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"E...excuse me" A nervous voice said, Harry who was sitting in the library and waiting for Delphi had looked up to see two Slytherin girls standing in front of him. Their names were Daphne Greengrass and Tracy Davis if he remembered them correctly
"Can I help you?" Harry asked
"W...well I'm Daphne Greengrass and this is Tracy Davis" Daphne introduced herself and her friend "uh...as you know, we're Slytherin's in your year and we've been present every time you came to our common room."
"I miss the part that answered my question, how can I help you?" Harry repeated, Daphne and Tracy looked a bit more nervous
"W...well, we were hoping to become your friends" Tracy said
"What? You want to be my friends?" Harry snorted "Cut to the chase and tell me what you want"
"But we are..."
"Cut to the chase" Harry interrupted "or stop wasting my time"
"Okay, fine" Daphne sighed "you're strong and dangerous and all of Slytherin is scared of you, me and Tracy are having a hard time in Slytherin. Tracy because she's a half-blood and me because the boys want me because of my family name and fortune. We were hoping that with you as an ally, we'd..."
"Have less trouble from the other Slytherin's" Harry finished for her "see, that wasn't so hard. Now first of all, you know that I plan to leave this bloody school the second my fifth year is finished?"
"Yes but that won't stop the Slytherin's from being scared of you" Tracy replied "if we just threaten them with you popping in to pay a visit then they'll back off. Plus, if you're interested then we really will be your friends"
"I have more friends than I could be bothered with at the moment" Harry sighed "but Delphi has been bothering me about not making friends, so I suppose we're friends. Quick question, don't I scare you?"
"Oh you absolutely terrify us" Daphne reassured him
"But we figured it's better to be with you than against you" Tracy added
"Hi Harry" Delphi said as she walked up to them
"Delphi, I made two friends" Harry gestured to Daphne and Tracy
"What?!" Delphi blurted out in shock
"That's right" Harry grinned "Friendship motherfucker"
"Harry that's brilliant!"
"And you doubted me" Harry smirked
"Harry, you doubted yourself" Delphi reminded him "you said you'd never be able to make friends"
"And I just proved myself wrong" Harry realised "Damn it!"
Harry found himself sitting in defence class with Delphi at his side plus Tracy and Daphne behind him. Lockhart entered and Harry couldn't help roll his eyes as he saw Lockhart walk by a painting of Lockhart making another painting of Lockhart. Harry thought that the man was a bit too clean and happy for someone who has apparently been constantly fighting dark creatures and wizards.
"Well, let's if you're right about him being a useless idiot" Delphi whispered to him
"A galleon says I am" Harry whispered back
"You're on" Delphi shook his hand, signifying her acceptance
"Look at Granger" Daphne gestured to Hermione Granger who was swooning at the very sight of him. Harry wasn't sure if he should pity the man or laugh.
"Let me introduce you to your new defence against the dark arts teacher, me" Lockhart started "Gilderoy Lockhart, order of Merlin, third class. Honorary member of the dark force defence league and five time winner of witch weekly's most charming smile award" Lockhart flashed his bright teeth at the class.
"Oh sweet Merlin" Harry sighed, he turned over to Delphi, clearly expecting her to hand him a galleon.
"What?" She hissed "He hasn't done anything to prove he's useless yet. Ask at the end of the lesson"
"But I don't talk about that" Lockhart continued "I didn't get rid of the Bandon banshee by smiling at her" He took a moment to laugh at his own joke, even though nobody laughed "I see you've all brought a complete set of my books, well done. Oh...wait, Mr Potter, do you not have any of my books?"
"Nope" Harry shook his head
"Ah well, you can buy some later" Lockhart smiled at him
"Hell no" Harry coughed into his hand, only Delphi, Tracy and Daphne were able to hear him.
"I thought we'd start today with a little quiz, nothing to worry about. Just to see how well you've read them and how well you've taken them in"
"Look at this" Daphne said once Lockhart had handed over the test papers and moved far enough away to not hear her "it's all about him"
"The first question is actually asking about his favourite colour" Harry said slowly with disbelief in his voice "who...in...the hell...gives...a...shit?"
"You have thirty minutes" Lockhart said from the front of the classroom "Begin"
"Tut, tut" Lockhart looked through the finished test results "hardly any of you remembered that my favourite colour is lilac. But Miss Hermione Granger knew that my secret ambition is to rid the world of evil and market my own range of hair care products, good." He winked at her, she looked ready to faint.
"Did he say 'tut-tut'?" Harry asked Delphi "Please tell me that motherfucker did not say tut-tut. I hate tut-tut!"
"Don't ask" Delphi mouthed to Daphne and Tracy who looked very confused
"Now" Lockhart continued, ignorant "perhaps if you'd all like then we can act out a few scenes from the book. Mr Potter, come to the front"
"What?" Harry blinked
"Come up to the front, you can help me act out this scene" Lockhart smiled at Harry, only to be met with a rather intense stare from the boy himself. The stare continued for several moments, maybe even a minute or two, Lockhart found himself feeling extremely uncomfortable under the gaze of the green eyed boy in front of him
"I am not afraid to kill you" Harry eventually said in a calm yet threatening voice "also if I hear the words 'tut-tut' come out of you again then I will rip your hair off and make you eat it" all Slytherin's in the room had involuntarily gulped and shivered, knowing full well what Harry could do when he felt like it. The Hufflepuff's were rather surprised, the Ravenclaw's not so much, the Gryffindor's didn't really like Lockhart. At least that was true for the boys, girls from pretty much each house were glaring at Harry or in shock of his words. Especially Hermione Granger, though that didn't surprise anyone.
"He really doesn't like tut..." Tracy started only to stop when Harry's head snapped towards her "that word" She corrected "he doesn't like that word"
"It's a long story" Delphi sighed "also I think it's words, not word"
"W...well...I see that you're not feeling up to it" Lockhart replied, not noticing that he actually taken a step back "how about another volunteer? Um...Mr Weasley!"
"Me?!" Ron looked at him in shock
"Yes!" Lockhart smiled "You'll do, you'll do nicely. You're perfect"
"Gay" Harry coughed, once again causing the girls to glare at him
What followed was what Harry would describe as the most pathetic thing he had ever seen, horrible and enthusiastic overacting from Lockhart combined with terrible and unenthusiastic underacting from Ron with a ridiculous story. Though Harry kept himself entertained by imaging burning Lockhart's hair.
"Now" Lockhart said after that insult to acting was over and Ron had returned to his seat "be warned, it's my job to arm you against the foulest creatures known to wizard kind, you may find yourself facing your worst fears in this room. Know only, that no harm can befall you, whilst I am here. I must ask you not to scream, it might provoke them!" Lockhart dramatically lifted a cloth off a cage, revealing a cage full of pixies.
"Cornish Pixies'?" Seamus Finnegan laughed
"Freshly caught Cornish pixies" Lockhart corrected "laugh if you will Mr Finnegan but Pixies can be devilishly tricky little blighters. Let's see what you make of them" Lockhart opened the cage, allowing the pixies to fly out.
All of a sudden the classroom was in chaos, the pixies flew around and began damaging everything. They ripped books, pulled hair, threw whatever they could. Neville ended up dangling from a chandelier after the pixies painfully dragged him up by his ears. Many of the class began running out of the classroom, Lockhart tried to stop the pixies but one of them snatched his wand. Lockhart ran but stopped at the doorway.
"Could you all round them up please?" He said before he bolted out..
"Get off me!" One student punched one pixie
"Now what are we supposed to do?" Ron asked as he slapped one away with a book.
"That man is an idiot" Harry growled
"Don't insult him!" Hermione replied "He's probably just trying to give us some hands on experience"
"Hands on experience?" Fay repeated "Granger have you gone mental?"
"I don't know about 'gone', I assume she was born that way" Harry said as he aimed his wand in the air, a spell shot out of it and the Pixies stopped moving. They froze in midair, floating around the room. The class had gone silent
"Harry! That was non-verbal!" Fay exclaimed in shock and awe, looks that were mirrored by the rest of the class
"I know" Harry said as he lowered his wand "it was my spell after all"
"When did you learn non-verbal casting?" Dean Thomas, a Gryffindor boy asked
"Last summer" Harry shrugged
"You can't have, it's a sixth year skill, there's no way you could have learnt that in a single summer on your own" Hermione Granger said
"No way you could've" Harry replied "some of us are actually smart Granger"
"Harry" Delphi said before the two could start arguing "someone might want to get Neville down"
"Fine" Harry sighed, he aimed his wand at Neville then slowly levitated the boy down from the chandiller
"Thanks Harry" Neville's voice was soft and quiet, he looked like he wanted to say something but stopped himself.
"You're welcome now if you excuse me, I'm off"
"Wait a minute" Hermione said as Harry began to make his way out "what about the pixies?"
"What about them?" Harry asked
"You have to help us put them away"
"Do I?" Harry asked "I'm pretty sure I don't. I stopped them, that's my contribution. You want to put them back then do it yourselves" Harry left the room with Delphi, Daphne and Tracy following him. Soon the rest of the students began walking out, leaving just Hermione to put away all the pixies.
"That was horrible" Delphi sighed
"Yep, it's also about to get worse, where's my galleon?" Harry held his hand out
"I don't have it on me" Delphi sighed
"Fine, don't worry about it, Shadow's currently in our room and taking one from your money box. You shouldn't have left it open by the way"
"What?!"