As soon as we stepped into the room, we were hit by a wave of heavy pressure. The killing intent in the air was so thick, you could probably slice it with a kunai. Dozens of sharp eyes turned toward us. Some were sizing us up, others outright threatening, and a few just waiting to see if we'd crack.
Jimei stopped dead in his tracks, eyes wide. "Uhh... Ken-kun?"
"What is it?"
"I think we walked into the wrong room... Maybe there's an alternate Chuunin Exam? Y'know, for normal people who don't look like contract killers?"
I looked around. It was basically a zoo of scary faces. Big guys, scarred guys, people with bags under their eyes so deep they probably hadn't slept since the Third Great Ninja War and I'm not even sure they were old enough to have been in it. The atmosphere was heavy. Suffocating.
But to me? It was just a bunch of people trying too hard to look scary. Honestly, my old cat when she was hungry was more terrifying than these wannabes. After what we faced during our first real mission, this didn't faze me.
"Nope. Pretty sure we're in the right place." I said, trying not to laugh at the look on his face.
Jimei groaned. "Yeah, I thought so too. Which means we're surrounded by people who could, I don't know, rip my head off and use it as a decoration."
"Relax. If it happens, I'll notify your family."
"I'm an orphan!" He looked at me like I'd just kicked a puppy.
Messing with Jimei was way too easy and honestly, kinda fun.
"In that case, I'll light a candle for your soul."
He looked even more offended, jaw dropping like I'd said something unspeakable.
"You're not even gonna pretend you'll protect me?"
"If someone actually tries something, I'll probably be busy fighting too." I replied without a blink.
Jimei rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. "You're a terrible friend."
Natsu, walking beside us with her usual grace, gave a small smile.
"If they're trying to intimidate us, it means they're insecure. True strength doesn't need to be flaunted like this."
Jimei sighed, folding his arms tighter. "That's a nice sentiment, Natsu-chan, but I don't think it's gonna stop someone from stabbing me in the spleen."
I gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder. "Well, just try not to get stabbed then."
"Great advice, thank you!" Jimei muttered, full of sarcasm. "Okay, let's see... one guy with his whole face wrapped in bandages, three with explosion-level scars, that guy over there sharpening a kunai while glaring at us... Oh, and the massive dude in the corner? If he's not a rogue ninja in disguise, I'll eat my forehead protector."
I looked. Yeah, that guy did look more like a mercenary than a genin.
"You're exaggerating, Jimei!" I said, shaking my head. "He just looks... extremely violent."
"Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr. Nothing-Bothers-Me, but I'm just being realistic!" Jimei snapped, pointing at a group of ninjas whispering and glancing our way. "Look at those guys! They're clearly plotting something! Do you know what that means, Kenshin?!"
"That they're... talking?"
"That we're gonna die!"
"Well, someone has to be eliminated first." I said with a grin.
Jimei shot me a look that could kill. "You're talking like you don't even care!"
"I don't!" I replied with a shrug.
We kept walking at a casual pace, like none of this fazed us. Every step we took through that tense crowd seemed to annoy some of the other genin, who were probably hoping we'd flinch or show even a hint of fear. But us? Nothing.
Well, me and Natsu were fine. Jimei, on the other hand...
"Hey, Kenshin…" Jimei whispered, leaning a little closer. "If one of them jumps us, you'll protect me, right?"
"Of course."
"Really?"
"No."
"You son of—"
"Shh." I cut him off, subtly gesturing ahead. "Look over there. Hiyomi's here."
She was standing off in the corner with Natori, chatting like the whole room wasn't practically vibrating with bloodlust. Her usual lazy expression was firmly in place, and she was absentmindedly twirling a strand of hair as she talked to him.
Jimei followed my gaze and instantly stiffened up like he'd been hit by a paralysis jutsu.
"Hiyomi-chan…" he muttered, straightening his posture and clearing his throat. "She's talking to Natori…"
"Yep."
"And she doesn't even look remotely intimidated by this whole murder-vibe situation."
"Correct." I said, watching Jimei's reaction.
"Okay, okay… breathe, Jimei…" He told himself in a whisper, like a man trying to psych himself up for battle. "Come on, we should go say hi to our old classmates, right?"
He took a deep breath, puffed out his chest, and started walking toward them like a man with a noble mission. Unfortunately, he looked more like a confused penguin trying to march through a sandstorm.
"Why are you walking like this?" I whispered confusedly.
"I'm trying to look confident!" He hissed back through gritted teeth.
"Then stop walking like you've got a kunai stuck up your—well, you get the idea."
He froze mid-step, adjusted his stance, cleared his throat again, and tried once more. This time, he looked like he was attempting to channel a samurai-in-training… but the effect was still pretty far from impressive.
By then, Natori and Hiyomi had already noticed us. Natori gave us that usual look of his—calm, unreadable, like he was always two seconds away from pulling out a kunai and solving whatever problem stood in front of him.
Hiyomi, on the other hand, blinked at us slowly, as if even acknowledging our presence was more effort than she was willing to invest.
"Yo!" Natori greeted us with his usual low-key tone.
"Yo, Natori! Hiyomi-chan!" Jimei answered with this way-too-loud enthusiasm that made my soul try to escape my body out of pure secondhand embarrassment.
Hiyomi tilted her head slightly, eyeing him like someone watching a dog try to solve a puzzle.
"Why are you talking like that?" she asked, with a tiny smirk barely hiding in her voice.
"What do you mean?" he asked, clearly sweating.
"Like... forcing your voice to sound deeper," she replied, resting her hand under her chin, thoughtful.
Jimei cleared his throat and waved his hand dismissively, as if trying to shoo away the suspicion lingering in the air.
"Aha! No, no! This is just… my normal voice!"
Except it cracked even more, like his own throat had turned traitor.
His eyes darted around the room, clearly searching for a way out of the conversation as a single bead of sweat slowly slid down his temple.
"Ah, then I guess it's just my imagination," she said with a shrug.
Jimei smiled in relief, like someone who had just escaped from a high-level genjutsu. Still, his expression wavered between momentary happiness and the fear that Hiyomi might have another comment up her sleeve.
Honestly, I could almost see his soul floating nearby, ready to abandon his body at the first sign of danger.
"Although... I never really noticed how weirdly unstable your voice is." she added, blinking.
Jimei froze like he'd just taken a hit to the chest. His eyes widened for a second before his entire expression deflated like a popped balloon.
"You're sweating." Natori said, raising an eyebrow looking at Jimei with suspicion.
Jimei quickly wiped his forehead with his sleeve, about as subtle as a bijuu rampage. The poor guy was so bad at handling this that embarrassment might as well have been his most powerful jutsu.
If I were a better person, maybe I'd have helped him out… but honestly? This was more entertaining than an episode of Everybody Hates Chris.
"It's just hot, that's all."
What a trash excuse, my guy. The room was cold enough that I was starting to wonder if the real test was a survival challenge, and whoever froze last would pass.
If he is sweating, it is nerves or maybe because his brain had short-circuited trying to preserve whatever dignity he had left. Luckily for him, Hiyomi just shrugged and let it go.
"So, are you guys nervous about the exam?" Natori asked, changing the subject.
"Who, us?" Jimei pointed at himself. "Of course not!"
"Lies. He was freaking out five minutes ago." I said, not missing the chance to throw him under the bus.
Jimei shot me a look of pure betrayal, like I'd just taken that damn golden kunai he carries around and used it to shave my balls.
"Could you, just once, not sabotage me?"
"I could!" I replied, giving his back a friendly pat. "But where's the fun in that?"
Hiyomi let out a lazy giggle, the kind that sounded like even laughing took more energy than she cared to spend.
"At least you're honest, Kenshin-san."
Jimei sighed, arms crossed, staring off to the side like a sulky kid. But the second Hiyomi looked at him again, eyes faintly sparkling, his attention snapped right back.
"I'm not nervous!" Jimei blurted out. "I'm just… alert."
"Alert for what?" Natori asked, raising an eyebrow, clearly trying to make sense of whatever new madness Jimei was cooking up.
Jimei opened his mouth, but nothing came out. His eyes scanned the room, like he was searching for some divine scroll with the right answer written on it. I could practically hear the rusty gears in his brain grinding under pressure.
After way too long, he finally mumbled, "Possible surprise attacks…"
"I see…" Natori replied flatly, his face unreadable.
Hiyomi blinked slowly, watching Jimei for a moment before stating in a soft drawl, "You're funny, Jimei-kun."
I could almost hear the gears in his brain spin faster, trying to figure out if that was an actual compliment or some kind of weird insult. The little flicker of light in his eyes told me he wanted to believe it was the first.
"Really?!" There was so much hope in his voice it was almost sad. Almost.
"Yeah. Like a clumsy little puppy."
Jimei blinked a few times, clearly trying to decide if that was good or not. He stood so still, I half-thought someone had yanked the strings on his internal puppeteer.
"…Oh," he murmured in resignation.
I brought a hand to my mouth, trying to stifle a laugh. His chin was practically touching his chest. Honestly, I admire my bro. He doesn't settle for simple embarrassment. He is always chasing full-blown humiliation.
"So does that mean he's cute?" Natsu asked, patting Jimei's back gently.
I blinked, surprised. I didn't know Natsu enjoyed watching Jimei crash and burn this much, but apparently even she was invested in this soap opera.
"Yep!" Hiyomi replied casually, like she was stating the weather.
I blinked again, choosing to wait. Jimei looked like he'd just been reborn from the ashes of his own shame. Me? I was still trying to figure out if that was a real compliment. If it was… maybe miracles did exist.
Jimei blushed. "R-Really?"
"Like a puppy trying to climb stairs and failing."
I tried—honest, I tried—but that was it. A laugh burst out before I could stop it. I coughed into my hand, trying to play it off, but out of the corner of my eye, I saw Natsu laughing quietly too, like that moment had just made her day.
Jimei huffed, arms crossed again, the very picture of a kid who just dropped his ice cream. "That doesn't sound like a real compliment…"
"But it is!" she said with unexpected sincerity, yawning right after, like this entire exchange was somehow less interesting than a nap.
He opened his mouth to argue but paused—his face caught in the middle of an internal crisis. He clearly had no idea whether to feel proud or insulted.
Jimei eventually went back to talking to Hiyomi, still trying to hold her attention, even though she seemed more interested in falling asleep sitting up than in him.
That's when I noticed, out of the corner of my eye, that Natsu had just been pulled away by the arm.
I saw that it was Tokuma who had grabbed her. The expression on Natsu's face sparked my curiosity, so I took a discreet step closer, trying to catch what they were saying.
"You should feel honored to be standing here alongside the main family." He said trying to keep his voice low. "There are Kumo shinobi in the exam. They might try something. Just remember that your primary duty is to the main branch of the clan. Not to yourself or your team."
What the hell was this guy even talking about? Did he smoke some of the Third Hokage's weed? I didn't even know he knew Natsu.
To my surprise, Natsu lowered her head. "Understood, Tokuma-sama."
"Of course you do." He replied. And boy! His voice was dripping with disdain, flashing that crooked half-smile. "After all, no one expects much more from someone like you. Just follow orders and stay in your lane."
He turned and walked off without another word, like he'd just given instructions to a servant. Natsu didn't move. Her eyes stayed glued to the floor.
That bastard... What the hell was he thinking? I always knew he was a jerk, but I'd assumed he'd grown a little over time. Guess not. Looks like someone still needs a couple of well-placed kicks to the head to learn how to treat my teammate.
The Hyuuga clan was already weird enough with their obsession over guarding the Byakugan — and that disgusting tradition of dividing their own family into masters and servants. But I still had a sliver of hope that Tokuma wasn't that brain-dead. Clearly, I was wrong.
There was no way I was going to let that idiot intimidate my teammate and walk away thinking he was right. That whole "your duty is to the main branch, not your team" speech? It was so absurd it almost made me laugh. Almost. What I really wanted was to make him eat his own teeth.
I leaned forward, just about ready to deliver a shin-high kick to that smug little punk's jaw, when something unexpected happened, something that instantly drew everyone's attention.
Petals.
Red rose petals began to float down from above, gently carried by an invisible breeze, like the start of some over-the-top theatrical entrance.
Every head in the room turned toward the front, where the petals drifted gracefully down and settled in front of the blackboard.
Now, I knew the proctor for the first stage was supposed to be Morino Ibiki. What I didn't know was that he had a flair for the dramatic or that he had a thing for red roses.
But then, behind the curtain of petals, a female silhouette emerged, flanked by maybe twenty other proctors.
Crimson eyes, sharp and mysterious. Jet-black hair that fell to her shoulders with a sway so perfect it looked choreographed like even her hair was trained in genjutsu to mesmerize you.
Her flak jacket barely hid the curves underneath, and even though I tried not to look impressed… let's just say it was hard to ignore the deadly combo of confidence and a body built to break the focus of every genin in a ten-meter radius.
Yuuhi Kurenai… I'd been expecting some scarred-up bald guy with a death stare. Instead, I got a woman who looked like she stepped straight out of a genjutsu designed specifically to confuse hormone-crazed teenagers.
For a few seconds, the room was dead silent. I even caught a glimpse of a guy from the Hidden Waterfall wiping drool off his chin with his sleeve.
"Good morning, everyone! My name is Yuuhi Kurenai!" she said with a soft but commanding smile. "I'll be your proctor for the first stage of the Chuunin Exams."
She stepped forward, eyes scanning the room with razor-sharp focus. Those red eyes were absolutely hypnotic.
"Now that everyone's here… the Chuunin Exams will begin."
And just like that, without another word, the tension in the room spiked so hard it felt like even the oxygen had stopped moving. Everyone held their breath and I swear that Waterfall guy forgot to swallow his spit.