"Haah…" Sakura sighed forlornly, holding a dainty hand to her breast. "I wonder if Sasuke would have stayed if I'd grown out my chest a little more…"
Naruto let out a coughing, spluttering sort of noise.
"I'm glad to see you've cheered up enough to make jokes," Kakashi said, giving Sakura a sideways glance. He shook his head sadly and sighed. "Watching you three grow together as shinobi… I know how much you care about each other."
Naruto, Sakura, and Kakashi were steadily making their way back to the Hidden Leaf Village on foot. Once again, they had triumphed over the enemy, but without Sasuke at their side, their victory felt bittersweet… hollow, even.
"I s'pose I always expected that something like this might happen one day," Sakura said, offering him a weak smile. "Our relationship and Sasuke's hopes for the future were based on a lie… I'm actually surprised it lasted this long."
Perhaps, somewhere in the darker corners of Sasuke's mind, a small part of himself had always known that Sakura had never truly been an Uchiha. After all, each time her bustline swelled, she seemed to uncover some new power she had never displayed before… and the Sharingan was just one of many abilities she had stolen.
For the sake of love and his fragile dream of preserving the bloodline, or perhaps simply to spare himself the soul‑shredding agony of knowing he was the last of his kind, Sasuke had likely pressed that small inner voice into silence, just as his younger self had forced himself to forget the tear‑streaked face of his brother on the night of the Uchiha massacre… but when the truth laid itself bare before him, he had no choice but to confront reality.
"…it wasn't a lie…" Naruto muttered.
"Naruto?" said Kakashi quizzically.
"I said it wasn't a lie!" Naruto burst out. "Everything we went through together was real— the life‑and‑death missions, the days we spent laughing and messing around when we were off duty— none of that was fake, believe it! I don't believe all of that meant nothing to Sasuke, not even for a second, ya know? And…"
Naruto's voice faltered, and his shoulders sagged.
"I know for sure Sakura's love meant something to Sasuke."
There, he had said it out loud.
A sense of relief washed over Naruto. All these years, he had refused to admit that Sakura's longing glances in Sasuke's direction, those forlorn sighs whenever he was near, and the way the usually bright, cheerful girl grew meek at his voice, were anything but love— because to accept it would mean admitting he'd never stood a chance with the girl of his dreams.
"Just say the word, Sakura," Naruto said with determination. "I'll bring Sasuke back to you, even if it means I have to break every bone in his stupidly handsome body to do… it!?"
Naruto's voice jumped an octave as Sakura pulled him into a fierce embrace without warning, crushing his slender frame between the soft, pillowy curves of her breasts.
"Naruto, you idiot," Sakura sniffled. "Why are you always the last one to think about your own feelings? What about what you want? You could stand to be a little more selfish, you know…"
Naruto was stunned.
Sakura had actually noticed his feelings for her!? But this was wrong, all wrong… he wanted to be loved for who he was, recognised for his own accomplishments; he wanted to win Sakura's heart by his own merit, not just by virtue of being her rebound guy… That wasn't the kind of acknowledgement he sought from her heart. He pushed her back to arm's length and looked her squarely in the eyes.
"I… hate people who lie to themselves," Naruto said, his gaze clear of doubt. "I know you love Sasuke."
Sakura blinked back her tears… she tipped her head back… and without even the slightest warning… drove her forehead straight into Naruto's nose with a sickening crunch.
"What the hell, Sakura-chan? That hurt!" Naruto yelled, holding his bloody nose. "What was that for!?"
"I've got no idea!" Sakura shouted back, laughing and crying all at once. "You think you understand a maiden's heart, Naruto? You're ten thousand years too early to guess what's going on inside my head! You think you know me? I don't even know who me is! I don't even know what I want half the time, and I'm a girl!"
Perhaps those first sixteen years of life spent as a boy had left Sakura incapable of fully grasping her budding feelings. Perhaps this wishy-washiness was simply something all teenage girls struggled with, or perhaps this sort of thing only ever happened to a rare few headcases of the harem protagonist variety… Or perhaps, Sakura's indecisiveness was simply a terminal case of being human. Whatever the case, boy or girl, Sakura had no way of knowing; she had only ever been one of each, but that did not mean there did not exist a way for her to discover how she truly felt…
Naruto and Kakashi gaped at her in shocked silence.
"So, what I'm saying is… Sasuke's not the only one… who can make my heart flutter," Sakura said bashfully, her cheeks flushing bright pink as she struggled to find the right words, "I'm not against finding out how I really feel about you, Naruto-kun… even if it takes me one hundred thousand years."
Naruto's brain promptly overheated as Sakura leaned in and planted a quick peck on his cheek. Maybe it was all those dirty mags he'd found by the roadside, or the daily overexposure to breasts larger than his head, but somehow, this simple kiss outstripped every virginal fantasy he'd ever had by a continent's length.
"Ah, but not right now! I'm not ready for a relationship, not with everything that's going on with the war and the Akatsuki, and it wouldn't be fair to Sasuke, since he left the village…" Sakura babbled quickly, waving her hands in the air in front of her defensively. "…but in the meantime, until we get him back, together… I wouldn't say no to a dinner date… or two."
"Okay," Naruto said numbly, wiping the blood from his nostrils. "Okay. Sure, I can work with that."
Kakashi shook his head in disbelief.
"Ah, the springtime of youth," he sighed. "Guy, maybe you're onto something after all…"
Inspiration suddenly struck Kakashi, an idea for a Make‑Out Paradise fanfic inspired by his students' tangled love triangle. Perhaps, once the Akatsuki were defeated and he'd settled into retirement, he might follow Jiraiya's example and wander the world, writing about everything he saw…
Peace sure was nice.