been carefully peeking at everything the other Seele had experienced from a bystander's perspective.
In front of "herself," Seele recounted every detail of her experience in each loop, as if reliving a past story, and as if looking back on her own journey.
In the first loop, Seele, who had finally seen the light of day again, unexpectedly returned to the familiar orphanage and saw Bronya Oneechan, whom she had not seen for a long time. At that time, she coveted this long-lost comfort, just like her past self coveted this false happiness. Then...
At that time, I watched everything happen bit by bit, but I did nothing. Until Mother Cocolia suddenly appeared, and Bronya Oneechan was taken away by her to protect me and Sin...
Seele said with both regret and guilt.
If it weren't for the "loop" in this world that could reset everything that had happened, Seele would have regretted her inaction for the rest of her life.
"So when I returned to the starting point of time again, I let out a long sigh of relief."
"In the second loop, she knew she couldn't continue to do nothing and wanted to take action, but she didn't know what to do. So, the dark her made a choice for her."
"At that time, I knew that the other me was acting a bit too rashly, but I didn't stop her. Because in my heart, there was actually a very selfish thought..."
Seele clutched her chest and bravely faced her true self. "Since there's another me who can act for me, isn't it enough for me to just obediently get out of the way and quietly wait for the final result?"
"I..."
Veliona wasn't here, but the Seele of this world lowered her head in shame. Isn't that what I was thinking?
Seele watched her continue to recall these memories.
The self that did not stop Veliona's reckless actions in time paid the price for her侥幸心理 again. Her sudden disappearance caused the orphanage to explode in an instant. The overly obvious abnormal behavior also aroused Mother Cocolia's suspicion, and then...
This time, Sin stood up and paid the price for her mistake.
"The good news is that Mr. Lin Wei encountered Bronya Oneechan because of this and successfully came to the orphanage to find me. And I finally knew what I could do in the third loop..."
So, in the third loop, Seele, who had tasted enough of the bitter fruit, finally stopped running away. She mustered up her courage and confessed everything to Bronya Oneechan, and then guided the story to a not-so-bad ending...
"In this loop after loop, I have repeatedly tasted all the bitter fruits caused by my immaturity and weakness, and then I get the opportunity to make up for it in the new loop. I should thank you, Seele..."
Seele, who had recalled all her experiences, said gratefully. "This is our common experience, not just my harvest alone. You, me, and the other me who is not here, this special experience is our common treasure."
"...Really...?"
The Seele of this world shook her head in a daze and shame. She was just a spectator, a deserter, and had done nothing at all. How could she be qualified to share in this growth?
"Of course! Because you are also Seele, because you are me!"
Seele's smile was extremely gentle, with a special kind of satisfaction, as if she had handed in a fairly satisfactory answer sheet to her past self. "Actually, I'm not brave at all. Every time I loop, my heart is full of apprehension and unease, including now..."
"But, Seele knows, I can't keep stagnating, I can't always watch Bronya Oneechan, the other me, or even Mr. Lin Wei make choices and sacrifices for Seele. And I can't let my guard down just because I can 'start over.' I—must... learn to bear it myself, learn to grow up!"
Seele took a deep breath, as if releasing a burden in her chest. "So, now, there is something that only Seele can do, and Seele can't escape it no matter what, because..."
Seele smiled gently, her tone firm as she revealed her heart to her self in front of her. "Everyone is sacrificing for their companions, working hard for tomorrow. How can Seele be so selfish and stay in yesterday, not moving forward?"
How could she not be afraid of the X-10 experiment? She just knew that she couldn't continue to escape.
Last time, she didn't know what was waiting for her ahead. She just relied on a moment of courage and welcomed her fate with tears.
This time, after several turns in the loop of life and death, Seele already understood what was waiting for her ahead. But this time, she had learned to be calm and could take her own steps forward with a smile.
"Seele, I want to return 'tomorrow' to Bronya Oneechan, to everyone!"
The cowardly girl of the past had finally learned to grow up. She could no longer need the love of others, but could pass on her own warmth to others—even if the one she was passing it on to was the self who was still trapped in yesterday...
"I... I'm scared..."
The past Seele was still cowering, but this time she at least had the courage to say the word "afraid."
"It's okay. This time, the three of us will share it together!"
Seele extended her hand to her, holding her past, and wanted to take her to the future together, smiling and hoping, "If all goes well, Seele will be able to have a better future with Bronya Oneechan in this world that has tomorrow again."
What if it fails?
The other Seele was still uneasy, but she didn't say it out loud.
"If it fails..."
Even though Seele had learned to be brave, her heart was still uneasy. She let out a long breath and said, "There's you, me, and the other Seele who is not here. We're together, hand in hand. Even if we fall into the Sea of Quanta again, it doesn't seem so scary..."
"..."
The other Seele hesitated for a moment, and finally mustered up her courage and grabbed the hand from the future.
The other Seeles were still working hard to move forward, how could she keep dragging them down?
So, the future was set.
---||---
One more chapter, and this world bubble will be over.
again the author is not reliable source, same with me