Cold.
The first memory I had—no the first thing I felt in this world, was cold. From the moment of my birth to the first night I slept—there was only cold.
It was one of the many things I had begun to feel, along with constant pain and hunger. My feet and ass started to feel cold just from sitting on the cold bench, not to mention my clothes were not meant to be worn outside in this bitter cold. But if I didn't leave the house in hurry then whatever illegal modification she may have had done on Axel, could have prompt it to actually kill me. And I was not too keen on finding out whether it could follow those commands or not.
Pain continued to spike through my kidney and back, and whenever I moved my right arm a little, it hurt like hell. My neck on the other hand felt like it was burning. *Sigh*
'Fucking hell, she nearly chocked me to death.' I feel around my neck and try to speak to get an idea how bad the damage was, feeling a stinging sensation.
"Ahh, ch-check, check *Cough*" I immediately started to cough, but my voice sounded fine? well it was a little raspy. I would be fine after few days. But there was one problem, where should he go? He couldn't stay outside atleast not with the thin clothes he was wearing, he wouldn't even survive one night.
'Fuck, fuck. I should have done anything and everything to convince Brian. Shit, this is what always happens when I am kind to others, I should have stuck with manipulating Brian and get as much as I could out of him. Now I am stuck here, in this playground alone and no place to go... wait, where is everyone?'
I immediately turn to look at the big digital clock near the entrance. 23:34pm, 13/10/13.
'It is already late, there should be some people sleeping on these benches. Where are they?...' suddenly the conversation he had heard in the hospital toilet comes to mind.
'Wait a second, don't tell me. Those rumors have reached this area as well? if not there should atleast be few people...' I turn and thoroughly search the playground with my eyes, and see all benches were empty. I immediately get up and start to walk around, feeling my warmth sap away as I walk bare foot.
'Ah, goddamnit. I—I need to get to Antonio's house. I already remember the way, so that's the easy part.' Determined I exit the playground, only to stop infront of a garbage bin for public use. A thought passes by, to search through the bin for any thrown shoes, but I shake such thoughts and walk bare footed, one step at a time.
This cold was really starting to get me, every time I stepped I could feel the cold. And if I tried to run, it would cause pain to spike from my injury and also the cold breeze sent shivers. Determined I walked through any alley ways I could find, avoiding the main roads.
The area around Antonio's home was a dangerous place, the days I had spent in Antonio's house suggested that it was a dangerous area at night. As he would never leave the house, but he had assured me that people knew his place and made sure to not mess with his home. That meant just travelling to his home would be the hard part.
I had already covered half-distance walking through network of alley ways, only to hear a person loudly talking.
"Goddamn it, I have to pee man. I am always the one to go on patrol, just—just give me a minute. I will be quick."
I hear quickened footsteps approaching from the corner ahead, immediately I search around the alley way for a place to hide but there was only large green dumpsters filled with trash and trash in pile near it. I search for other place but there were only doors closed, hearing the footsteps coming closer.
'I don't have enough time to take out trash from the dumpster. Shit!'
I immediately dive into trash pile and cover myself with the trash bags. Making sure that I was clearly hidden from sight and then cover my face. I try to slow down my quickened breathing to make it less obvious and also because it stank, it stank soo bad I nearly barfed at the first breath. But I somehow held it in even as I felt something wet sticking to me.
"Ahh~ man its fucking cold."
I hear a soft sound of liquid splashing against the wall, in a stream. I wait in impatience, holding my breath. Slowly a sound turns to trickling and then stops, to hear the man moan. Which was disturbing to hear.
"Damn, that was a good piss."
"Hey! You coming out or what? I don't have time for your bullshit." says another man.
"I—I am coming man, just wait!" hearing the sound of zip, as he whispers just loud enough for me to hear, "Fucking bastard, can't even let me take a piss in peace."
Hearing a quick retreat of footsteps as it slowly becomes soft, "How much time do you take just to piss? If I didn't had to wait for your every distraction, I could have completed this patrol and gone to meet, Rosy."
"Look man, I always work by myself. If I knew you would come I would..." their voices slowly become soft until I am not able hear anything, but I still wait.
'Maybe it is a trap. This piss man could have seen me or something and that's why he was talking so loudly. I should just wait until the coast is clear... but what if they are call their buddies.' I constantly second guess myself, only to then finally decide to check slowly whether they are truly gone or not.
Slowly and carefully, I remove the garbage bags sticking to me. Hiding behind the dumpster, I peek and see the coast clear. I crouch walk and get to the corner and check both corners for any person. Seeing this coast clear as well, a sigh leaves my body. Only to choke on the smell as it seemed to be stuck to my clothes, the smell of rotting food and whatever disgusting things were in that pile of trash.
'Fuck. I thought that I was gone, but I am glad that those guys are not thorough. But why are they patrolling? They definitely aren't police, so are these the kidnappers? No! there is no time to waste I need to move quickly and get to Antonio's house.' I immediately make a run for the next alley way after making sure the road was clear a second time.
I quicken my pace, feeling unnerved as if someone was chasing me. but not before always checking if path was clear of any strangers. I come across a long alleyway and run as it took weird corners and curves, with tall concrete walls sometimes other times there were fences.
Finally I come across a door with faint light spilling out from it, in this long maze-like alley way there were many doors but this was the only one I had seen with lights. Slowing down, glance back to see a long way back. I could go back and try to find another way but it would take too long and this was the final alley way to reach Antonio's house. Seeing that I only needed to pass by that door, but something in my mind was constantly itching, that something bad was going to happen if I tried to sneak past it.
'Fuck, it looks like one of those forced events in video games. I fucking bet my entire writing career, that the moment I try to sneak past that door, some fucker would conventionally decide open it, at that exact moment and see me sneaking past. And I would have a whole group of kidnappers chasing my ass.'
I huff and turn back deciding to find another path. Better to take the long way then the one with certain failure. Making my way back halfway I hear muffled sound of footsteps, stopping me in my tracks. I glance around in hurry, for someplace to hide but there was nothing but tall walls of concrete. With a groan I turn back, quickly and quietly pacing towards the door of my doom.
Thankfully, there were dumpsters near as that fucking door 180° wide—open. Noises drifted from inside, glancing back where the patrols were coming from, there was nothing but flickering of street light.
'Great. Once again, I have to climb into the pile of garbage and smell the nastiest shit.' I open the dumpster as there was no pile of trash bags outside it for me to hide with.
*Squeak, Squeak*
Suddenly the rats inside the dumpster explode with motion trying to escape, scrambling and slamming against the dumpster alerting the other rats. Beer bottles perched on one of the other dumpster crash down from sudden movement, making a loud shattering sound. Immediately alerting everything in the vicinity.
Hearing this, sounds of hurried footsteps echoed from inside the open room. In haste I close the lid and hide behind the open door, not daring to go inside the dumpster. The rats constantly bang inside the dumpster, trying to escape.
'Fuck, fuck, fuck. If I die here it would be the stupidest death ever. Just because of fucking rats—' a sound of running footsteps come from path I had taken. As I hear a similar voice.
"Ah, man it's just Jordy. What the hell man, I thought there was a shootout or something."
I hear a series of footsteps closest to my hiding spot as someone walks towards what I presume was the dumpster.
*Bang*
It sounded like a someone had kicked something metallic, just from that rats seemed to go wild. Squeaking loudly, thrashing inside the dumpster.
"Ah, I guess it was just bunch of rats."
"You always want to be in shootout, Open it Simon." a rough voice spoke, it sounded more like the partner of piss man.
"What the hell, I am hungry from all that walk. I don't wanna go anywhere near that sh—"
Interrupting him, his partner repeated, his tone serious "Open it and you can just wash your hands later. Open it!"
Simon started to open the dumpsters one by one, each time sending the rats into more panic and repeating, "Clear."
Until he got to the final dumpster, the one closest to my hiding spot.
"...Clear! Look I told you it was pointless. *Sigh* Jordy, go get me a broom. Since Lan has decided to make me open them, I might as well clean the glass shards."
"Hmph, you are just trying to avoid your night shift. Well whatever, clean these up quick. I want you in the meeting room, they have delivered the packages. Be quick."
Both Jordy and Lan, walk inside the room. Closing the door with them.
'Fuuuuccckkk...' Scared shitless, I freeze up. Watching Simon as he gazes back at me and then goes back to clearing the glass shards, seeming to ignoring my presence.
I slowly inch away from him, preparing to run as fast as my tiny legs could take me.
Only to freeze again as his gaze locks onto me. He gestures me to run, as if waiting for someone to give a signal, I take off. Not daring to look back, for if it was a vicious joke then they might try to hunt me down for fun, but as long as I reached Antonio's home I would be safe. As long as I reach it.
Panting, somehow I was able reach his home. As there were no patrols near his house, but it made sense if he was the one who repaired their vehicles and was the information provider. They wouldn't wanna be on his bad side.
*Sting*
"Ugh! sh—shit I—need to work—on my stam—ina." barely able to speak, hearing my own heart—beat loudly in my ears from the physical exertion
Slowly my adrenaline level begins to drop, at the same time I begin to feel all my injuries, and new ones like on my feet. Standing against the metal gate I balance myself to see bleeding cuts on the soles of my feet, caused either by the stones in the playground or glass shards. Whenever I moved a burning sensation filled by limbs, utterly exhausted from the running without stopping unable to even muster strength, but I was here. I was finally here.
I look around and start to climb the metal gate. It isn't exactly tall, but it was tall for a kid like me. Barely able to hold onto the metal railings, careful not to slip as I make my way down. Making my way towards the car elevator I push the button to first floor, watching the elevator door close.
Only then does relief spread through my body, tension finally easing. I walk towards overhead garage, speaking into the smart doorbell.
"Brother Ant are *Cough* *Cough* you there? It's me Arwin."
I wait a few seconds, feeling my breathing somewhat return to normal. Suddenly the garage door opens, I head in still cautious from nearly being caught. But I observe Antonio standing, seeing my state he hurries towards me.
"What happened to you kid? Who did this to you? I swear—No come in kid, take a bath. I will help you clean the wounds-"
"No-o, I will take a ba-th by myself *Cough* just give me sometime—to rest." my voice comes out raspy, I feel his gaze on my neck. I slowly walk towards the bathroom leaving a trail of bloody footprints.
"Clean your wounds with an antiseptic and not with soap, you will feel it burning but that is a good thing, it is in mirror cabinet. and.."
I close the bathroom door tiredly and take off my stinking clothes, dumping them in the corner. Seeing myself in the mirror, a red handprint on my neck with bruises along my right arm. Slowly I clean the wound on the soles of my feet, giving me a burning sensation. After which I wash myself and step out to see Con clearing up the bed and a box of first Aid kit on the bed, Antonio offers me my spare clothes I had left here for whenever I would need them after my lessons on how to fix a car.
Nodding with gratitude, I wear them quickly being careful not bloody them, Con walks up to me and gives clean bandages and antiseptic cream to Antonio. I sit on the floor at his gesture as he begins to apply the cream on the cuts and bandages them with expert ease. I barely even feel he had applied the cream, he was quite a good, too good even.
"You know we always made Brian steal things, but he was not particularly a very good one. He was just very quick and was natural to parkour. But the days he got caught, I would be the one to bandage him to remind myself that it was not me doing the dangerous work but him."
If this was his attempt to distract me, I was glad to have someone to talk, someone I could vent to.
"Did he—did Brian ever hate it?"
"I—don't know, he never blamed us. He is just accepted it, and did the stealing without a complaint."
"Hah,*Cough* he is too good for his own sake."
"That I can agree with."
An awkward silence falls as he had bandaged me and was working to put some kind of ointment on my bruised neck.
"Wh—what about you? Did you blame yourself?"
He meets my gaze, then goes back to applying ointment.
"I promised myself that he would never get hurt because of my poor planning, so me and some of us scouted the place before stealing and made plans how to do it. They were plain and stupid plans but they worked in most cases. After which it was Brian's job to steal it and make a run, and if by some misfortune he did get caught then we would come running to save him. It was better for all us to take the beating than for him to endure it all alone, and you know what that dunce said to us after we got our ass beaten to save his?"
Arwin cocks an eyebrow, gesturing for him to continue.
"You guys shouldn't have interfered, I had it all handled." he says, mimicking Brian in a whiny, childish tone.
I snort, imagining him speak in whiny tone.
"He is not here, so you have to sleep here. It's not because I can't call him but he has an important—" he quickly adds, but I interrupt him.
"I know! He has an important parcel to deliver today and he won't be reachable for the whole day, he told me. If I was smart, I should have asked him to let me stay in your home, rather than..." leaving somethings unsaid.
I was not angry at Brian but at myself. I was a fool to have hoped for something better, that if she had nearly killed herself she would gain some common sense. That she could change.
It was hard, hard to see someone so self-destructive, even if she was a bitch, even if I didn't saw her as my mother. It was still hard to see it when you have lived with that person for 8 years. It seems I was destined to have shitty parents.
But not anymore, no longer would I let myself be controlled by these weak feelings of sympathy, they didn't give me support when I needed it, and definitely not Ambra. No more.
Antonio pats my head gently, he says. "Go to sleep Arwin, you need rest. When you wake up Brian will be here and both of us will listen to you." he continues.
"You are a strong kid, good job surviving out there. Make no mistake about my words."
Nodding, I lay on the pillow still contemplating about my mistakes. But my consciousness begins to unravel, as all the exhaustion finally hits me, slipping into sleep on a warm bed, away from a place I once called home.