That Night, After Sasuke Left
"That was fun." I say to myself the second the door swings shut behind Sasuke. "I truly enjoyed myself. It was nice to escape from all the shit in my life even if it was only for a couple hours. We need to just hang out more often, we're both stressed out. Me way more than him though."
I happily walk back over to the couch but with every step my happiness fades. After one step my smile dulls a little. After three my shoulders sag downwards as if a massive weight has settled on them. After five the happy smile is completely gone. Once I'm sitting on my couch there's not a trace of the happiness I just felt, it's all gone.
Right now I'm not the happy kid that doesn't have a care in the world. I'm no longer able to laugh at stupid jokes and poor attempts of acting. Now I'm a shinobi that's deep in enemy territory, a shinobi with an impossible task, a lone shinobi with almost zero chance of succeeding.
But if my plan works then I will have bested those crazily low odds, if it works then I will no longer have an impossible task. All I have to do is see if the trapdoor spiders are finished with the tunnels yet then have them move onto the next step.
"Summoning Jutsu!" I lazily plonk my hand down next to me on the couch cushion. I'm not getting up to summon Shirokumo to the ground. Half the time he hurries up to his web anyways.
"Alvarcus!" Shirokumo shouts out the second he's here, he didn't even wait for the small smoke cloud to dissipate.
"Wow. You hardly ever call me Alvarcus anymore, usually it's just Al. Or Summoner. Or dumbass. Let the record show that the last one is my least favorite." I wonder what has him so energetic.
"Good you're already sitting, don't get up." Shirokumo climbs up the arm of the couch to be closer to my height.
"What?" I eloquently blurt out. "Why do I need to be sitting? Last time you said that you gave me some really shitty news. Shitty doesn't cover it, it's not strong enough. Oh fuck what's wrong now?"
Shirokumo takes a deep breath to steady himself. "I went and talked with Kakashi."
My world stops. All sound, all light, all everything halts in this one instant. Even time stops its never ending march. He went to Kakashi. After that conversation, no after I spilled my guts out to him. After I poured out my heart he went at talked to Kakashi. How could he? What could possess him to do something that could hurt me so much? Why would Shirokumo do this to me? I don't want to know Kakashi's answer. I don't want to know how he feels. I can't know, it might break me.
But Shirokumo went anyways.
"H... how?" I force the singular word out. It took every iota of willpower I have to shakily utter one measly word.
"I'll tell you..."
...
Flashback, Kakashi and Shirokumo's Confrontation
"So, how about it?" Shirokumo asks the shinobi before him. "Will you write your student a letter? Do you hate him or do you have faith in him still? Kakashi, how do you feel about Alvarcus now?"
"You want to know how I feel about him?" Kakashi steps out of the closet. "YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT HIM!? I'LL TELL YOU HOW I FEEL ABOUT HIM!"
Kakashi's face, even though it's covered by his faithful mask, is twisted and contorted in rage and anger. This is not how Shirokumo hoped this conversation would go.
"Alvarcus tries to constantly do too much! He always without fail tries to shoulder more than his share of the burden! It all started back when he had his first kill, something clicked.
He realized that he doesn't want anyone else to go through what he did, he's trying to protect everyone by doing everything alone. In the first Chunin Exams he lead his team through everything, hell he was the one that spent the most time battling against Orochimaru so his team had a better chance at living. Then the invasion? All those terrible things happened but he still went on to stop Gaara despite all of them.
After that he helped Sasuke go against two S-rank shinobi! He knowingly went with him, he knew exactly what he was getting into but he didn't ask anyone for help! And then he brings back Tsunade of all people to be the Hokage and heal me and Sasuke? That kid never asks for help. Alvarcus sees a problem then conquers it himself."
"Now on to his stupid stunts during the Chunin Exams! What kind of shinobi, no matter how good their defense, casually let's someone attack him? I mean come on! He could have dodged everything that was thrown at him and I'm not talking about just Leiko.
I know Alvarcus, I know what he's capable of before he left and I'm sure he's only improved his skills since then. If he wanted to he could have ended the fight with Lee in moments. He knew Lee gets stronger with each Gate opens but he let him open five! Seriously? I taught him better than that!"
"He's spying on fucking Orochimaru of all people! One of the few S-rank threats to Konoha and Alvarcus thought 'hey, I've fought against the other one so let's go spy on this one! That'll be fun!' Then he has the balls to – to take his friends and use them as a bargaining chip? What the fuck!"
"Alvarcus is stupid! He's arrogant and he doesn't pause to consider how his actions will effect those who are not immediately around him! Look at him now, masquerading as Orochimaru's prized child. Did he not pause to think how that would impact everyone here? Did he not take a moment to consider that what he's done, what he did, could turn everyone against him?"
"So do you really want to know how I feel about him?" Kakashi roars at the small white spider. "He's the best student I could have ever asked for."
"Uh... what?" Shirokumo says in shock. "But all those things? You built it up like you hate him now."
"You're right. Every single thing I've pointed out is a point against him, but to me that doesn't matter. There's a reason behind all of those actions, a single lesson that I tried to teach all of my gennin. It is the most important thing I could teach, if out of everything I taught them they only got one thing out of it, I would hope it was this lesson. Only he learned it."
"That lesson is this: Those who break the rules trash, but those who abandon their comrades are worse than trash. Alvarcus took that one lesson to heart. He's become the embodiment of that singular lesson. He does everything in his power to help protect and shield those he cares about from harm."
"The reason he doesn't ask for help isn't out of some misguided need to do everything alone, it's so that no one else has to get hurt. The reason he holds back is so that others don't get hurt. The reason he went to Otogakure was to protect his best friend and his home from their biggest threat. He doesn't ever think of himself first, he's always second. Honestly I think he learned the lesson a little too well."
"All of his failures don't reflect back negatively on him alone, they also reflect on me. Each action of his, good or bad, can be traced back to how he was taught. Back to who taught him, back to me. It's not just on him, I helped create and shape his mind. I helped him, molded him into a shinobi that utilized unorthodox methods to win. Sure I never sat him down and taught like a teacher but Alvarcus is a visual learner.
He watched me, someone who is famous for his outlandishly strange yet insanely successful tactics, and he learned from me. He saw that using a new method, one that no one else could possibly think of, is a viable way to win. Sure our respective styles don't line up at all, I focus on tricking the opponent while he focuses on driving them mad but it works."
"I could never hate him. Alvarcus is my favorite student, even to this day. Ask me again in a month and the answer will be the same. Ask again in a year, a decade, a lifetime and my answer will always be that I could never hate him."
...
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