I lay awake awake next to a sleeping Victor, the sound of his breathing like a lullaby to my ears.
He had drifted off a few hours ago but I was too distracted to sleep, too aware of his body next to mine.
We lay next to each other on my single bed, him facing the wall and me facing the ceiling.
I slowly got out of the bed, not wanting to wake him, and made my way to the bathroom across the hall, tip toeing as I went.
Opening the lonely cabinet, I reached in, feeling around in the dark for a moment for a small cardboard box which held my sleeping medication.
My fingers brushed against it and I took it out, carefully opening it and shaking the the tray of medication from its home. My fingers nimbly popped out a capsule onto the palm of my hand, so used to the motion that it was muscle memory now.
I opened my mouth and swallowed it dry before replacing the box and making my way back into my bedroom, walking slowly with my hand trailing the wall so that I wouldn't trip.
I made my way to my room and squeezed through the gap beyween the door and the frame, gently closing it behind me.
Something felt off.
I looked up and through the dark, i was met with Victor's sleepy gaze, surprised to find a pout on his face.
"Where did you go?" He mumbled, rubbing his eyes. "I woke up and you weren't here..."
He sounded sad, innocent like a puppy waking from its nap to find its owner had left it.
So cute.
"I went to the toilet. I'm back now." The lie came as easily to breathing, but with it also came the pain of a thousand needles.
He smiled as he heard that, his eyes squinting slightly and dimples appearing on his cheeks.
I made my way back to the bed and lay down next to him, starting to feel somewhat drowsy as the sleeping pills started to kick in.
Victor hummed and pulled me closer to him so he was spooning me, the sudden contact making me freeze.
"So warm..." he muttered against my hair, his words slurring together as he drifted off back to sleep.
I felt a small smile form on my face as I relaxed into his hold on me, my body feeling like it was on a cloud as i started to drift off, too.