Chapter 330: The Lewdest Loli On Type Moon
If the chance ever came up, Shinji wouldn't mind renting out an entire theater just to act out an Ultraman vs. Kaiju scenario with a girl.
Whether he was playing the hero or the monster, Shinji was confident that even if the "script" inside that private theater happened to get a little… R-rated, he'd still find a way to have fun.
And if the girl he was with turned out to be shy? No problem—there were always plenty of love hotels lined up right next to the cinema.
After all, in Japan, even adult films could have proper theatrical releases. To accommodate the restless energy of young couples leaving those screenings, theaters very "considerately" had hotels nearby.
The Japanese did it with subtlety, sure, but in North America? The snack counters at some cinemas would literally sell you raincoats of the latex variety. When movies like American Pie came out, those little "souvenirs" probably outsold popcorn and soda combined.
Because to young people over there, sneaking in a round inside a theater was basically a classic "you're not a real teen unless you've done this" kind of life challenge.
Compared to the expense of renting a whole hall to reenact Star Wars, doing it with your date in the back row was way cheaper.
Humans, at their core, were thrill-seekers. Doing forbidden things in public was, naturally, thrilling. And when the act itself was already something that clashed with conventional morals, the thrill only multiplied.
Two thrills stacked on top of each other? That was the ultimate high.
This wasn't some cheap "White Album" drama nonsense—this was universal truth.
That was why so many rich people, instead of enjoying their luxurious suites, chose to unlock "achievements" in cars, offices, or half-public spaces. If not for the lack of safety, some of them would probably want to walk a tightrope between skyscrapers while going at it—cosplaying Spider-Man in the most extreme way possible.
Compared to these thrill-chasing maniacs, Shinji's mindset was almost… peaceful.
For him, the real excitement wasn't about where. It was about the girl herself.
Why mess around in the wild when having a shrine maiden cosplay for you was a thousand times better?
Of course, Shinji wasn't the type to say no to bunny suits, police uniforms, knight armor, skintight bodysuits, bikinis, competitive swimsuits, gym uniforms, sailor fuku, office-lady suits, yukata, wedding dresses, cheongsams, hanfu, and yes—even those "door curtain" style cheongsams—the list went on.
As a man, Shinji firmly believed he was blessed with the gift of appreciating beauty. Every outfit a girl wore had its own hidden charm point—and it was his solemn duty to discover and develop them.
"You're just making excuses to harass girls, you year-round pervert beast!"
That was the righteous verdict delivered by Maid Rin Tohsaka after hearing Shinji's shameless speech.
And the very next day, she found her paycheck docked by a thousand yen—because she dared step into a room left foot first.
Thus Rin learned firsthand just how ridiculously petty Shinji Matou could be.
Their endless bickering as childhood friends didn't slow down Shinji's film work in the slightest.
That nonsense about "women will only slow the speed of drawing your sword"? Total crap.
In fact, having Rin around as a maid meant he could dump all the tedious chores on her and focus fully on directing. His productivity actually went up.
Still, The Garden of Sinners was a film that demanded a lot from its actors. And with Shiki, Akuta, and even Touko being total newbies on set, their performances wavered constantly no matter how hard Shinji tried to motivate them.
This wasn't a problem unique to rookie actors either. Even veterans like Shirou had days where their condition dipped and the NG count stacked up.
When the cast was "on," filming could move at lightning speed. But when they were "off"? Sometimes three days weren't enough to finish what was originally planned for just one.
Unfortunately, the latter was the norm for the The Garden of Sinners set.
From October all the way to the end of the year, Shinji spent nearly all his time in Fuyuki—splitting his days between the set and the post-production studio. The only exceptions were the occasional trips to Tokyo for business.
During this stretch, publicity for Type-Moon's various projects had entered a lull. Aside from the currently airing Magical Illya, most other works only had the odd teaser in magazines or bits and pieces posted online—just enough to keep the bare minimum of buzz alive.
But for diehard Type-Moon fans, having a steady weekly series to watch was already more than enough. Just discussing Illya's plot developments on the forums gave them more than they could handle. Who had time to care about Shinji Matou's new movie?
Watching Magical Illya dominate the online discussion boards, Shinji began to develop a new perspective on how serial dramas could sustain hype.
Movies were polished, high-impact, and long-lasting in terms of popularity—but no matter how good they were, you could only release a few per year. To cover those gaps, filling in with TV shows was like a live-service game sprinkling in minor events between the major ones to keep the player base engaged.
No wonder Marvel, once it entered its "Phase Four," started pumping out series by the dozen. Beyond fleshing out side characters and patching the cinematic universe together, it was clearly a strategy to keep Marvel in the public conversation year-round.
Especially after 2020, when the pandemic slammed the brakes on theater releases. If it hadn't been for WandaVision, Loki, and—no, not The Return of Yang Guo and His Condor—but The Falcon and the Winter Soldier, Marvel might've been dead on arrival.
Still, while the TV strategy cemented Shinji's determination to consistently produce high-quality series, he had no plans to suddenly flood the slate with new shows.
This wasn't even about production capacity—by now, Type-Moon could easily handle three films and three series per year. The issue was balance. TV shows were ultimately secondary, meant to maintain hype between films. If he overloaded the schedule with them, they'd only start cannibalizing the movies' spotlight. And that would completely mess with Shinji's long-term layout.
Of course, the fans had no clue about Shinji's "cruel" decision not to greenlight more series. From their perspective, the ideal world was one where new Type-Moon content dropped every single day—an endless buffet of drama, anime, and gossip.
These core fans were always the most "insatiable" sort. They wanted as much as possible, never once considering whether they might "stuff themselves sick" on oversupply.
Thankfully, this world had yet to experience the overwhelming flood of Marvel's "three to four movies plus four to five series per year" diarrhea-style updates. With the current pace of Type-Moon releases, fans were already very satisfied. Few dared to wish for more.
That said, Magical Illya's storyline was stirring up some chatter.
Not because fans thought it was bad, but because… well, they felt it was a little watery.
Honestly, Shinji couldn't disagree. He'd felt the same way himself.
The anime had already moved into the first half of the manga's second season—the Chloe arc. And in terms of volume count, this arc stretched across more than two full tankōbon out of five. That's nearly a third of the entire season.
Yet in terms of story content? You could summarize it in a single sentence:
Illya manifests a dark counterpart, Chloe, who tries to kill her. After a lot of struggle from the protagonist group, Chloe eventually joins the Emiya household.
Sure, the arc sprinkled in a few foreshadowing hints for later developments, but compared to the sheer length of material—over two volumes worth—it was like trying to quench thirst with a single drop of water.
When Shinji tried to recall the Chloe arc, the first things that came to mind were: tanned loli, kiss-happy maniac, and… did he mention tanned loli?
If season one of the manga was Hiroyama sprinkling loli fanservice into the story, then the Chloe arc was him dumping story into a mountain of loli fanservice.
To exaggerate a bit—calling Kuro "the lewdest loli in all of Type-Moon" wasn't far from the truth.
Some people might argue that "CCTV's favorite," Shuten-douji, held the crown for lewdest loli. But in Shinji's eyes, the two were about equal—and since Chloe was basically Illya's variant, she won by a sentimental edge.
From a man's perspective, Shinji loved the character of Kuro. But bringing her into live-action? That was a real headache.
The biggest issue was how overwhelmingly slice-of-life the Chloe arc was. Compared to the rest of Magical Illya, it stood out awkwardly.
After all, Shinji's version of Illya was a tokusatsu show. And the golden rule of tokusatsu was: fight scenes first. Big chunks of quiet daily-life episodes? That was how you lost the kids in droves.
Sure, the arc had its share of battles—like Chloe versus Miyu—but compared to the sheer length of the arc, the amount of actual action was pitiful.
To Shinji, the Chloe arc in Illya was kind of like Full Metal Panic? Fumoffu—a detour into side stories.
The problem was, Fumoffu had been given its own standalone season, based on extra side novels, almost completely separate from the main plot. The Chloe arc, on the other hand, was baked right into the main story of Illya—and contained just enough core plot to make it impossible to skip.
Shinji could even understand why, in his "previous life," director Oonuma Shin had split season two of the anime into two halves. The manga's second season simply didn't have enough content to adapt into a clean 12 episodes.
Of course, Oonuma's decision led to the worst-case outcome: a season with glacial pacing, stretched thinner than watered-down soup. It was no wonder his commercial projects never shone—he always picked the worst possible route.
Honestly, if it hadn't been for the Type-Moon brand and the cute lolis carrying the show, Shinji had no idea who in their right mind would've stuck with that bizarrely sluggish second season.
Naturally, Shinji had no intention of repeating that mistake. Illya was a half-year series—if he dragged the story out any further, there'd be no way to finish adapting the manga's second season.
On the other hand, he couldn't just skip the Chloe arc entirely either. Which left him only one option: cut it down and rewrite it.
He trimmed out most of the pure fanservice scenes, while at the same time extending several of the fights that had originally been mere flashes in the manga—making those "daily life" episodes look a lot more "action-packed" for the kids.
By the way, Shinji had even changed Chloe's infamous "lip-to-lip mana transfer" scene from the manga into a simple forehead kiss.
What else could he do? If the Saturday morning kids' channel actually aired two lolis kissing like that, the Type-Moon office building would be mobbed by furious parents the very next day!
It wasn't that Shinji feared those parents—he just didn't want Magical Illya to get yanked off the air over something like "questionable content." That would be a huge loss.
Even with all of Shinji's editing and trimming, fans still felt the Chloe arc was way "waterier" than the earlier parts.
In the first half of the season, right after Illya and the others recovered the Caster card, they immediately rolled into the Saber battle. The pacing was sharp, tight, exhilarating.
But once the second half hit? Suddenly, endless dialogue scenes. Fight scenes were drastically cut back, leaving none of the thrill or flow from before.
And for a tokusatsu show, lackluster battles naturally translated into one thing: declining ratings.
Shinji wasn't surprised at all—but Rin, of course, jumped on the chance to mock him.
"See, Shinji? That's what happens when you focus on fanservice instead of proper story!"
Shinji, however, remained calm.
"This isn't anything to worry about. At the end of the day, Illya is a tokusatsu show. The core audience is children."
And it was true. Saturday mornings were precious sleep-in time for both students and working adults. With smartphones and tablets in hand, they could just watch the show later while eating brunch. And those delayed views from the official Type-Moon site didn't even count toward the broadcast ratings.
Not that Rin cared. After being "bullied" by Shinji for almost a month, she only wanted payback.
"Keep stuffing your show with dirty fanservice. One day the ratings will hit zero!"
She even jinxed her own series, just to sour Shinji's mood. After all, her paycheck for Magical Illya had already cleared. High ratings or low, she wasn't getting a single yen more.
"Rin," Shinji said, raising a finger, "don't look down on lewdness. It's the inevitable process by which human civilization continues to exist."
"Unbelievable. To twist something so filthy into such a righteous-sounding excuse… As expected of you, Shinji Matou."
The maid Rin's voice dripped with contempt.
Shinji only smiled mysteriously.
"Heh~ who knows? Maybe in fifteen years, if you search for 'knight's courtesy,' the first image you'll find will be you and Arturia licking each other's feet."
"You've completely lost it!" Rin snapped, unable to even imagine such a scene. "There's no way something that ridiculous would ever—"
"I'm only speaking the truth," Shinji said with a shrug, feigning helplessness.
"Worry about your ratings instead!" Rin barked.
"Those things will take care of themselves," Shinji replied with utter composure.
It wasn't that he didn't care about Magical Illya. It was just that the Chloe arc was already over, and the show was about to introduce a brand-new character and storyline.
And Shinji was certain—once she appeared, the ratings would shoot right back up.
Because compared to a cheeky dark-skinned loli, the kids would be far more hyped about a character who was pure badass in battle.
The one and only: Bazett Fraga McRemitz!
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