Bernar idly toyed with the pendant around his neck as he rode beside me. It was clear that he was deep in thought, but exactly what was going through his mind was something I could neither read nor assume he would even tell me.
Every once in a while, he'd look at me with a slightly worried expression on his face. To be fair, it wasn't really like him to be worried about much of anything. This whole situation, however, was clearly different, as now we both had people close to us to worry about on top of everything else.
I wonder if anything else has got him so deep in thought. Did the Master tell him something that he wasn't ready for? I wondered since I couldn't remember the last time I'd seen him like that.
The forest around us grew thinner, and the wildlife that resided within the forest became increasingly sparse, almost as if they sensed what was coming. I heard a twig snap and glanced around nervously, almost waiting for something to jump out and attack us. When I found the creature to blame for it, I breathed a heavy sigh of relief to know that it was only a small rabbit.
"What's on your mind?" Bernar asked, having pushed aside whatever thoughts he was dwelling on. "Oh, it's nothing really. I'm just a bit nervous, I guess," I lied with a shrug.
I was actually thinking about how I might actually end up fucking dying during the fight that was coming, but I didn't want Meliss to hear me voice those thoughts after having promised her I wouldn't die.
Bernar glanced at me, weighing his words as if he were reading my mind. "Remember what I told you the first day we entered Coltend? Don't think too much about it. It's the mental equivalent of kicking yourself in the balls, and overthinking stuff like that will do you no good at the end of the day," he said, but I felt my mouth grimace in response to his words. "Well, I know that, brother. It's just… I can't help it. I've never been in such a decisive battle before," I said with a heavy sigh.
Meliss had lifted her head off my back to better hear our conversation, but nestled her forehead into the middle of my shoulder blades.
"All battles are decisive, shit bird. They can be fought with weapons, emotions, or even against your own mind," Bernar began. "Even though it may not look like it, the outcome of even the smallest fight can change the course of Fate itself. I don't know if you know this, yet, but everyone is constantly fighting battles we know nothing of," he said, glancing at Meliss briefly.
"However, it's never a good thing to simply bottle them up. It's good to have people you can trust around you, and even better, let those who care about you know that you're struggling with something. You might receive help from the most unexpected of places," he said, glancing over at Leona, who gave him a kind smile.
I hadn't expected such a mature view to come out of my brother's mouth, but I knew, deep down, that he was right.
I took comfort in that thought and could feel Meliss' arms tighten a little around my waist. "You'll be alright," she said in a low, sweet voice. "I hope you're right," I replied, rubbing her hand that was across my lap. "Leona knows her way about the castle. She'll know what to do and where to go. Trust her like she trusts you and your brother," she said comfortingly. "I'll trust her. I promise," I said, rubbing her hand with my own as I thought about what she said briefly.
I gazed off into the distant horizon, where just behind one of the hills, I could see the Palace's peak begin to grow. The early afternoon sun gleamed off the top, reminding me of the lighthouse analogy. I chuckled at the thought of it, as thinking back to a time when things were much simpler and easier brought me at least a little comfort. Deep down, however, I knew that it might be the last time I would get to see such a magnificent sight if things went wrong.
I didn't bother voicing my thoughts and continued riding with the others in silence. However, I noticed Bernar watched as Leona rode by the Master's side, holding a conversation just out of the larger group's earshot. "He must have found it by now," I overheard him say gravely. "If he has, we'll have to move quickly to make sure he doesn't get away with it," Leona began in a hushed voice. "He is more powerful than you think. He is ruthless, cunning, wiser, and possibly more powerful than I could ever have hoped to be," he continued as Leona gave him a strange, confused look.
"From the little I've learned about you, it's unlike you to use such a defeatist tone. I might not know much of anything regarding how to do battle, or strategize for a small army, but I do know that if you go into this fight without the will to win it, then you will fail," Leona chided him, reminding me of the Master whenever he was trying to teach us a lesson.
He held a chagrined smile for a brief moment, almost as if she had just reminded him of one of those lessons. "Thank you, Leona. Your wisdom is always welcome, and I apologize for not being quite myself at the moment," he gave her a shallow nod.
"You have nothing to apologize for. I'm sure that even though you've been through hundreds of battles, you are still human, one who worries for the men and women under your command. It's only natural that you would have doubts before such a decisive moment," she smiled warmly, catching him by surprise at her level of understanding.
"You're absolutely right. We have to focus on what's ahead of us, and do our best to get the outcome we're looking for," he nodded, then returned the warm smile. "However, I wish I shared in your optimism, as achieving that outcome will be no simple task," he said, furrowing his brow a little, causing her to reach out and touch his shoulder lightly. "Trusting in the abilities of those under you; that's how we're going to win," she smiled again.
I never would have guessed she'd be the one to calm him down, I thought, watching as the Master nodded with another grin, and I could tell Bernar was more than proud of her.
We were nearing the great stone walls of the castle when Leona nodded her head to the Master, who signaled us to turn off the path and head deep into the woods.
This must be the way to the passage under the city, I thought.
As we followed behind the Master, we did not say a word to each other. We all knew just how bad it would be if we were discovered sooner than we had hoped, but as the trees seemed to cower away from the malignant presence within the castle walls, I felt a sinking feeling in my gut that I couldn't ignore entirely. It was as though the wild knew our purpose, making our unbeaten path smoother and pulling its roots away from the edges. When we reached a small, disheveled shack a few kilometers away from the walls, the Master signaled a halt.
He dismounted with Leona and Thorsen at his side, following her towards the small, unassuming wooden door that could've been broken with a strong gust of wind. "This is the entrance," I heard her say as they approached the weather-beaten shack. The thatching on the roof was rotten, and the beams that supported the small, wooden house seemed to creak as they neared it.
"Wait here," the Master said, holding up a hand and signaling for my brother and I to come closer. We dismounted quickly and were soon at his side, along with Thorsen, Pyle, and Anwill. "Bernar, get the door," the Master ordered quietly. Bernar nodded his reply and proceeded to the left side of it, drawing the seax from his hip as quietly as he could and holding it at waist height, prepared to stab anything behind the door.
As the door squeaked open, I held my breath as Bernar took the first few steps into the shack. A few moments of utter silence, and a voice came from within. "It's clear," his voice hissed from inside. The Master and Leona were the first inside, followed by Anwill, Thorsen, Pyle, and me closely behind.
"Over there," Leona said, pointing to a small rug covered in years of mold and moss. Bernar quickly tore it from its resting place to find a hidden, wooden door that appeared to lead to an underground passage. He grabbed the iron ring attached to it and pulled the trap door open. I could hear air rush into the exposed hole, though it quickly expelled a foul stench, causing the others and I to immediately scrunch our faces.