I roughly wiped my damp face with my sleeve. The sight of myself facing me was ridiculous. Damn it, this was seriously absurd. Maybe it was because I'd gotten punched, but my insides felt all mushy. It was like something that had piled up and piled up until it turned hard and rigid had softened a little. The me being held back by Yoohyun glared at me.
"What are you crying for, like you did something right?!"
…That bastard, seriously.
"What, punk? Then what about you?!"
"Because I'm so fucking frustrated I could burst, that's why!"
"Hey! It's not like I'm perfectly fine either! It's not like I can split myself open and show you!"
"Then split it open! Go on, split it open!"
"If your insides are bursting that badly, I'll split them open for you nice and good!"
"H-hyung."
"Didn't you say we should go outside? Fine, let's go, let's go! I'll kill you first—you little shit, no, me little shit—and then I'll go!"
"Oh, really? What am I, some punching bag with no hands or feet? Hey! I've got way more field experience than you, got it? How far have you even gone into dungeons!"
"What builds up in your body counts as experience too! You blew it all to hell, and now you want to talk about experience?"
"Do you not know what gear advantage is? You can cover for it with equipment!"
"You dirty, underhanded bastard!"
Yoohyun looked helplessly back and forth between the me he was holding and the me standing a little apart from us. I felt sorry for my little brother, but if Yoohyun hadn't come, I'd have grabbed that bastard by the hair and ripped into him. Just look at that temper. When someone loses a precious little brother and cries, basic human decency says you comfort them, doesn't it? Of course, if I'd been him, I probably would've cursed too.
"Did you fling your conscience all the way back to the Stone Age when you came back to the past?! Even an Australopithecus that couldn't wipe its own ass would be more decent than you!"
"It's not like I'm doing this because I want to!"
It wasn't as though I'd asked for so much. But I kept having my little brother taken away from me, didn't I? If there really was a god, I wanted to ask. Is separating me from my little brother fun? Huh? Both me and Yoohyun just want to stay together, so what exactly is the problem? Does it entertain you to force us apart? Or do you just hate us that much?
It hadn't been a year or two—we'd been separated for eight whole years, and then that happened in the end, and on top of that some damn kidnapper showed up and carried him off, and even after all that there were still mountain after mountain of trouble left. So wasn't I allowed to want to prepare for that? Did they think I didn't know this was absolutely not a good method?
"I'm having a hard time too, you bastard!"
"Hyung…"
Yoohyun made a tearful face. No, that's not it, it's just—
"No, Yoohyun, I'm talking to that asshole. I want to spend my whole life peacefully with my little brother tucked beside me too, you know? He's the one who should understand how I feel!"
"Then do that!"
"Easy for you to say!"
"That's my wish too, but, um, hyung."
"Yoohyun, try letting him go for a second. I'll talk to him. I'll use words."
"Yeah, I won't start swinging knives, so just let go for a second and go wait outside."
Yoohyun hugged my pre-regression self even tighter. Look at him, meekly staying in Yoohyun's arms after yelling at me. That fake little innocent act of his. Someone seeing this would think he was the poor blameless victim. Meanwhile the slash marks and spear marks in the floor were still perfectly visible.
"Stop hiding behind our little brother and get out here right now!"
"It's not behind him, it's in front of him!"
"That's not something to be proud of!"
"…Han Yoojin-gun?"
"I won't use any dirty equipment! I'll match us with just our stats, so let's see whether my experience was worthless or not—ah, let me go!"
Sung Hyunjae grabbed me and pulled me backward.
"For heaven's sake, what a life."
"Your life is my life!"
"Your lip's split."
"Fuck, if you regressed, you should've at least learned to live better! What the hell have you even been doing, Han Yoojin?!"
"I'm your future, you bastard!"
"Hyung, should we go make dinner? Okay? Let's not fight."
The two of us—me and me—snapped our mouths shut at once. We had to feed the kid. The others would be coming soon too, including Director Song.
"Let's go, hyung. The kitchen here is really nice."
Yoohyun soothed my pre-regression self and led him out of the lounge first. Just look at that, following along all docile. That ruined bastard. No, a bastard who was already ruined.
"At this rate it'll swell. And you can't even use a potion."
"It's not like I make a living off my face, so it doesn't matter."
Come to think of it, that bastard had become me, yet I was the only one who got hit. That was unfair. I should've punched him once too. I wanted to chase after him even now, but Sung Hyunjae wouldn't let me go. Then he carried the struggling me toward the hotel front desk.
"There should be first-aid supplies."
"I'm telling you, I'm really fine."
Sung Hyunjae set me down on top of the desk and found a first-aid kit. Click—the lid opened, and he took out disinfectant.
"I'll say this first: that was unfortunate."
"What, my little brother dying? That's very kind of you. Sung Hyunjae-ssi in the ruins didn't care whether Yoohyun died or not."
"So I was cold."
"Oh, come on. The Sung Hyunjae-ssi now probably feels pretty much the same inside, doesn't he?"
The only difference was that now he was at least considering how I felt. The disinfectant touched the corner of my mouth. It stung.
"To be honest, it's because Han Yoojin-gun would get angry."
"What if I said I wanted to know your honest impression? About the sight of me now, and all this other stuff."
Without saying anything, Sung Hyunjae finished treating my injury.
"Yoohyun died because of me. That's why I regressed. I did reconcile with my little brother too, but in the end, a brother who already died… you can't really undo that."
"Han Yoojin-gun."
"If you're going to say it wasn't my fault, then just don't say anything. I know it couldn't be helped. The situation was too harsh and too difficult to say I was simply lacking. I was just ordinary. But even so, he's my little brother."
Even if, coldly speaking, it wasn't my fault. Even if I'd only gotten dragged into it.
"There were no S-ranks or F-ranks, no transcendent beings or destruction or any of that bullshit—he was just my little brother. So I couldn't protect him, I couldn't take care of him, and I couldn't keep him safe."
That deserved to get me cursed out, didn't it? A laugh escaped me.
"That bastard asked why I was still alive, but he'd do the same thing himself. Even knowing full well how I ended up like this, he still wouldn't be able to let go. I really should've punched him too."
"I did once consider getting rid of Han Yoohyun and Bak Yerim."
While putting away the first-aid kit, Sung Hyunjae spoke quietly. I had asked for his honest impression, but wow, that was a little too honest.
"It would have been easier that way to secure Han Yoojin. And I was curious what kind of Han Yoojin would remain then. The kind who would collapse completely, and the kind who would somehow endure and keep standing. And in either case, I would have been able to draw him to my side."
"If that had been anyone else, I'd have already shoved a knife into their throat. Seriously."
"Am I an exception?"
"Because I wouldn't do that now. Not anymore."
Even as I said it, my chest still lurched a little. Sung Hyunjae lifted the corner of his lips slightly.
"To tell the truth, I still do not particularly like how excessively entangled you are with Han Yoohyun. Especially now that even a dead person has been added to it."
"If I lose Yoohyun again, I'm seriously dead. I've already had too much taken from me, so I'm falling to pieces. You saw how his eyes turned and how he came at me with a knife earlier, right? He wasn't even thinking of me as himself anymore. That's exactly how I feel. Humanly speaking, it's just not okay to take my little brother away from me."
I had no idea where he'd found them, but Sung Hyunjae held out some wet wipes to me. I pulled one out and wiped away the tear tracks.
"I promise."
Looking up at me, Sung Hyunjae continued.
"That under no circumstances, in any manner whatsoever, will I ever take Han Yoohyun away from Han Yoojin."
"…Can I really trust Sung Hyunjae-ssi on that?"
"For all I may seem otherwise, I am the sort who keeps the promises I make, so do believe me."
Sung Hyunjae hopped up and sat beside me on the desk, crossing his legs. The tip of his dress shoe swung playfully.
"Therefore, I will not promise not to take hyung away from the young master."
"What are you even talking about? What if Yoohyun attacks you over that? Are you saying you won't even fight back? Since it'd be bad if anything happened to my little brother?"
"I'd have to quickly hide behind Han Yoojin-gun."
Without meaning to, I pictured it and burst out laughing. No matter how much he crouched down, he wouldn't even be fully hidden.
"After everything's over. Once everything is really settled. If you did that then, it might actually be funny."
"After everything is over, then."
"I want to live peacefully for a while. Days where the biggest incidents are just Chirpie raiding the kitchen, or Yoohyun and Yerim picking fights. Days where it feels wasteful that time is passing, but not frightening."
And, and…
"My little brother is by my side."
Both of them.
"If anything, that sounds like a modest wish."
"And even so, it's hard. What about you, Sung Hyunjae-ssi?"
I turned to look at him.
"If everything ends well, I mean. If there's no more getting dragged out, and you become truly free. Is there anything you want?"
Sung Hyunjae tilted his head.
"Well…"
Unexpectedly, the answer did not come quickly. Rare for him, he looked as though he genuinely didn't know.
"This one is difficult."
"Difficult?"
"Are there even that many things I would call difficult enough to achieve that I'd name them as wishes?"
…Must be nice, seriously. Well, if even the Crescent Moon matter got resolved, what would there be that Sung Hyunjae couldn't do? Even now he was living exactly as he pleased.
"How about making Director Song sincerely happy to receive a free SS-rank piece of equipment?"
"You are telling me to attempt the impossible. Still, that does sound somewhat inte—"
"Canceled, canceled! Director Song, I'm sorry!"
This mouth of mine. This damned mouth.
"Wouldn't it be nice if Sung Hyunjae-ssi just tried living peacefully too? You've been through too much, so you probably get tired of it unconsciously, but if you think of this world as the last place you'll ever drift through, even an ordinary day might start to feel special."
Simply because this place is the last one.
"Living out each day ordinarily… ah."
Come to think of it, unlike most people, there were things Sung Hyunjae had never done, weren't there? Making friends, and dating. As for friends, there were me and Director Song, but what about dating? Even if he was freed from Crescent Moon, everything piled up inside him would still remain as it was, so unless the other person was a transcendent, it wouldn't work.
"…Do you happen to like older women?"
"…Older women?"
"As in, for a romantic partner. Dating."
"If I had to choose, I suppose someone around a similar age would be preferable."
"Thirty, forty?"
Though for him, you'd probably have to add at least a thousand years to that. He did have things piled up inside him too, but still, mm.
"So someone much older is still a no?"
"I have no intention of dating anyone in the first place, but if I were to answer, then perhaps that would be better than someone too young. Young children are usually not very good conversation partners. If conversation does not flow well, then a meeting is not enjoyable either."
So if the other person was someone easy to talk to, even an older partner was okay. Crescent Moon didn't really seem like that type. Though I'd never met them. Still, unexpectedly wholesome views on romance.
"What about appearance? I assume a humanoid type is better? Would built-in tentacles still be acceptable? As long as they don't come out, it should be fine."
Tentacles seemed to be in fashion, after all. Myeongwoo, don't let the new recruit talk you into anything. I was worried.
"How humanoid does someone have to be before they're acceptable? Animal ears, horns, wings—those are fine, right? You'd probably prefer two normal arms and two normal legs. I doubt you discriminate based on skin color, though. Blue or red, ow!"
Sung Hyunjae, who had been staring fixedly at me, grabbed my ear and twisted it hard. It wasn't enough to injure me, apparently, since even Grace didn't activate.
"I have no interest in blue or red."
Hmm, maybe I had gone a little too far after all. Rubbing my twisted ear, I absentmindedly jumped down from the desk and nearly fell over. Sung Hyunjae quickly caught me. He'd left the umbrella behind and seemed about to carry me, but I declined and accepted only his support as we headed toward the restaurant. In the open kitchen, I could see Yoohyun and me.
"The seaweed."
"Over there."
My pre-regression self pointed at the bowl full of water. It was soaking.
"Mr. Sung Hyunjae, could you cover the entrance with the fabric?"
"There is still time, so I shall stay here. In case I need to separate the two of you again if you grab each other by the collar."
"We're not going to fight."
We weren't children. After washing my hands, I picked up the kitchen knife to cut the meat, and Yoohyun glanced at me carefully. Sung Hyunjae, seated at a table outside the kitchen, also watched me like he was observing some specimen. I'm not going to stab anyone.
"Yoohyun, you should go sit down too."
"No. It's hard for you to move around, hyung. I'll at least help. The kitchen's big, too."
What a good kid. I cut the meat into suitable pieces and drained the blood from it. Meanwhile, my pre-regression self was washing rice.
"Since the electricity works, does that mean the rice cooker works too? How many servings is this thing even for?"
"Well, it is a restaurant. They had mixed grains here—should I put some in?"
"You ask like you don't already know."
What I was thinking wasn't exactly hard to guess. Where's the sesame oil?
"Why did you buy snacks? No wonder you ended up like this."
"I bought them for the kids, okay?"
"You said people are always feeding you snacks whenever they see you."
Y-Yoohyun, you… My little brother slightly avoided my eyes.
"They said Hunter Bak Yerim, Hunter Kang Soyoung, and even the Breaker Guild Leader all got together and went out eating sweets with you. Nice life you've got, Han Yoojin."
"No, that, I didn't say we should go! And Noah was there too. Honestly, it's way bette—"
Because of my brother, I couldn't say it was better than going around getting drunk. Damn it! That bastard had thrown his body around just as much as I had! Sensing exactly what I was feeling, the me who was me lifted the corner of his mouth in a mocking sneer.
"Unlikeable bastard!"
"Your bad luck and my bad luck are the same."
"That's true."
Yeah, we'd had rotten luck. Me and me laughed at the same time.
"Life's been rough."
"Still, it was good before the dungeons appeared."
"It was hard, but it was still good."
At the same time, both of us turned to look at Yoohyun. Yoohyun reflexively smiled brightly.
"I really shouldn't have stopped at just one punch."
"That's why you swung a knife, didn't you? Came at me like you were trying to kill me."
"If someone who regressed still can't dodge something like that, then he ought to die. So what? Was my experience worthless after all?"
"And now you say that after acting like you knew I could dodge it? If I were me, I'd have stabbed me and told me to just die too."
"Are you asking me to stab you even now?"
"Can't you see Yoohyun's getting nervous? Let's do it barehanded. Hey, put in more rice. That won't be enough. Look how many people there are."
"I've been living alone."
Yeah. You had. While going to get more rice, my pre-regression self stepped down hard on my foot as he passed. I chased after him and kicked him in the shin. With a grunt, the me who was me grabbed the kitchen knife.
"Hyung! No weapons!"
Even Sung Hyunjae stood up from his seat. I put down the knife and grabbed the lobster sitting in the sink, then hurled it at myself. It came flying in with a vicious force that showed off its slightly higher rank, but Yoohyun quickly snatched it out of the air and set it down on the counter.
"Don't throw food, you bastard!"
"Buying this kind of thing means your stomach's gotten too fat!"
"It was free!"
"So? You hadn't even tried it before?"
"It's not that. Just wash more rice."
Still, since we were the same person, we worked together well. A little too well, to the point where we ended up grabbing each other by the collar at the same time more than once, but no knives came out. I knew we shouldn't keep doing this in front of my little brother, but honestly, my heart felt lighter. After a while, Yoohyun seemed to realize that I was getting fairly comfortable with myself, and relaxed too.
As the rice finished cooking, as the seaweed soup simmered, and when there wasn't long left before sunset, signs of people could be felt in the hotel lobby.
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