Kasenhis absentmindedly grabbed a bottle of liquor and took a swig… aHH~
"So, you were insulting Madam Maxime just now?" Fleur asked in a calm, chilly voice.
"Uh, before that—may I ask, who exactly were you here to see?" Kasenhis picked up a cushion from beside him and hugged it to his chest as he asked.
Fleur nodded, clasped her hands behind her back, and, as if performing a magic trick, produced a flower basket. "Madam Maxime asked me to deliver this to you… and then I very impolitely overheard your conversation."
"Oh… do pass along my greetings to Madam Maxime. Yes. Greetings," Kasenhis said dryly.
Meanwhile, Hagrid looked like he was about to turn into a sugar-coated hawthorn skewer from sheer panic. He glanced left at Kasenhis, right at Cedric, and felt his grand plan for love crumbling to ash.
"Yes, but to be honest, I'm now seriously doubting whether this flower basket delivery was even necessary," Fleur said sternly, her delicate face completely tense.
Kasenhis's eyes went slightly unfocused, as if two glowing options suddenly appeared before him—
[Lie] [Tell the Truth]
He made his choice almost instantly.
"See that Care of Magical Creatures professor over there? He's in love with your headmistress. Asked me to help him come up with a plan. Now that you're here, don't rush off just yet. Cedric—serve some tea," Kasenhis said, locking the office door behind them with a flick of his wand.
Cedric sighed helplessly, walked over to the cabinet, and after a short while came back holding a tray.
"Unfortunately, there's no tea left in the professor's office. We've got whiskey, vodka, gin, fruit wine… and some laobaigan?"
Kasenhis frowned, rubbing his temples with a weary sigh. "I remember there being orange juice."
"I drank all the orange juice in the last two days. As for the oranges, you soaked them in vodka, Professor," Cedric replied dryly.
"…"
Fleur looked at the ridiculous scene before her and couldn't help pursing her lips. Watching this unfold, she suddenly felt a strange sense of pity—like every student at Hogwarts was living in some kind of chaotic misery.
The Alchemy professor fakes his own death for fun, the Headmaster throws him a funeral, the staff seem to do everything except their jobs, and the students… well, they dunk on the Goblet of Fire right under the Headmaster's nose.
Put it all together, and it really did feel like Hogwarts might just collapse tomorrow.
"Oh, what delightful hospitality Hogwarts offers," Fleur said dryly. "Is this… a one-way visit?"
Kasenhis smiled brightly and conjured a chair out of thin air behind Fleur. "Of course not. Since you've already overheard our conversation, that makes you one of us now—same boat and all."
Fleur frowned. "I never said that. And I'm not on the same boat as you."
"Don't sweat the details," Cedric quickly chimed in, backing Kasenhis up like a seasoned accomplice.
"Oh… and what's in it for me?" Fleur asked, folding her arms.
"Gold? Diamonds? If you want, I can even craft you a life-sized statue—exact to scale," Kasenhis offered in an eerily calm tone.
"Not particularly in need, thanks. In short, as a student of Beauxbatons, I can understand why others might hold bias against our headmistress or our school—but I won't just stand by and ignore such talk," Fleur said seriously, shaking her head.
Hagrid's face turned the color of boiled pork liver. "So… I'm hopeless, aren't I?"
Cedric shook his head. "Professor Kasenhis once taught me that when a situation looks like this—it's usually the prelude to a bribe."
"But I don't have any money… that's Kasenhis's money, not mine. I can't ask him to clean up a mess I made myself…" Hagrid said miserably.
"So what do you propose then?"
"…Can you use Obliviate?" Hagrid suggested, eyes lighting up with what he thought was a good idea.
"…Bloody idiots!" Fleur muttered under her breath. Hearing Hagrid and Cedric loudly conspiring behind Kasenhis made her courage drain by two-thirds in an instant.
That giant professor looked so simple and honest, yet his first instinct wasn't to solve the problem—it was to solve the person who raised it…
Kasenhis, ever the cooperative type, rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "I could go to St. Mungo's and fetch Lockhart. He's an expert in Memory Charms. Wouldn't even take a few seconds—she wouldn't make it out of this office before forgetting everything."
At that moment, Fleur felt that Hogwarts wasn't doomed because of chaos—it was doomed because it was clearly being run by a mafia.
No wonder a place like this could produce a maniac like Voldemort.
Of course, Kasenhis had no real intention of calling Lockhart over. He still had a shred of a bottom line left.
When it came to students, his philosophy was always psychological and emotional education—never physical.
Meanwhile, Cedric smoothly picked up the act, sneaking to Fleur's side and whispering, "Now would be a great time to offer a bribe."
"You know," Fleur said stiffly, "Madam Maxime is the headmistress I respect most."
"I'll just go get Lockhart," Kasenhis sighed, pretending to rise to his feet.
"I—I don't remember anything that just happened!" Fleur blurted out immediately, deciding that discretion was the better part of valor.
"So, is it all settled now?" Hagrid asked eagerly, looking at Kasenhis.
"I just realized… maybe we can push our luck a little bit further."
"Huh?" Hagrid and Cedric both stared blankly—and Fleur wore the exact same expression.
"As Madam Maxime's student, you should know her interests well, right?" Kasenhis asked with a sly smile.
"Not really…" Fleur shook her head firmly, clearly disapproving of this whole 'sell out your headmistress' business.
"Everyone wants something. You could start by telling us what you want."
"Me? I don't really lack anything. The only thing I'm missing right now is… the championship," Fleur said, tilting her head slightly.
"The contestants haven't even been picked by the Goblet of Fire yet! Where are we supposed to pull a championship from?" Hagrid said, sounding aggrieved.
"It's simple. Beauxbatons' champion will definitely be me. Durmstrang's will definitely be Krum. So then—who will Hogwarts' champion be?" Fleur said confidently.
"Wow, you're all so sure of yourselves," Kasenhis said casually, finally realizing that he truly lacked any kind of leadership charisma. If it had been a Gryffindor or Slytherin saying the same words to Fleur, she probably would've bowed her head on the spot.
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