Season: Autumn
Weather: No idea. Stuck inside with this irritating burr or a dark shadow lord because he wants to sleep for another day.
Day of the week: Tuesday
Date: 6th March, 2024
I barely slept last night. After going to the toilet, I was carried into the shower and forcefully washed and was forced to help wash a certain irritating burr of a man. He made me cry. I was that upset.
Following that, I was fed whatever was in his fridge because he couldn't be bothered ordering any takeaway food in for me. As a result, I had a bowl of yoghurt with an entire packet of chilli flavoured crisps and a few strips of coriander seed flavoured beef jerky, washed down with a cup of pulpy orange juice.
This morning, breakfast was strangely a fresh and piping hot plum cake with fresh whipped cream and the best vanilla ice-cream I had ever eaten, crumpets and peach slices with well buttered toast. I have to admit, it was a pretty good breakfast. Very filling.
I'm glad it was filling, because the dark shadow lord has hugged me to sleep through lunch. At some stage, I'm wondering whether I should wake him up so that he'll let go of me just so that I can empty my bladder.
I hope he has sent my two bosses a message that he has me, otherwise they'll not be able to concentrate on work and will still be fretting about me. The police probably won't be helping them search until 48 hours have passed. If only there was a way to send them a message.
Oh. You've already informed them. Then that's fine. I guess. Since you're awake, will you let me go to the toilet now? No. Please get your sharp and pointy chin off my shoulder. It hurts and tickles. Yes. Both at the same time.
I'm not talking because I don't want to talk to you and writing my answers annoys you. Gaah. Don't kiss me. Disgusting. Your saliva is all over my face now. Get off. Off.
No. Don't go back to sleep yet. I haven't been to the toilet yet. Look. Fine. I'll talk. I'll talk alright? Happy now?