you appear in my dreams
as the person you once were,
and no longer are.
The sound of laughter echoed through the streets. Or did it? I take a step back and realize how much time has passed since I heard their voice. I realize how much has changed since our ways parted. Time passed at a crawl, colors seem muted and happiness turns into solemn misery. Days pass and the cycle repeats and I end up back where I started. Each day passes and I end up sleeping with less of myself present and wake up with even lesser. Once a kaleidoscope of emotion surrendered to the corrosion of time.
You know where to look
And i know where to find you
The door clacked shut. Time changed its course and I walked different roads. Blood filled my cup and penance jolted my body. The candle of hope extinguished and i bore the brunt of my consequences. The sin of want and need coiled itself around my throat. The punishment lay in abandonment and i lay neglected. Forgive me for craving purpose and letting desperation burn through myself.
But then came the quiet,
the loneliness,
the hurt
"and the misery
of not being able to ask,
why not me?"
Promises weigh just as heavy as the guilt. The guillotine grows impatient, waiting desperately to claim another while my head rolls to her feet. I stare into the abyss and it stares back. Comfort in the form of disembodied voices scream at my back telling me not the make the first step. I do so regardless. Time slips into a crawl and i feel the guillotine snap again, blade meets flesh and the candle dies out. The blade of promise bears its ugly head proudly.