Then she turns to Sasuke and stars form in her eyes as she imagines something scandalous. "You too. Strictly for my job of course."
Sasuke fails to suppress a full body shiver.
I've got to fuck with him!
...
"Of course of course!" I happily throw an arm over Karin's shoulder. "Naturally you'd need to get as much information as possible, right? So this should be an extra... thorough exam. After all it's to make sure that you can help us as best as possible, right?"
"YES!" Karin shouts in glee as she's eyeing Sasuke like a piece of meat. "I must do a good job, Orochimaru-sama himself requested that I take care of you both!"
"And we don't want to let Orochimaru-sama down, now do we?" I pat her on the back reassuringly.
"Alvarcus stop." Sasuke demands. "I will get you back."
"I would never want to let him down!" Karin shouts out. "We should take care of this right away!"
"Why that's a great idea!" I agree with Karin while smirking at Sasuke. I don't care if he thinks he can get me back, this'll be good for him. And I'm getting a sense of satisfaction out of it but that's just a bonus! "Go ahead and start with him. I can wait."
"MINE!" Karin darts forward and snags Sasuke by the hand. "Let's go!"
She starts to drag the unwilling Sasuke deeper into the base to traumatize him.
"Alvarcus! I won't forget this! I will get you back! Just you wait, revenge will be sweet!" Sasuke yells just before Karin drags him around a corner. "Sleep with one eye open if you want to! It won't stop me!"
"Are you sure that was wise?" Orochimaru asks me as he's smirking to himself about Sasuke's situation.
"This is his punishment." I solemnly tell my Kage. "He should have known better."
"Known better than what?" Orochimaru turns his full attention to me. "What was his mistake? I can correct it during training if I need to."
"Oh don't worry about it. This is something that I'm an expert at fixing." A demonic grin forms on my face. "This is just the beginning, if Sasuke is smart he'll stop right now before it gets worse."
"Before what gets worse?"
"He said 'hn.' I've broken him out of that habit a while ago, I will not allow him to regress."
"What?" Orochimaru says in one of his rare moments of confusion. "Never mind. Let's just go on a tour of the base for now. I'll send someone to show Sasuke around later."
...
Hours Later, Alvarcus's New Room
"Wow this place is huge." I grumble to myself as I dump all of my scrolls out of my backpack and onto the ground. "I can't believe it took that long to see it all. Though he did show me every laboratory that was empty so I could pick my own, that did eat up a lot of time. I still don't know why he listed every single experiment that's gone on in each individual lab."
I squat down and start to sort the pile of scrolls.
"Right. Well... this is going to suck."
I grab one of the larger ones and unfurl it. With a quick pulse of chakra the seal unleashes it's contents.
"Holy shit that is a mountain of clothes." I groan to myself. "I've got to put all of that away now. Stupid Weavers and making boatloads of everything. Why do I need a cubic meter of shirts? WHY?"
I'm going to do this the easy way. I sit cross legged on the ground and let hundreds of chakra strings extend out to the waiting mountain of shirts. Then one lifts into the air and moves into the closet, it's even hung up and everything. "Alright! Let's do this! Full speed ahead!"
Shirts fly through the air in a symphony worthy of the world's greatest orchestra. Even with the assistance of multiple chakra strings and the ability to put multiple shirts away at once, it still took a solid twenty minutes.
"And done!" I snag another scroll and unseal its contents. "Kami damn it. There's just as many pants as there are shirts. This is going to be a long day."
"You have no idea how right that is." A menacing voice snarls from my doorway. Whoever the speaker is, they're pissed beyond belief.
"Oh hey Sasuke." I casually greet him like nothing is wrong as pants start to fly through the air. "You look... violated. She wasn't too rough was she?"
"Why would you do that to me?!" He angrily shouts at me. "Why! You know how I feel about fan-girls!"
The symphony of flying pants comes to a crashing halt as I turn my gaze onto Sasuke.
"Hn." I mimic his grunt.
"That's why?" He irritably yells. "Because I went hn?"
"Yes." I calmly clarify. "I will not allow you to slip back into your old ways. How else are you supposed to make friends?"
"I don't need friends, I've got you." Sasuke points out.
"Yeah well having only one friend isn't healthy." I retort. "And before you say it I know that makes me a hypocrite, but I do have Shirokumo too so I'm currently better off than you."
"You know what? I'm not going to say that." Then Sasuke turns scary. He tilts his head so that shadows dance on his face and his unnerving red eyes stare out of the blackness at me. "I'll just say this."
"Oh scary!" I taunt him. "I'm trembling in my boots!"
"Now that she's done with me it's your turn with Karin."
"I'm ready whenever you are Alvarcus!" Karin calls from behind Sasuke. I had no idea she was out there.
"Oh. Shit."
Sasuke laughs demonically in sweet, sweet victory.
"Wait it took her hours to finish with you? Damn I bet she was very thorough. No wonder you look violated!"
Sasuke instantly wilts as it's my turn to laugh in victory.
...
"Name." Karin demands.
"Alvarcus Mar." I supply. "Do you have to wear a lab coat?"
"No, I just want to." She taps her pen onto her clipboard twice. "Age."
"Thirteen. So why did I have to lay down on a gurney for this? I'm not actually in need of medical assistance right now."
"Helps me get in character." Wow she's weird. "Height."
"Uh... not exactly sure but around 150cm. Did you have to put on rubber gloves? That's sending a very scary message."
"Don't worry, I'll be gentle." She promises as she taps the clipboard again. "Weight."
"Wow that's terrifying. There are some things I'm not going to allow. That includes every possible action that you'd need rubber gloves for. And... uh... I have no idea."
"How do you not know how much you weigh?" Karin exclaims in disbelief.
"Because I have a kinjutsu that has a physical mass of it's own and I never weighed myself after I got it because I had more important things to do like fighting for my life and training so I actually stood a chance when I fought for my life?"
"Oh. Really?"
"Yes. Why would I lie about that?"
"That covers pretty much everything then." Karin puts the clipboard and pen down then smirks at me. She raises her hands up in the air then snaps one of the rubber gloves like a doctor preparing for an intense surgery. "Strip."
"Sorry what?" I gawk at her. There's no way she said that!
"Strip." She repeats with mirth dancing in her eyes.
"Why the hell do I need to strip!" I protectively cover myself from the crazy lady before me.
"I need to be familiar with your body if I'm going to be your personal medic. It will make my job easier to get a baseline while you're healthy. Strip."
"Can't you just run a diagnostic jutsu on me or something? I'd rather keep my modesty intact."
"I'll be doing that next. A visual representation of what you're supposed to look like will help should anything drastic happen to you. It helps me conserve chakra if I know how something should be, I can direct the flow better and more efficiently."
"Fine. But I'm keeping my underwear on." I relent to her demands. "You better have done this to Sasuke too."
"Oh I did. He took much more time to convince than you. He had the strangest scar on his arm though, it looked like someone cut it off then crudely stitched it back on." Karin gets a dreamy look in her eyes. "You wouldn't believe how chiseled he is."
"I'm repressing that. Repressing it very deeply, never to be seen again." I swing my legs off of the gurney and hop onto my feet.
"Oh be quiet!" Karin waves me off. "I'm sure Orochimaru-sama's child can contend with Sasuke. You have nothing to be ashamed of."
"You know that we're not actually related right?" I pull off my scarf. "Technically I'm adopted. That's the best term I've got for it."
"Holy shit." Karin goes wide eyed and all color drains from her face. She takes a hesitant step away from me and takes off her glasses. Then she rubs her eyes and puts them back on.
...
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