And besides, all sorts of signs in daily life showed that everyone was unfailingly considerate of Xu Yuan, deeply concerned about him, and profoundly dependent on him.
Thus, she naturally believed that her feelings for Xu Yuan were no different from everyone else's.
However, as time went on, when she gradually recalled those fragmented memories of being with the real HIM, she began to realize that her feelings toward Xu Yuan seemed to be different.
In the past, she indeed also maintained a superior–subordinate relationship with the real HIM.
In the depths of the Ender Queen's memory, she respected the real HIM's great power, and deeply admired the strength and boldness he displayed.
But she would not often think of the real HIM, nor would she recall the times spent with him.
The Ender Queen once thought about this, if she learned that the real HIM was about to leave this world forever, then what would she feel?
After thinking it through carefully, the answer she came to was, she would feel regret, her mood would grow incomparably heavy, she would sigh over the passing of this great hero, but she absolutely would not shed tears for it.
And precisely because of this contrast, the Ender Queen gradually realized that her feelings toward Xu Yuan were not as simple as only admiration for a superior.
For this very reason, at this moment, the Ender Queen felt shy.
The answers to those three questions were actually all the same.
After all, this obsidian greatsword was reforged with Xu Yuan's help.
Because of this, whenever she gently wiped the obsidian sword, what always surfaced in her mind was Xu Yuan's figure.
The countless fierce battles she had once fought together with the obsidian greatsword, she attributed them all to Xu Yuan.
Indeed, the one that always accompanied her side was none other than the obsidian greatsword, but her entire heart had long since been taken over by Xu Yuan, leaving no room for anything else.
(T/N: Is this supposed to be a... Confession?)
Only now, after hearing the obsidian sword raise these doubts, did the Ender Queen finally awaken to the truth, and realize the severity of the situation.
She did not reject her feelings for Xu Yuan, nor did she feel ashamed because she harbored special emotions toward him.
But the obsidian sword's words were reminding her of a reality she could not accept.
She could no longer feel her former self.
'What… what on earth is wrong with me…'
'That was the obsidian greatsword that accompanied me from the very beginning, marched with me in war, helped me ascend to the throne, and walked with me all the way until today…'
'It witnessed my everything, it was the original me…'
'And I…'
'I actually lost it…'
As the supreme leader of the Ender race, the one and only Her Majesty the Queen.
To ascend to this pinnacle seat of power, the Ender Queen naturally possessed extraordinary strength and boldness.
In the past years, her emotional world had been as pure and flawless as a blank sheet of paper, untouched by the entanglements of romance.
After all, since she herself was so outstanding and extraordinary, how many in this world could truly enter the depths of her heart as vast and profound as the night sky?
It was precisely this unrestrained, desireless, and thus unyielding mindset that shaped her unique personal charm.
However, no human can escape the entanglements of the seven emotions and six desires, and even someone as strong as the Ender Queen could not remain exempt.
When love descended upon her, she calmly accepted this feeling, and possessed the courage to face her true heart.
Yet what troubled her now was that ever since she developed these emotions, the self that had once been free-spirited and unrestrained, who rode across battlefields with no distracting thoughts, seemed to be drifting farther and farther away.
The former her, how high-spirited she was, never distracted in battle.
The former her, every time she wiped the obsidian sword, she thought only of the battles she had fought with it.
The former her, never anxious about gains and losses, caring only about the ceaseless elevation of her own realm.
Only now did she finally realize.
What she had lost was not the affirmation of her by the obsidian greatsword's other personality.
What she had lost was her original self.
Thinking this, the Ender Queen looked at the obsidian greatsword in her hand, her eyes filled with confusion.
She did not know how to find herself again.
Because she knew, if she wanted to find her old self, then she would have to let go of her feelings for Xu Yuan.
But she could not let go of these feelings, emotions that had sunk too deep to escape, she simply could not control herself.
Yet if she had to give up her former self because of these feelings, that was something she could never accept.
Seeing the confusion in the Ender Queen's eyes, the Dragon Prophet beside her seemed to sense something.
He walked over to her, patted her shoulder, and said, "Daughters' hearts are always full of thoughts. You used to always come ask me this and that. Now you don't say anything to this old man anymore."
Hearing the Dragon Prophet's words, she raised her eyes to look at him. Seeing the same kind and loving gaze as always, the Ender Queen felt her nose sting sourly.
Ever since she developed feelings for Xu Yuan, hadn't she only lost herself? She had also lost the people around her who cared about her.
It had already been so long since she last had a proper heartfelt talk with the Dragon Prophet, with the Last Dancer, and the others.
"I…"
The Ender Queen hesitated, as if she was still holding something back.
Seeing her hesitation, the Dragon Prophet suggested.
"Why don't we change to another place to talk?"
Hearing this, Player With No Social Awareness No.1, Entity 303, immediately grew unhappy, ready to step forward and stop them, but Steve grabbed him.
"Now's not the time for gossip!"
Normally Steve couldn't hold back Entity 303, but after scanning the crowd and sensing the heavy atmosphere, 303 finally gave up.
Just as 303, face full of disappointment, was about to abandon his gossip, unexpectedly the Ender Queen actually refused the Dragon Prophet's suggestion.
She shook her head, as if at that very instant she had made some kind of decision, and her eyes gradually became firm.
She looked at everyone and said, "You are all my acknowledged family. In front of family, there are no secrets."
After saying this, the Ender Queen took a deep breath and continued.
"My feelings for Our King are not the same as yours."
"I revere him as my lord, but I also truly, from the bottom of my heart, like him."
The moment she said this, the entire scene fell utterly silent.
At this moment, everyone's reactions split sharply into two extremes.
Those of the Clear-headed Faction showed expressions of mild surprise.
But their surprise was at the fact that they hadn't expected the Ender Queen to openly express her feelings toward Xu Yuan in front of everyone.
As for the Gossip Faction and the Chill Faction, their reactions were nothing short of spectacular.
"What?!!!!!!!!"
"Huh??????????"
"You… you like Our King?!!!!!!!!"
"Is… is this something I'm even allowed to hear?!!!"
"Hmph hmph! I knew it all along!! I told you guys before, the aura the Ender Queen gives off when she's with Our King is totally different!!"
"..."
The words the Ender Queen had just spoken were, for them, a piece of explosive news of the highest order.
Even with eight hundred brains they never would have guessed that the Ender Queen would develop feelings for Xu Yuan.
Seeing everyone's expressions, the Ender Queen's pale cheeks took on a slight blush.
She had already prepared herself to face everyone's teasing and jokes, but unexpectedly, their follow-up reactions were outside of what she imagined.
"Though it is surprising, it really does make sense."
"Uh… with someone like her, it really does seem like only Our King could handle her. Cough cough cough…"
"Perfectly reasonable. Our King is so charismatic, so strong, so responsible, if I were a woman, I'd like him too!"
"Exactly. Even as a man, I like Our King! What's the big deal!"
(T/N: 💀)
"Exactly exactly! Even though I'm not human, I like Our King too!"
"No, wait, are you telling us this because you want us to give you advice? No way! Our King belongs to all of us, don't think you can hog him all to yourself!!"
"Right now… isn't really the time to be talking about… feelings, is it?…"
From everyone's reactions, it could be seen clearly that nobody intended to make fun of her. Everyone felt that the Ender Queen liking Xu Yuan was the most natural thing.
Their shock came simply because, to put it bluntly, most people had never really thought of the Ender Queen as a woman.
Seeing their reactions, the Ender Queen let out a secret sigh of relief, and felt much more relaxed.
Looking at them, she finally began to voice her true concerns.
"First, I must emphasize, the reason I told you all this is not because I want you to help me and Our King get together."
"Just as Null said, right now is not the time to be talking about romance."
"Next, this is my own feeling toward Our King. I don't want my feelings to affect my relationship with him, or with you all."
"I feel that just as things are now is already very happy. I have no other desires."
"But at this moment, I still feel confused."
"Because my feelings for Our King have already begun to affect myself…"
"I've realized I lost my former self."
"This is also why the obsidian sword refuses to acknowledge me."
"I don't want to lose this feeling, but I also don't want to lose myself…"
"This time, I cannot depend on Our King, nor can I depend on myself…"
"Now, the only ones I can depend on… are my family."
Although the Ender Queen had never before experienced any feelings of love.
But from observing her past behavior, it was clear she was not the kind of woman who would sink into romance, lose reason, and become a "love-brained fool."
The reason she displayed actions similar to being "love-brained" was mainly because at the start, she had not truly realized that she had developed special feelings toward Xu Yuan.
After all, for someone like her, experiencing love for the first time, it was difficult to control her emotions smoothly.
It was precisely the interaction of these two factors that caused her to occasionally display actions that looked "love-brained."
However, just earlier, when Steve conveyed the doubts raised by the obsidian sword, the Ender Queen was like suddenly awakened by a bucket of cold water, instantly enlightened.
At this moment, she finally recognized the severity of the problem.
Just as she said, as she was now, she already felt incomparably happy and satisfied.
To be able to live in this big family filled with love and warmth, to have a steady, reliable leader deeply trusted and depended upon by all.
She was already very satisfied. She just wanted to stay peacefully together with everyone like this forever.
For the Ender Queen, she had no other desires.
She truly liked Xu Yuan, that was beyond doubt.
After all, people are selfish. When it comes to something or someone they have long desired and dreamed of, who wouldn't want to make it their own?
If Xu Yuan could gladly accept her feelings, and walk with her side by side, she would of course be overjoyed.
However, in that case, it would inevitably shatter the balance of this warm and harmonious family as it was.
One must know, any shift in a relationship will inevitably trigger a chain reaction.
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