Time marched inexorably on, and with the success of the mission to locate and destroy Orochimaru's secret hideout in the Land of Rivers— and, quite unexpectedly, the bonus mission to thwart the Akatsuki from seizing the Three-Tails— the Hidden Leaf's expedition returned to Konoha.
And before anyone knew it, September had slipped away, and October was upon them.
"Ooh, shiny…" Sakura sighed dreamily, her eyes fixed on the two weapons hanging on her bedroom wall. "And so sparkly, too…"
It turned out that while she had gone off to face the entirety of Orochimaru's hideout alone, Kujaku had revived Takumi Village's founder, Seimei, and led him straight to her mother Hato's workshop. There, they had stolen the sword her mother had been smithing for Sakura, along with the extra chakra metal she had left behind.
Seimei had then forged a divine weapon using Kujaku's share of the chakra metal, before seizing control of Takumi Village and declaring himself its new ruler— only for Tsunade's Shadow Clone to arrive with her retinue, sparking a confrontation in which the karakuri man was beaten with a single punch.
And so, the two weapons found their way back into Sakura's hands— thanks to Hato's explanations, and her pleas that the Hidden Leaf show mercy to her foolish daughter.
"I know I told myself I'd give one to Sasuke," Sakura sighed to herself, "but it's not as if he would know if I kept both to myself, right?"
That being said, Sakura didn't know any dual-wielding styles, so carrying two weapons would only slow her down. Besides, only one of them truly suited her…
…
Hato's creation was a classical katana forged in the style of the samurai's. This was the weapon Sakura intended to use, since the other was not suitable for reaping breasts.
It was a work of art: a single-edged, impressively sharp and iridescent blade with a graceful, wavy hamon running along its length. The characters for Manyuu were engraved at its base, and it had an ornately decorated tsuba (guard) shaped like a cherry blossom flower, a pinkish-red grip, and a golden tassel hanging off the kashira, the butt of the sword.
When Sakura's new blade caught the sunlight, the pale grey steel would glint with a white-pink sheen, making it seem as though cherry blossoms were falling when she swung it. As a result, she had half a mind to develop a Genjutsu associated with it, like Aizen's Kyōka Suigetsu… of course, when she eventually got some time off from work.
After all, if Itachi could base a Genjutsu on his fabulous purple fingernails and Sakura could hypnotise people with the swaying of her breasts… then why not simply turn literally everything into tools of illusion?
As for Seimei's creation, it was a chakra projection blade, which Sakura had taken to calling the Sword of the Thunder Goddess— the goddess being herself, naturally, as it had been forged from leftover chakra metal infused with her electrified gamer-girl bathwater.
As Sakura understood it, the weapon was a curious fusion of ancient forging techniques and the futuristic scientific ninja tool black technology that Tenten had brought back. When not in use, the weapon appeared to be nothing more than a bladeless grip… but in truth, it was a lightsabre! Once chakra was channelled into it, the weapon would produce an electrified plasma blade.
More chakra-efficient than the Chidori, yet delivering greater power output, it ought to prove an ideal weapon for Sasuke, who liked to play with his Chidori variants and had limited stamina to spare.
…
Sakura glanced out of her bedroom window at the neighbouring house. There were no lights in the windows, and the front garden was overgrown with weeds.
"Still off looking for Ryūchi Cave, eh?" Sakura sighed, "If you don't come back by the tenth, I'll give your present to Naruto, Sasuke~"
For all his immaturity, Naruto was surprisingly wise with his money, preferring to live in poverty rather than in decent conditions. To him, deluxe cup ramen was the height of luxury… which was rather sad. That was why Sakura wanted to get him something made with a personal touch— like a hand-made scarf, for example, since winter was coming.
As for not knowing how to knit, that was a problem easily remedied… as long as she could get Hinata to teach her.
"Wouldn't that be some sort of scarf NTR?" Sakura giggled to herself. "Well, it's not as if there's anything serious going on between me and Naruto, so I s'pose it's fine~"
…
The following morning, Sakura left the Uchiha District in western Konoha and made her way to the shopping district in the city centre. After looking around for a while, she found a small arts and crafts shop nestled between a Nara-owned pharmacy and a weapons store run by Tenten's family, where she bought a pair of knitting needles and a ball of yarn… but as she turned to leave, she bumped into someone.
"Oh, pardon me," Sakura automatically apologised.
Her eyes then widened slightly in recognition.
That girl, she was…!
"That's okay, I wasn't looking where I was going either," said Kurama Yakumo, bowing slightly. "Say…" she then said slowly, "do you come here often, by any chance? You seem awfully familiar…"
Yakumo was still plain looking, but her previously frail frame had filled out somewhat. Since Sakura's Shadow Clone had used the massage technique on her on the day of the Konoha Crush, her Nyūmyaku hadn't been severed, so apart from that initial setback, her budding breasts had continued to grow normally over the past three years.
"That can't be right," said Sakura lightly. "This is my first time coming here."
Yakumo glanced down at the forehead protector resting atop Sakura's head, a flicker of envy crossing her face. Surely having such huge honkers had to count as a disability, right? They almost hung down to her bellybutton! So why had this pink-haired girl been allowed to remain a kunoichi, while she, with her slightly weak body, hadn't even been permitted to become a Genin?
Unwilling to stick around in case Yakumo saw through her, Sakura bowed once more and swiftly strode out of the shop, before flickering away. With one last glance over her shoulder at the suspicious girl as she vanished in a swirl of leaves, Yakumo approached the counter.
"Do you know that pink-haired girl, Granny?" Yakumo asked her caretaker— the old woman at the counter— once Sakura was out of earshot. "I feel like I've seen her before, but I can't place her…"
"You mean Uchiha Sakura? You've never heard of her?" the old woman said in astonishment. "I don't know her personally, but she's quite famous… or rather infamous, I should say.
Let's see… I believe she's a year younger than you, Yakumo-chan, but she's already a Jōnin, a master of Genjutsu. She's from the prestigious Uchiha clan— yes, the one that was annihilated in one night— and she's also the current Hokage's disciple… and rumour has it she sleeps with no less than ten different men AND women. Every. Single. Night."
Yakumo was appalled. What about the Iron Code of the Shinobi? The Three Prohibitions!?
If such a degenerate was allowed to reach the higher rungs of power, then that would surely spell the end for the Hidden Leaf Village! Or rather, the village was already rotten to its very roots, if someone like that could become a Jōnin and the Hokage's disciple in the first place…
…while she, an earnest and hardworking girl, had been expelled from the academy for failing the physical requirements.
Kurenai-sensei had given her hope that she might still become a kunoichi— only to give up after a half-hearted attempt, dashing those hopes and leaving her to rot, instead of training her to harness her Genjutsu strengths, just as Guy had trained Rock Lee into a Taijutsu-only prodigy.
But no, Kurenai-sensei rather preferred to spread her legs each night for the Third Hokage's son… while the Fifth Hokage and her disciple lived a life of debauchery and excess on the taxpayer's ryō!
Yakumo's eyes narrowed.
These bitches were ruining the village's moral fibre! All beautiful women were the enemy, a bunch of man-eating, power-hungry whores who corrupted the good men of the Hidden Leaf with their feminine wiles, and she, Kurama Yakumo, was the only one who could stop them!
"You were having that daydream where you were destroying the village again, weren't you?"
The old woman's stern words shook Yakumo out of her reverie.
"But they deserve it," Yakumo whined. "Especially those ugly bi—"
"How many times have I told you that you better not even dream of destroying the village?" shouted the old woman. "Go to your room, young lady! And I'm confiscating your painting supplies!"
Yakumo stormed off to the back of the store and up the stairs, screaming, "You're not even my real grandma!" before running to her room and slamming the door behind her.