The night's cruel cold wraps tight around my frame as I sit beneath a tree, its branches shiver and shifting, silhouetted against a sky unspoiled by light. In the real worlds, burdened by noise and glow, the stars are forced into obscurity, hidden behind the veils of progress and industrialization. But here, within this chaotic and deadly simulation, the cosmos unveils itself in full-clear, vast, and profoundly radiant.
The darkness is eerie, yet there seems to be a beauty to it. Apart from the occasional infected groan, it is quite peaceful. The moon's light reflects off the river lying at my feet, creating a spectacle of lights, and an inversed image of the view above. It's as if I'm standing in between two realities, one mirrored, and one celestial.
I pick up a stone, skipping it across the water's surface. Ripples fan out in gentle rings, distorting the sky's reflection, then slowly drawing it back into place-as if the universe were capable of healing itself.
Looking up, I stare at the outline of what could only be a planet in the distance. It is a celestial object, yet it doesn't seem to glow like the others, nor does it seem to flicker with the sharp glint of a star. It is red, a dull rusty red, much like that of the ancient depictions of Mars before it was terraformed a few millennia ago.
It hangs there, seemingly unmoving, and timeless.
I stare at the planet for far longer than I wished, various thoughts, ideas, and memories flowing through my brain. I was so captivated by the once in a lifetime view of the night sky, that I didn't even notice the man crawling out the cave behind me.
It was only when Zane steps onto a twig next to me, do I realize that I am not alone.
I glance at him. He looks out beyond the river, just like I was, watching the night sky. "Its been a long time since I've seen a view like this." he comments.
I nod my head, listening intently as he continues rambling on.
"I know that this all just a simulation, but it feels so real. Thinking about it now, it's quite sad that I've seen more nature here than in reality. I can't help but wonder if the universe see's life like us as a disease, one widespread that brings nothing but death and destruction to it's wonderful planets."
"What a strange thing to think about." I say, releasing a chuckle as my eyes divert toward the other side of the river.
Zane continues to talk, but I dont pay attention to his ramblings. Instead, my eyes now fix on a pair of infected who aimlessly roam the river bed, most likely looking for a meal.
Luckily for us, we seem to have found a spot where not many infected seem to spawn. In fact, I've only seen a few while on watch duty.
I get up to my feet, disrupting Zane's rambling. I'm too tired to hold a conversation. My body feels heavy, and my mind aches from my many sleepless nights. I can only hope that I will eventually come to terms with my past actions, and that the guilt of them, both past and future no longer haunt me. This sense of regret and feeling that I've done something wrong still lingers with me as I picture the victims John and I have killed. I may not have ended there lives, but I most certainly contributed to the murder.
"Im tired. Wake me when we are all ready to execute the plan."
Without waiting for a response, I drag my tired body into the cave, once again using it's walls to guide me as I reach our resting place at the back of the cave.
I make sure to quietly step over Dorian, trying my best not to wake the other three men as I lower myself in the corner, placing my head against the wall.
I keep saying that I need to come to terms with my sin, yet I don't know how. How can I justify murder? How can I just ignore the images and memories of death that plague at my mind?
Tears roll down my cheeks, dripping onto the dry cave floor. The noise echoes, bouncing off the rigid walls.
I can't help but wonder if my father, a war hero who is most certainly watching down from his resting place feels disappointed in me. I am a soldier, evident by the mark on my arm, yet I am afraid to kill. Am I broken? Or am I just too human?
...
"Hey Achilles, wake up!"
I feel a hand shake my shoulder, attempting to wake me.
Slowly opening my eyes, I release a groan.
"It's morning already?"
"Yes, now get up. We dont have lot's of time to be idling around like this."
Old man Theodore extends his arm, helping me up.
"Are you good? You were out cold!" He says, releasing a dry chuckle.
"Yeah, I'm good. Where's everyone else?" I ask, taking a look around at the empty cave.
"They're outside, grab your bag and let's get a move on. We wanna hit them when they least expect it."
I nod, gabbing my backpack and sliding it over my shoulders.
I shake my head as I follow Theodore out the cave, attempting to rid myself from the ooziness of sleep.
Walking out, the sun fills my vision, its light blinding me for a moment as my eyes start to adjust.
"You ready?" Elias asks, swallowing down some corn as if it was water.
"Yeah," I say, flashing the group a smile as I take out my map.
While planning this robbery, I made sure to mark the cave on my map. We would bring the loot back here after the robbery, then retrieve it at a later date whenever it was needed. We didn't know what we were stealing, nor if it would be anything good, but there was no turning back now.
I turn to the group, releasing a sigh.
"Well, lead the way."