"I am so sorry!" Arthur said for the tenth time as he took me back. The boy stayed bowed and kept his head down. I was back in my room in Angels Cove. Casper was lying on the bed as I began to take my helmet off.
"I understand that. I'm okay now.." I groaned, fiddling with my chest piece when taking it off. When I undid the straps, I had to bite back a moan when I twisted my side.
When it unclasped, I set it down and let out a sigh as the sudden freedom of my chest allowed the pain to dull. I turned around to find Arthur still there, with his head bowed. I rolled my eyes at him, "you don't need to be here. I thanked you for helping me back, but I am okay now."
"Are you sure? I can help you take them off. I am so sorry. I forgot you could feel pain."
I held back an annoyed growl. "Yeah, okay."
I undid the shoulder armor, twisting back with a groan as it fell down. When I turned to my side, Arthur was suddenly there.
"What the-"
"I can help."
I pushed away, fumbling to take the other piece off before glaring at the boy with a buzzcut. "I'm fine. Really, you don't need to stay here."
"I'm so sorry."
Dear goddess, I know!
Instead of replying, I sat down to unbuckle the rest of the armor. Arthur stayed near the door as I did so. He looked unsure and guilty as he watched me undo the armor. The pieces fell to the ground as I twisted around. I took the belt piece off, feeling air come to me quick at the release of all the pieces. My undergarments were black and thin, and it was slightly weird to feel the snug clothing hugging my body.
I finished taking everything off and let out a loud sigh at the release of the heavy armor. My eyes looked up to the boy by the door; he was now looking down with an embarrassed red face.
"You don't have to be here, Arthur. I already accepted your apology."
"Still, I am so sorry, Vienna!"
I shook my head, giving up on convincing him at this point. I looked down at the armor that had been sprayed on the fluffy carpet below; I didn't know what to do with it now.
Almost reading my mind, Arthur spoke up. "You.. you keep it in your room until you have to assemble it at a session..!" I turned my eyes up to him. Seeing the boy fumbling around with his wrist, he took what seemed to be a bracelet—a golden-trimmed wristband—off. "Y-You will be given one of these that—that uhm..."
"That what?"
The boy fumbled around with his words, his legs shaking under him.
Instead of offering an explanation, Arthur pressed a button on his bracelet, and his armor vanished instantly. He was now dressed in everyday clothing: a white tunic paired with a light gray coat that reached all the way down to his feet. He wore shorts held up to his chest by silver and blue waist belts. His blue boots, which were thin and extended to his knees, completed the outfit, and his coat featured a hood.
He clasped his hands together, his face bright red. He seemed embarrassed, afraid to speak or explain. He didn't need to; he showed me what he was trying to say, and I understood it.
Those bracelets were probably given to all the Warrior Angels so they could travel with their armor easily, put it on, and take it off without worry. It was perhaps the same thing the Heaven Wolves had. But they must have collars, while the warriors wore bracelets.
"When will I finally get one?"
Arthur gulped, tipping over his feet as he stammered. "P-Probably the next s-session.." I watched him take in a deep breath, my eyes hardening. "I am so-"
"Alright, enough of that." I stopped him from continuing, forcing my body up with a groan. I opened the door behind him. Arthur looked down, his eyes darting back and forth.
Did I have to spell it out to him?
Luckily, I didn't; the awkward boy jumped up in realization. "O-Oh! You want to be alone, yes!" He exited the room, turning around to bow to me. His wings trembled as he bowed over and over again. "I'm sorry, Vienna, again..!"
"Yeah.. it's okay, Arthur; thanks for taking me back."
The buzzcut boy nodded again before I closed the door on him. I waited until his steps turned into fluttering feathers before releasing a breath.
Man, I was suddenly tired. My body stung and ached all over, my side being the worst as my face was a close second; I could feel the cut sting and a bruise form on my cheek and ribs. It would leave a mark, how annoying..
I held back a cry as I fell onto my bed. Suddenly, I was too exhausted to care about what I was still wearing. I didn't feel like changing, so I let my mind go off. It took some time since the dulling of pain was a nuisance to fall asleep to, but I managed.
Sleep and exhaustion rewarded me with the peace of darkness. My body floated around peacefully; only the stiffness was softly known. I held my teeth together and squeezed my body close. The warmth beside me stirred slightly, and with the darkness swaying in and out, my body was moved around ever so slightly. It felt different now. The pain burned away into nothing, and I was faced with a warm touch covering my body and burning through my skin.
I jolted slightly. The darkness faded away when I faced the being over me. My body relaxed when her eyes caught my own. The soft and gentle smile, accompanied by the warm hands on my side, let me let out a sigh of relief.
"You.. came…"
She replied with a nod, turning around. I lay on my back and let out a slight hiss. Janus moved her hand from my thigh down to my side. I realized that I was wearing my white tunic again. The undergarments were gone. When did I change?
"Relax for me, dear. I will take the pain away." With that, her warmth spread right through my body and filled my bones. The stiffness in my muscles disappeared like it was never there. I let out a moan, moving my hand down on top of hers to feel more of the goddess's heat. She chuckled, "am I warm?"
"Very…" I couldn't help but snuggle into her touch. She was big enough that half of her was off my bed. She stayed sitting near me, my legs over her lap as her wings cuddled around my smaller form in her arms. I could feel Casper's body heat just beside me, but I was too busy gazing at Janus to see if he was awake or not.
"Your face." The goddess moved her other hand up to my cheek. Even with her grazing my face where the scar was, I felt nothing but her smooth skin sinking into me. "You should not be scared." Her eyes fluttered closed as glitter fell upon my face, easing me into a low gasp as it did so.
She opened her eyes, and the smile on her face grew even wider. I knew what she had done, even if I couldn't see it. I rested my other hand on top of hers on my face, closing my eyes to absorb as much of her comfort as I could. I felt her shift down beside me, the weight of the mattress reassuring as the goddess lay next to me.
I shifted my body, pressing against her chest so she could hold me even tighter. I opened my eyes, and the goddess kept her hand firmly on my side. I knew she had already healed it, but I enjoyed the sensation of her touch. Her fingers brushed my cheek with a gentle sweep.
Her wings hovered above me for a moment before settling down like a large blanket, enveloping my entire body. The pup shuffled closer to my legs, curling up underneath Janus's wings.
Her whole body pressed into mine, comforting and safely tucked under her wings. All the tension was released from my body.
Her soft exhale brought my eyes to open. I saw the bright glow of her golden eyes, so close to my own, just inches away from my face.
"My angel.." She rubbed her finger down my chin, the gentle swipe of her fingers making me smile brightly. "You have joined the Warrior Angels, I have heard?"
"Yes.." I slightly mumbled out, seeing a bit of uncertainty in her eyes. "I have a feeling you don't.. like it?"
"It's not that," her wings fell down on top of me, the slight pressure from the softest of her tipped feathers. "I don't want you to get hurt. I am unable to protect you from the rough training the warriors must endure in their spirits." She closed her eyes with a soft hum. "They do not get hurt like you do. They do not feel the pain that you do. It's not safe…"
"I want to do it…" I mumbled, tracing her fingers over my face.
She gave the softest of smiles, "why, my angel?"
I didn't know. I honestly had no idea why I did it or why I was so bent on trying to do something with the action the warriors go through...
Before I could speak, Janus leaned in closer and playfully bumped her head against mine, giggling softly. "I suppose that's a good answer. You might not fully understand why you feel drawn to that action, but it's a feeling that's deeply rooted within you." She moved her hand from my side to rest it just above my heart. "It's a part of you that often feels lost, and although I may not agree with where this wild side of you leads, I won't try to stop you."
She gave me a soft kiss on the temple, sending butterflies flying in my stomach. "Wha.. why do I have it?"
Her eyes caught back with my own, pressing her head hard into me with a low smile. "It's you, Vienna, I cannot explain it…"
"But.. do you know everything about me?"
She giggled, shaking her head slightly as her wings fluffed up. "I do… But what's going on inside you, your soul? I have no control over how it plays out. That is all you, my angel."
"Others..." I cleared my throat. "Angels of all kinds have the same, don't they? A soul?"
She was quiet for a second, the expression on her face unreadable. It was until her lips turned up and her eyes shut. "They did…"
Did you?
I pressed onto her fingers, lying on my cheek, trying to catch a glimpse of what she had meant and see if she could answer the sudden shock and confusion in the statement.
"What? But you said I had one? How is it that they don't when I'm like them?"
"You are different." She pulled me close, her legs pulling up as I curled up into her chest, fitting perfectly against her chest. "You are a story. A whole new experience…"
My eyes couldn't help but flutter, my vision swayed, and darkness crept in. Janus' scent grew stronger, the comforting soft glide of her body pulling my closet into a peaceful drift. I didn't fight it; it took away the pain and let me feel free, safe, and with her…
But... I wanted to know more. I wanted to know what was with me..
what was wrong with me…
Janus only stroked my head, her hand sliding down around my hips as I pressed myself closer into her. Her voice was a low whisper, my consciousness trying to at least put up a fight as I was pulled deeper and deeper into the comforting void.
Before I completely blacked out, I could make out the softest of words and the slowest of movements as her hand came back to cup my head.
"An experience I must protect…"
I wish I didn't feel so drowsy that whatever exhaustion took over me would go away. I just wanted to see her, to feel the goddess and everything she was doing to me. But I was sucked in, pushed farther and farther away from the space of real life. The world sank, and I fell through.. motionless, unable to escape.
The warmth surrounding me consumed all of my troubling thoughts, and all of my anxiety and fears washed away within seconds. I knew I was safe, but with the warmth clouding my vision and my senses, I didn't bother to cling on.
Why would I? What was there to cling onto..
This was normal, for me, at least. The void and darkness being the only thing around me, it was normal, so why would I fear it?
The light poked back and brushed past me with a slow and mesmerizing gaze that shifted my focus to it.
Oh, that's why I would fear it.
There was always something trying to pull me out of my consciousness, a desperate urge in that direction that I could never resist. I yearned to see it, to let it engulf me because I wanted to understand it. I wanted to discover what it had to offer and what sense it would bring me.
So I reached out to it, and seeing it consume me, I closed my eyes and let it pull.
It wasn't dark anymore; instead, it was bright and sunny. I felt the warmth from the sun, but the glare made me shun away from it.
I was hot. Even with the cap on my head, the sweat still made its way through my clothes. I was moving around, thrashing a bit with an energized craze. But I knew what I was doing; the movements were familiar, almost too familiar.
"Is that all you got!?" Dawson was in front of me, his face slightly bruised but a joyous smile on his lips.
He pounced on me, but I saw it coming and ducked. I tackled his waist, pushing both of us onto the grass below. We tumbled around, the dirt sinking through our clothing and smearing into our skin where clothing couldn't cover.
We were in a training area shaded by a few trees, far from the barracks. We were alone in this space, where we practiced and challenged each other. I could feel the man's strength and weight as I was pinned beneath him. He pressed his arms down on me, digging his knees into the dirt just across my chest.
He was strong, but I noticed an opportunity to swipe my arm back. The sudden movement caused him to fall over, which allowed me to grab his arms and reverse our positions. He landed with a grunt, and now I was sitting on his chest, completely trapping him beneath me.
"Is that all you got?" I panted out in a mocking tone.
Dawson chuckled, trying to fiddle his arms out of my grasp. He tried to push me off from his chest, but I sunk down and put all my weight on him. Even though the man was taller than me, I had built up a lot of muscle with my training over the years.
When he realized he couldn't break free, he sighed, "alright, you got me."
I giggled, shaking my head, which caused the hat to fall off and land on top of Dawson. The man smirked, giving me an eye, "are you returning it already?"
"Oh, you wish." I removed my hand from holding him to grab it and put it back on. Moving both of his restraints, I sat on top of the man while pushing the cap back onto my damp hair. "It's mine, isn't it?"
Dawson stayed under me, letting out a gasp. "Sure is, kid."
I let out a low chuckle, glaring at Dawson, who kept his eyes up to the sky. "I'm not a kid anymore. I passed all my training and my fellow comrades." I heard him chuckle from below me, and I squeezed my legs around him. "Including my male ones."
The lieutenant looked up to me, a challenging look in his eyes. "What are you trying to say? You're still a kid to me."
"Really?" I couldn't help but deadpan. Dawson only rolled his eyes at that, causing me to growl slowly in irritation. "You see a 25-year-old as a kid?"
"Hey, I met you when you were an itty-bitty 17-year-old." Dawson pulled his elbows to lift himself up, ignoring the fact that I was still sitting on his chest. "I was 21 at the time. I'm kind of becoming a grandpa."
"You're 29." I rolled my eyes to him, wiping my head and stirring around.
"Not that old."
"Yeah, yeah," he grunted, trying to sit up. "Do you mind?"
I blushed lightly, tumbling off of him with a low growl at his nonsense. He let out a small laugh, making me blush even harder. "Well, stop calling me a kid. I'm a full-grown adult now."
"Of course I know that," the lieutenant scooted over to my side, pulling me into a side hug. "You have come a long way, Vienna. You're almost ready to be out in the front lines."
"I passed everything," I huffed out. Turning to the man, I looked a bit pitiful. "Aren't I already ready?"
Dawson let out a sigh, letting me go to my disappointment. "Almost Vienna, trust me. You will be on the field soon."