I don't own DC or other things
"Do-do-do-da-da-da..." Arwa sang to herself as she strutted from the kitchen with a bag of freshly popped popcorn and a liter of cold Pep. She placed both on the coffee table in front of the large TV in the living room. She was off tonight, and so was Demona, sleeping upstairs after a long night shift. Everyone else who lived in the Superbabes' house was working.
She then picked up the remote and turned on the TV. Watching television was how she often caught up in the modern day. At least that's what she tells herself, but she mostly just watches Sci-Fi and Fantasy shows and movies.
Oh, and her guilty pleasure is ghost hunting shows. Mostly because the mortals are just so inept at actual hunting. They don't have any sorcerers or magical artifacts, barely ever do they have a holy man or woman. They have 'mediums' sometimes but that's not a very good way to hunt a ghost...
Honestly, it was just a great big laugh for her.
"Welcome to Ghostly Hunters." the TV said tonight we're exploring the Greigor Asylum, known to all as the most haunted asylum..." it showed a few empty and disheveled cells "...in Wisconsin."
"Hmmn-hmmn!" Arwa chuckled, opening her liter of Pep. "Wisconsin. Such a silly word."
Knock-Knock.
"Oh my pizza!" she said excitedly, extracting cash from her pocket, bouncing to the front door, and swinging it open. "Hello!"
The pretty girl in the delivery uniform held a pizza box marked with the Pizza Hat logo. "Hey. Did you order Pizza?" she asked in a bored tone.
"I did! Here you go!" she said, handing the girl a great deal of money that was probably more fitting for her on a delivery than it was a simple pizza... but Money had no real meaning to Arwa.
"Whoa hold up this is way too much."
"Is it? I get that much all the time." she replied as the Pizza girl stared at her like she was crazy.
"...Where the hell do you work?"
"Superbabes!" she said cheerily, before taking the box. "Thank you! Have a good night!" the door swung shut.
"Very good." the girl said, counting the 50s.
"Demonaaaa! Pizza's here!" she declared happily as she sat back on the couch and flicked the box open without touching the lid, extracting the next pizza on her list to try. The 'Hawaiian' pizza... she extracted a slice from the box and opened her mouth, but hesitated, frowned at the stairs, then shrugged. Snapping her fingers.
"FUCK!" Something blue with black feathers dropped out of the air and landed with a splattering THUD on the carpet. "You..." Demona's demonic eyes snapped at her. "How DARE you." She snapped but Arwa smiled at her.
"Oh don't be such a fuddy-duddy," Arwa replied, smiling down at her and taking a bite of pizza. "Have some pizza!" Demona scowled at her, and rolled her demonic eyes into her 'usual' glamour, getting up from the floor as she assumed 'mortal' form.
"You couldn't have summoned me onto the couch?"
"In my defense." Arwa replied with a smile- only for a pair of young men to suddenly run behind them...
"Run Edwin!" said one with a British accent and dressed in old designer clothes.
"That's what I'm doing! CHARLES" declared the other poshly and in even older clothes as they scampered in a mad panic. They reached the front of the house where Charles chanced a glance behind them and spotted Demona and Arwa before looking at them appreciatively.
"...Wow this house has some fit birds... bugger!" he yelped as a nicely dressed man covered in chains and seaweed roared angrily towards him.
"Charles!" snapped Edwin before they both returned to running... right through the wall, the chained ghost following after them.
Arwa and Demona stared after them for a minute, then Demona casually bit into a pizza. Arwa pointed.
"...Those were ghosts."
"Yes." Demona replied.
"We checked this place for spectral forces before we moved in. Correct?"
"Yes." Demona replied, quickly devouring her pizza. "They're probably wandering ghosts." she replied, "Looks like they woke a cursed one."
"Should we help?" Arwa asked rather lazily, taking another bite of pizza.
"Why?" Demona replied dismissively.
"...It'll be exciting."
"AAAAH!" The chained ghost marched through the wall and appeared to be dragging Edwin by the neck with a chain, determinedly returning the way he came. Charles then rushed through the wall holding what appeared to be a bat, swinging away at the cursed ghost.
"Lay off you cunt!" he snapped, "We're! Trying! To HELP!" the Chain ghost whipped the chain about, wrapping it around the bat and yanking it from his grip. "Bugger. GUCK!" the chain hurled the bat away before cumming back around and snapping around Charles' throat. "GUCK!" dragging them both along as Demona sighed.
"FINE." she stood up, and turned her attention to the demon, before standing in front of him. The ghost seemed unperturbed, single-mindedly trying to drag the boys off to whatever cursed location he was bound to, and flicked her finger at him.
"GRA-!?" the chained ghost disintegrated, spectral powder lingered in the air for a moment before suddenly rushing off in the direction it came, but without the boys who seemed... in awe."
"Bloody hell!" snapped Charles, looking up at her. "...How'd you do that?!"
"More importantly, you can see us?" Edwin composed himself dusting his old-fashioned clothes, a school uniform from the look of it.
"Yes. You two are a nuisance." declared Demona coldly as Arwa chuckled
"You were doing VERY well." she said, trying to be comforting as the two boys stared at her and then back to Demona.
"...You both can see us?" said Charles, before waving at Arwa, who waved back. Edwin didn't seem as impressed or as interested.
"Evidently." said Edwin, "...Thank you for banishing the spectator."
"I didn't banish him." Demona declared lazily. "I merely made him dissipate. He'll reform soon enough." Edwin and Charles stared at her in confusion. "...Unless you exorcise him or send him to his proper circle he'll continue to do so every time it's done."
"Circle?" Charles asked only for Edwin to reply coldly.
"Hell. His proper hell." Demona stared at the young boy and seeing the sudden tension-
"Being bound to the bottom of the river isn't hell enough?" Charles joked. Edwin didn't acknowledge it, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.
"...Perhaps this will be more difficult of a case than we thought."
"Not that difficult if you know the right demons." Arwa replied as Demona scoffed.
"I will NEVER make a deal with a demon." Edwin said, and Demona and Arwa politely didn't speak up. "So Exorcism. How do we do that?"
"Not like we can talk to a priest-" Charles replied, "Finding lovely ladies such as yourself who can see us is already more than we can ask for." he winked at Arwa who giggled and got to her feet.
"It's much easier than you think." Arwa replied as Demona angrily grunted. "Dee. They seem like nice boys."
"We're very nice boys, aren't we Ed?" Charles replied elbowing an unamused Edwin.
"...Extremely." Charles grinned at Arwa who winked at him.
"...FINE." Demona grumbled irately, "...Find me an old graveyard." she said as the boys looked at her confused.
...
There was one some distance away, a very old one, with a small church beside it. "What do we need an old church for?" asked Charles as Demona stood on the very edge of the iron bar gate.
"Find me a tool." she said, as they looked at her confused, Arwa grinned. "A shovel, a pickaxe, a hoe-" she held up a hand to Arwa, "Not US." she said as Arwa chuckled. "Go on."
"Aren't you coming?" asked Charles as Demona eyed the hallowed ground dismally.
"...I don't like old Churchyards." she declared irately. "...They creep me out." to be clear, the iron bars and the sanctified ground creep her out. Edwin frowned at her, "Off you go." she declared as Arwa walked right in.
"Come on boys." she declared, "We'll be quick." Walking into the graveyard with two ghost boys. Charles suddenly spoke.
"So uh... you can see ghosts?"
"My friend and I are more intuned with the supernatural than most." Arwa replied sweetly as Charles looked her up and down.
"...So... you ever date a ghost?" he asked cheekily as Edwin groaned.
"I might be a little old for you cutie." she said as Charles shrugged.
"Naw I'm like 30 now." he noted, "besides I like a girl with a bit of experience." Arwa's eyes twinkled at him as they reached what appeared to be a tool shed. "Looks locked." he declared, sticking his head through the door as Edwin looked around.
"Yep. It's locked." Edwin replied, looking back towards Demona, he could just barely make out her wings in the darkness. "Perhaps there's a key around-" but Arwa pushed her finger against the padlock and twisted. CLICK Edwin and Charles stared at her as she winked and opened the door.
"...Was that bloody magic?" Charles replied as Arwa smiled. "Are you a witch?" he asked as Arwa laughed.
"No! Ha-ha... older." she replied as Charles grinned nervously.
"...That's hot."
"Charles." Edwin rolled his eyes but Arwa entered the shed and, after a moment, she picked up an old worn shovel. Clearly the oldest tool in the shed. "...What's an old Shovel going to do to a ghost?" he asked as Arwa smiled at him.
"It might not be blessed by a priest or some ancient holy relic." she said, closing one eye and examining the shovel. "But it's seen a lot of use in this churchyard. It's earned something, it's become a... what do they call it?"
"A Tsukumogami?" Edwin replied, suddenly looking at the shovel in a new light as Arwa smiled.
"That's it! It's broached sanctified ground enough times to charge a little. It's a blessed weapon by association!" she smiled as the boys followed her out of the church. "Got one!" she said as Demona snatched the weapon from her hand, looking it over.
"...Yes I think so." she said dismissively. "Alright boys." she declared and they blinked at her. "Where did you wake the dead?"
....
"His name was Darwin 'Grif' Griffin," said Edwin, standing by the edge of the Gotham River as they looked down into the murky depths. "He ended up having an affair with his boss's mistress, and he did not take it well. He bound them both together and tossed them into the Gotham River 50 years ago." he noted. "However The Mistress's body managed to slip free years ago and she contacted us to free him from his watery grave."
"Yeah, she was a right mess. All sobbing and soaked..." Charles declared as Demona eyed the shovel. "How were we to know he's just as stubborn."
"He's not stubborn, he's envious." Demona replied, examining the shovel, "You're making it appear far more romantic than it is." she noted, "ARwa." she handed her the shovel and the beautiful genie raised one finger and began 'writing' on the shovel in ancient Arabic holy words. "He was envious of his boss's wealth and power, envious of his lover escaping the watery fate he now suffers. Envious of other ghosts who can wander freely."
The words on the shovel glowed with an eldritch light, even if the shovel itself was rather mediocre in appearance. She then handed the shovel to Charles. "ENVY." she repeated, "At his lot in his former life. You 'client' might have thought it was true love but he was just envious for the sake of himself-" Arwa then elbowed Demona who abruptly clamped up. "Well?" she said changing the subject. "Wake the dead."
Charles, marveling at the glowing shovel handed it to a confused Edwin before reaching into his backpack and extracting a large fishing rod. He winked at Arwa, holding the rod suggestively and Edwin elbowed him. "COME ON MATE." he sighed before throwing the hook into the water.
"...You fished him out?" asked Demona skeptically as Charles shrugged.
"Yeah well. We didn't think he'd be so pissed."
"It admittedly caught us by surprise." Edwin replied sheepishly. As the water suddenly sloshed and churned.
"Ah! Got him!" Declared Charles, yanking on the rod as the water exploded and the chained ghost appeared again, hooked in the mouth by the fishing line and screaming horrifically as he rushed the two boys. "BUGGER!" Charles yanked the shovel from Edwin's hand and swung. Hitting Darwin in the face with the shovel.
With a blinding light and a hollow scream, the ghost vanished and the shovel stopped glowing. "Bloody hell." Charles breathed as only the chains of the spectator remained and those returned to the water. "That's super effective." he said, already stuffing the shovel into his bag.
"It's more of a jury-rigged solution but it works." Demona replied already walking away. "Enjoy your evening boys." she declared lazily, waving a hand but Arwa smiled at them.
"...Would you two care for some pizza?" she replied as they blinked at her.
"You are NOT inviting them back to our house." Demona snapped.
"Can't really eat anyway." replied Charles as Arwa frowned.
"Pity."
"But you know I wouldn't mind sitting around for dinner. Maybe a little wine and dancing?"
"You don't drink." Edwin replied as Charles groaned.
"Come on Ed! How often are we going to be in Gotham with beautiful birds like them?!" Edwin just shrugged.
"Arwa let's go!" Demona replied, already taking to the air. "The pizza will already be cold anyway."
"See you around boys," Arwa replied before she drifted into the air herself and followed after the winged woman.
"...THere goes the hottest birds we've ever talked to." Charles sighed dejectedly as Edwin shrugged.
"...I've seen better," he noted as Charles smiled and elbowed his friend.
"You bloody have not." he noted, "One of them had literal angel wings!"
"...I'm pretty sure she was a demon." Edwin replied coldly as Charles raised an eyebrow at that.
"A demon who's actually helpful?"
"...It wouldn't be the first time." Edwin replied, "Need I remind you of Jason Blood?"
"I'm just saying mate." he replied, "Cause she was pretty hot for a demon. Her and Arwa." They both walked away from the river as he slung his hammerspace bag over his shoulder.
"She was probably a witch."
"Nah. She wasn't a witch. She magicked up the shovel and everything." they chattered on into the darkness, not like most people could hear them anyway...
But at least they now knew there were two women in Gotham who could.
End
I wanted to hit a ghost in the face with a shovel. So I did. With special guest appearances by The Dead Boy Detectives. I wrote this up pretty quick trying out another writing program since my Word subscription ran out. :(