My barking laughter brings with it the tangible sagging of my shoulders, body leaning back further against the tree and my smile ever so slightly widening.
"Really?" I ask, intrigued, "How long did you think I'd last?"
She hums again in response, and despite her being a thousand miles away, I can damn near see the small, tender smile on her lips as she speaks.
"A week, if I were being generous. I certainly didn't expect you to be telling me this a mere three days after we parted. I knew it would happen eventually, at the very least."
Almost instantly, my relief feels sour. I feel a grimace forming on my lips, an anchor in my chest that seems to drag me further down.
Three days. That's all it took. Three days since the woman I care for most professed her love for me, and I couldn't even wait a week to throw aside every whispered word of tender affection she gave me that day.
Oh, but you loved it, didn't you? Every second. Didn't it feel so good to take cont-
"I do not need some form of scrying spell to see that you are disheartened at the moment, Master. Your silence speaks volumes. Is something the matter?"
I sigh, a hand scrunching in my hair as I think briefly on how to word the myriad of thoughts running through my mind.
No fancy, witty speech comes to mind this time. All I'm left with is blunt honesty.
"...It shouldn't have been something you just 'saw coming', Grayfia. I know things are different down here, and Devils see shit like this differently, but I just- ...I guess I feel like a bit of a prick right now, to be honest."
She remains silent for a moment, no doubt experiencing the same struggle for words as I had just a moment ago.
What sounds like a teleportation spell goes off a moment later, and suddenly I can hear birds chirping softly through her end, no doubt to escape any monitoring of the channel... but no words from my maid still.
As the silence continues, I can't help but desperately wish to have her here beside me, the need in my heart worsened by a sudden bout of laughter from her as she speaks softly through the connection finally.
"Forgive me, Master. I realise now that I did not do enough to explain it to you properly so long ago... that was my mistake. Allow me to rectify. As it stands, almost all Devils are concerned with two things above all else in this world: Power, and reproduction. The two go hand in hand for most."
I close my eyes and listen to her speak, the words registering but still sounding bizarre to my long-held human perspective.
"A powerful Devil warrants multiple spouses to carry their strong genetics, and having multiple partners means a higher chance of producing stronger children. You may think it strange, or unnatural to behold, but a man of your power and uniqueness... monogamy was never in your future, Master. Be it by the Council's order, or your own interest, you would have taken many a woman to bed."
I sigh deeply at her words, hand dragging down my face as I once again struggle to word my thoughts. I would say I'm annoyed, but the truth is I don't think I could ever bring myself to be frustrated with her.
"I understand what you've said, I get that things are different and my- my power and strength is sought after or whatever, that's fine. Human lens and all that... I just can't help but feel like I've wronged you, Grayfia. Wronged you as a person. Forget all the Devil Society shit. Just be honest with me. Are you okay with it?"
A moment passes. She sighs audibly, longingly. Her voice sounds as though a hand were resting against her cheek.
"Your concern for my sake is as heartwarming as ever, Master. I did not realise how much I had come to miss your warmth until I was taken away from it."
I blink in confusion, both incredibly flattered and mildly concerned at her words.
"...thanks? Don't get me wrong, I'm glad to hear that my presence alone is enough to relieve you, and I would genuinely kill a man to be at your side again, but that's not really an answer to my question."
She laughs again, a brief exhale that speaks volumes of her amusement.
"My apologies, Master. I merely wished to tell you how much I yearn to be at your side. As for your question... yes. I am more than okay with your actions, My Lord."
That same spike of relief hits my chest again. I can't help but hate myself that little bit more for even feeling it to begin with.
"Really? I'm not just asking how Grayfia the servant, or the Devil feels, you know?" I say, laughing ever so slightly through the words.
I then pause, hand scrunching in my hair yet again as I now sit against the trunk of the tree, free arm resting on my raised knee while I look up at the burning sky.
"...I love you, Grayfia. I really do. So please, just be honest with me. Have I hurt you?"
She sighs again, that same, longing exhale that leaves me warm and fuzzy in the chest.
"You could never hurt me, Master. No matter if it be physical, or emotional. I am your property above all else in this world. To be hurt by your actions would go against my purpose as your Vassal. Your will is my own, until the day that I die."
I open my mouth immediately to protest her words, to say that I don't see her as just a piece of property to be toyed with, but she interrupts me before I have the chance.
"That being said... No, Master. You haven't hurt me. Not even close. I see now that this is something you have agonised over, and knowing of your human perspective, I can understand why. Allow me to be blunt, then."
Grayfia pauses for a moment, giving me scant time to prepare myself for her words.
"You have made me happy... Yes. Happy, that you cared enough to be honest with me, in spite of all your worries. Happy that you cared enough about me to abide by this lowly servant's wish. That is all I could ever have asked of you, Master."
Another small chuckle escapes her lips, as though she were laughing at the fact that I ever worried about such a trivial matter.
"You should already know my thoughts on this. If I need reiterate them, then so be it..." She says, her words akin to a whisper.
"No matter how many women you take to your bed, or how much you gorge yourself on feminine wiles, I will always be there beside you. I share with you a bond deeper than lust, deeper than love, deeper than anything else this world has to offer, Master."
Her tone is so full of devotion, so full of raw affection, that I can't help but feel warm in the chest all over again, my smile deep and giddy - something she always does to me.
"Centuries will pass, millennia soon after, and I will remain at your side dutifully for every day throughout it all. Both as a woman, and as a servant. My vows to you have not changed... and nor will they ever."
So overwhelmed am I by the visceral outpour of emotion from her, that I can only muster a few short words in response.
"...I'm glad to hear that. I look forward to the many years at your side, Grayfia."
She hums softly, her voice brimming with warmth as she speaks still.
"I can only hope they will last forever." She murmurs, a deep sigh coming from her now as she relishes in the silence that forms after she finishes speaking.
Clearly, she isn't done stroking my ego, though, her next words making me grin.
"Did you know that I smile when I wake up now, Master? I never thought it possible. For years, I struggled to muster even the tiniest curl of my lips... but the thought of your presence in my life is enough to bring me such tender joy that I can't stop smiling each time I wake up."
I laugh at the admission, spilling my heart out for her yet again as I smile dumbly.
"I didn't realise I had such an effect on you. I'd be lying if I said I didn't do the same thing, though... You know, before I came here, I'd never had something like what we have. I had a few brief relationships here and there, sure, but never love. At least, I'd never had someone tell me they loved me until you did. Not once. Hell, some days I still feel like I'm dreaming when I look at that contract."
I can almost hear the arch in her brow as she speaks, a grin on her lips.
"Truly? No one else had told you they loved you before I did? I find that hard to believe, Master. Are you sure you aren't saying that to make me feel special?"
I bark out another deep laugh, head tilting down from my place viewing the sky as I now rub my forehead, grinning slightly.
"If my goal was to make you feel special, I wouldn't have started this conversation by telling you of my infidelity. To be honest, I'm surprised you don't believe me. I'm really not as charming as you think I am."
Grayfia seems to disagree, a smirk on her lips that I can damn near see in front of me despite the vast distance between us.
"Infidelity only applies when there is a breach of trust... but I have always had faith, Master. If anything, all you have done today is strengthen my trust in you even further."
A pause. Her words are softer now. Quieter.
"You really should stop underestimating yourself, Master. It is a bad habit of yours."
I find myself laughing once more, smirking ever so slightly as I summon Caduceus and twirl it in an idle hand, the motions feeling so unexpectedly comforting to me.
"Underestimating? No, I prefer the term 'being intimately aware of where my talents lie'. I've got an ego the size of Mars, I just know that I'm much better for killing a Devil these days than making them swoon."
Grayfia pauses yet again. A moment of silence passes, and when her voice returns, her tone is far more concerned than before.
"...is that all you think yourself good for?"
I hum. My answer comes without a second spared for thought.
"Well, it's the thing I'd easily say I'm best at nowadays. I don't have Academy training, nor any political know-how, or even a single clue about how to run a business and rule a land... I just have my sword, my power, and a dream to keep me going."
She scoffs.
"And so you believe yourself nothing more than a tool? A blade to soak in blood? You are capable of so much more than just violence, Master. Your capacity for hate is matched only by your capacity for love."
My jaw tenses, voice strains as I speak.
"All I've done since I arrived here is kill the people I hate, Grayfia. Men, women, Devils of all kinds. I mean, for fucks sake, I get rewarded for killing people! It's getting real hard not to think of it as my best talent."
Her voice remains calm and steady the whole time, even as it fails her.
"You misunderstand me, Master. I am not asking you to become a pacifist of some kind. Nor am I asking you to change. It is not my place to tell you how to fight your battles, nor how to end them, I just..."
She loses steam shortly after, her words falling into a deep sigh as she considers what to say. Seconds pass like hours, before she finally speaks again, her voice soft as a feather and her tone painfully warm.
"Do you remember what you said to me, on the day that we escaped Lucifaad?"
I smile ruefully at the odd mix of fond and... not-so-fond memories Grayfia's words bring; the fire in her eyes as she fought to save my life, the way her cheeks flushed and burned as she stared at- glowing compound eyes the feeling of flesh being eaten piece by piece by piece make it stop please-
...
"I said a lot of things to you that day, Grayfia. You'll have to be a little more specific."
She huffs, no doubt somewhat displeased that I can't remember them.
"It was one of the most meaningful things I'd ever been told. Even now, I find myself warm in the chest when I think of what you said that day. It felt like you had shattered all my deepest fears with just one sentence."
...alright, it can't have been thatspecial.
"You know, as much as I absolutely love having my ego stroked every now and then, I'm afraid that really doesn't help narrow things down any further."
The smirk that forms on her lips is so prominent that I can hear it in her voice, my heart doing frontflips in my chest as I feel an odd mixture of affection and annoyance at it.
"It seems you truly do have no idea just how charming you can be, Master. I daresay it is your most dangerous quality by far."
I sigh, still smiling warmly at how much praise she always seems to have for me, though I try my best to play it off.
"Alright, I get it. You've made your point. I never thought myself much of a people person, but if you seem to think so, then I'll just have to concede. That's enough time spent buttering me up, though. What were you getting at, before?"
She pauses, either for some form of dramatic tension or to think back on the moment fondly I've no idea.
When she speaks again though, her voice is almost... breathless. As if, even now, the words leave her weak in the knees.
"You said... you said that I deserve to be happy, just like any other Devil. That I deserve to be more than what my suffering have made of me... that I deserve to have the life that was stolen from me. Do you not think that applies to you, as well?"
I find myself blinking in mild shock at my past-self's forwardness, before the memories hit me in the head like a train.
Our first night, Gehrman had left for Lilith, and Alduin had just hatched not five minutes prior. She walked in, alarmed at the noise, and I crumbled like wet sand at the look in her eyes. Just like I always do.
"I remember now. I also remember you saying- and I can recite this, word for word, it's something I'll struggle to forget." I start, laughing softly now as Grayfia stammers out that 'such things are unnecessary'.
"You said: 'I don't want to sleep alone again, Master. Will you stay with me?' all with such a red face, and so tenderly too- fuck me, it's a wonder I didn't ask you to marry me on the spot back then."I finish, still laughing as Grayfia falls silent.
When she speaks again, it's clear she's embarassed, just as clear as it is that she's smiling giddily.
"Was the terrible impression of me truly necessary, Master? You could have gotten your point across just fine without it." She grumbles, and I wish I could see the relucant pout on her lips and those flushed cheeks.
"I stand by it. Honestly, I was convinced you were about to jump me right then and there- you had this look in your eyes, this hunger."
She huffs, a shuffle of fabric audible as she goes so far as to fold her arms.
"The word you're looking for is love, Master. Perhaps not fully, no, but after all that you had done for me that day, it was difficult not to feel an... intense lust towards you in that moment. Looking back, I truly am impressed that I managed to stop myself from indulging in that feeling."
I snort at her words, and at the shameless thoughts that spill out freely I respond.
"I wish you hadn't. I'd have given up on the War entirely that day for just a few hours between your legs. Fuck the Demi-fiend, I'd have rather been the Demi-father."
She chokes slightly, either not expecting my directness or entirely weak to it, her voice trembling ever so slightly as she clears her throat to stifle the tremors.
"You are utterly incorrigible, Master. A single minded brute of a man. Hopeless, even."
I grin, my cheeks still as warm as ever.
"You love me really. Besides, if my memory serves me right, you were the one who nearly jumped me in the High Court not long ago. Seems you're just as bad as I am."
She takes a deep breath at the memory, her composure slipping if only for a moment as she does her best to restrain the shiver in her voice, her tone low and warm.
"You're right, Master. I do love you. Enough to let you use me as you so please in such a hallowed building, just like the lustful brute of a man that I know you to be-"
"-Ahem!"
...
I furrow my brows, suddenly very, very fucking alert as my jaw tenses, standing ramrod straight.
That voice wasn't Grayfia's. That was a different woman entirely. One I distinctly do not recognise, either. One of the Phenex?
Is she in danger?
"...Are you alright, Grayfia?" I ask slowly, sword in hand and ready to teleport to her at a moments notice, the War be damned.
Immediately, she responds, tension draining from my limbs in the blink of an eye as she does so, resisting the urge to sigh deeply and very much missing the atmosphere we had just a few seconds ago.
"Yes, Master, I'm fine. I apologise, I had been hoping to tell you sooner, but... it seems I lost myself in conversation with you. The truth is, there is someone here with me. Someone who would..."
She pauses. I can almost hear the sound of thoughts rolling around in her mind, before she picks up right where she left off, though much, much more smug this time.
"...Someone who would very much like to meet you, Master."
My jaw tenses again, an odd feeling of frustration towards her filling my mind the instant I hear that.
"Wha- and you didn't think to mention that at any point, Grayfia? Fuck, how much of this conversation have they heard?" I ask, a hand to my head.
I see now why she couldn't speak about the Phenex negotiations, at least. Channels are monitored out the ass, so chances are she got stuck with a chaperone to make sure she didn't spill any trade secrets while we chatted away.
At least, that's my running theory. It certainly lines up with the teleportation sound I'd heard beforehand, though.
"Only the words I have spoken. Nothing from your end. She has heard only what I have allowed her to." She says slowly, her words firm and measured as she continues quietly.
"I ask only that you trust me now, Master. Have faith in your most humble servant."
I sigh, hand scrunching in my hair as I do so without hesitation, having faith that whatever is happening now is necessary to her negotiations with the Phenex.
I almost find myself shocked at how easy it is to place my faith in her nowadays. Almost.
"Fine then. Introduce me to our little voyeur."
I can hear the smile in her words again, a small shift of Mana as she extends the communication channel.
"As you command, Master. Allow me to introduce you to the esteemed Lady Rosalia Phenex, second daughter of the Lord Ruben Phenex, and an... acquaintance of mine, from days long since passed."
That's definitely an interesting way of describing her. Must be someone she worked with under the Officio Satanorum, because she definitely didn't sound friendly.
"Thank you, Lady Grayfia. Ahem. It truly is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Lord Demi-fiend. You have become quite the talking point among the Underworld, and I am grateful for your time today."
...great. Another stick-up-the-ass noble. Fine. I can play ball.
"It's Lord Mammon, actually. Demi-fiend is the title, not the name. If you're going to address me with respect, either commit to it, or don't do it at all. At this point I'm starting to think it's intentional."
She clears her throat again, seeming more than happy to kiss my ass. Either she wants something, or she's got an image to maintain.
No chance in hell she's a fan of me. I'm not that lucky these days.
"Yes, Demi-fiend. Forgive my ignorance. I hear you spoken of as the Demi-fiend instead so often that it has become far too easy to forget your actual name."
I sigh, massaging the bridge of my nose.
"Yeah, well... tell me about it. Starting to forget my own damn name myself these days. Now, 'Lady Rosalia', is there something you want from me? Or are you just here to make some idle chatter?"
She hums, a soft sound.
"I suppose I wanted to acquaint myself with the man Lady Grayfia pledged herself to. The Grayfia I knew was a cold, cunning machine, but... looking at her now, you could almost forget all of her heinous crimes."
My hand shifts from the bridge of my nose to the bags under my eyes. As if that could help stave off the exhaustion in my soul.
"Yes, well, it turns out all those housewives in the past were right. Some tender love goes a long way - now are you quite done insulting my servant, lady?"
She hums again, a hint of surprise this time.
"An insult? Forgive me, Demi-fiend. I meant it only as a compliment to the both of you. I merely wanted to reminisce on the days before your arrival, to show how far the Lady Grayfia has come since then."
I snort, unwilling but not unwelcome.
"Bold choice, I'll admit. How should I show this woman I'm proud of her? Ah, I know, I'll remind her of the worst period of her life. That'll really earn me some brownie points."
A beat passes. My tone shifts.
"...Cut the shit already, Rosalia. You're either an adept in the art of being a passive aggressive cunt, or you're trying real hard to get under my skin. Either way, you're mediocre at both - so what's your game?"
She stops, almost in shock, before bursting into laughter. It's a soft, bemused thing.
"Forgive me. I have heard stories of your vast temper and crude tongue, Demi-fiend. They speak of you like a rabid animal in Ars Goetia. I simply had to hear it for myself."
My jaw tenses, an involuntary response as a small, almost imperceptible twitch in my finger begins to worsen. Of course they do.
"...Charming. Truly. I take it that's why you were so desperate to get my attention in that little letter you sabotaged, then?"
Silence.
She pauses for a moment, but it's not deliberate. At least, not that I can tell.
"...No. I was merely testing your confidence. If you had come alone to the lands of House Phenex in spite of the risk, it would have told me all I need to know about you as a man. That you sent your servant on her lonesome has only reinforced that belief."
I hum, brow raised as if there was even a chance she could see it.
"You sure I'm not just some mook? An idiot who can't see the myriad of reasons your family would have to want me dead?"
She laughs again. Airy. Breathless. As though this were fun for her.
"Perhaps the rest of the Underworld would believe so - perhaps they see you as an animal, a man with power and rage enough to beat down every problem he faces with the blissful ignorance of an idiot... but I see beyond that. Beyond your hate. I see a man who wants more than the bad hand he has been dealt in life. I see a man with ambition."
Again, my brows raises, jaw tensing. My grip over Caduceus tightens, the motion an instinct that worsens by the day as I respond to her words with slow, measured words.
"You speak like you know an awful lot about me, lady. Should I be flattered?"
...I think I'm beginning to hate her laughter.
"I was born the second daughter of a noble house. My name and 'power' in the same sentence is an impossibility... so yes. I do know a lot about you, Demi-fiend. I've been rather inspired by your rise to power thus far. I must say, your escape from Lucifaad was a rather entertaining story to learn of. Using Bidleid's own cousin against him to buy yourself time? Truly a spark of genius."
Something akin to a chill travels down my back. It's strange. I usually love attention, but fuck if I don't absolutely hate it when people know more about me than I'd like.
"You never mentioned you'd be putting a stalker on the line, Grayfia."
When my servant speaks, I quickly realise that she's felt the same odd chill as I have, her tone cold enough to be called frigid.
"I hadn't known she was, Master. You never mentioned such knowledge before, Rosalia. How did you come to learn all of this?"
Rosalia laughs once again, a small snickering beneath her breath. Either she's hamming it up to get under my skin, or she's got a real shallow sense of humour.
"It's as I said already. When I learned of a half-breed taking fate into his own hands, I was uniquely enthralled. I have been following your legend closely ever since. It did not take long for me to find an ex-slave of Clan Lucifuge whom you had ferried to safety that day, and she was more than happy to go on and on about your courageousness, your valour."
She pauses. Another hum echoes in the transmission, Grayfia and I remaining silent and allowing her to keep talking.
"I suppose you could call me a... rather big fan of your work, Demi-fiend."
I laugh to myself upon hearing that. Small, brief, and thankfully inaudible.
"You've definitely made that clear. I gotta say, whatever lessons in ass-kissing they give you Academy students must be top notch. I actually almost believed you for a second there. You sure you're a fan and not just an eccentric surveyor for the Phenex?"
She huffs, having the gall to sound offended.
"Your distrust is both expected, and noted. Though it does not change anything. I know quite a bit about you, Demi-fiend. Enough to make me even more intrigued for that which I don't know. I do not need your belief, or trust to maintain a vested interest in you."
The utter exhaustion that tears away at my soul only worsens after she finishes.
"So amicable. It's no wonder you and Grayfia get along oh so well, Rosalia. For what it's worth, you won't find anything more about me if you dig further. I know that'll only make you want to search even more, but I figured I'd spare you from the inevitable sense of disappointment."
Again, she hums, sounding much more interested than before as she speaks.
"Is that so? A shame. I was beginning to grow interested in your life before Lucifaad. It truly does seem as though you just... fell out of the sky one day. Your history has me very, very intrigued, Demi-fiend."
There's a distinct purr in her voice, an edge to her every word that I'm not sure how to feel about - at least, how to feel about it outside of the visceral disgust that comes instinctively at the idea of being so thoroughly exposed.
"You think I fell from the sky? Not a bad guess. I'm actually a spy sent by Lord Azazel to stoke the flames of the Civil War. Dealing enough damage and getting a new set of Satan's on the throne means the Devils will be in a weak enough position to consider opening trade with the Fallen."
She scoffs almost instantly.
"A sorry attempt at a joke, Demi-fiend. Was that supposed to be your cover story? Because trade with the Fallen won't be happening within this millennia, let alone by the end of this sordid War."
I snort, shaking my head, even though I know she can't see me.
"No. No cover. To be honest, I was just pulling your leg. I wanted to see how you'd react if I told you I was a Fallen spy... I guess you Phenex really aren't on any one side of this war fully, are you?"
She grins again, something I can tell through her voice and the way it sounds ever so slightly more intimate in my ear.
"The Phenex pledge allegiance to two things in this world. The winner, and the Sol. So long as you Satanihilus continue to win, then you shall continue to have our business."
I decide very quickly that I'm growing tired of this conversation, and that I want to end it. After all, I can't even properly chat with my adoring maid with this pompous prick breathing down my throat, and I'm getting slightly concerned at the way she's trying so hard to butter me up.
"Yes, well, depending on how quickly my power grows, it could very well end up being that they don't need your business in this war, Rosalia. Just some food for thought. Now is that all you have to say?"
Silence. For a brief moment there is only silence, an almost imperceptible intake of air being the only sign that she's even still alive. When she speaks, her voice is empty, as though she were trying incredibly hard to compose herself.
Probably due to the fact that I said 'when' instead of 'if'. May as well make her think my takeover of House Phenex' place is an inevitability rather than a possibility. It should make Grayfia's negotiations far easier if they feel as though there's a timer ticking down.
"I see. Yes, then. That is all I wanted to say, Demi-fiend. You truly are just as interesting as I'd hoped. Thank you for your time."
As quickly as she appeared in our communication, she vanishes, though I imagine she's still standing at Grayfia's side for now. A very, very interesting character.
One I get the distinct feeling I'll be seeing again someday. Call it a hunch, call it pattern recognition. The women I meet are always the most troublesome people in my life.
"I feel sorry for you, if you have to spend every day on this little trip of yours dealing with her. You sure you don't want to call it quits with them, wait for me to be done here so we can hack at it together, Grayfia?"
She sighs, a fond smile on her lips.
"No, Master. I believe I am making headway in a rather... beneficial deal with the Phenex. One that would benefit us both. Thank you for the concern, though. It warms my heart."
It doesn't take an idiot to hear the tender joy in her voice. The way she speaks to me like I hung the stars in the sky for her. I'm not sure how much it says about me that I could spend hours just listening to her voice.
"It's difficult not to be concerned. I got so used to having you around, having you always within reach, that now it all feels strange. If I went home, back to the manor, it would be empty. Lifeless without you."
Grayfia's breath hitches slightly, back to the calm and composed rhythm I'd been hearing for most of this conversation before I can even comment on it. When she speaks though, there's a giddiness to her voice that i hadn't expected to hear.
"If that is the case, then... could you do something for me, Master? Could you lift up your arm? The one that holds our contract."
Without question, I follow her words, going so far as to lift back the sleeve of my coat to expose the contract directly, still burned into my flesh with perfect clarity.
Then, a pulse. A small feeling of warmth, flooding my body and growing by the second. Another follows shortly after.
"What... are you doing, Grayfia?" I say, feeling a strange sense of comfort wash over me as I speak.
She giggles softly upon hearing me.
"I discovered it only recently. This bond of ours is truly something special, Master. With a small pulse of Mana, I can... almost transmit my warmth to you. Father never mentioned such a property of his own contract, so I think this is... something new."
I blink, surprised. Something new? Is it because of my own unique powers? A natural facet of our binding, or something borne from the Systems influence?
"I didn't think it was anything more than a nifty tattoo. Nice to know it serves another purpose, at least." I say, grinning now as I send a pulse of my Mana through the bond.
-1MP!
Grayfia once again giggles softly as I feel a pulse be sent back, bringing with it another distinct, tender feeling of warmth, as though her arms were wrapping around me in this very moment.
"Fascinating, isn't it? I meant what I said, when I suggested our bond was deeper than anything else. It seems we are linked on a level deeper than any other. At the very least, should you feel lonely, or find yourself missing my presence... then you know what to do now. I'll make sure to respond in kind."
I hum, doing my best to ignore the giddy smile that forms on my lips as she continues to send pulse after pulse through the link.
"I'll be sure to keep that in mind. Just don't blame me if I keep you up at night with how often I make use of it."
Another peal of breathless laughter, another flood of warmth. Fuck, I hate how she makes me feel like a child, hopelessly in love, and I hate thay I love every second if it even more.
"Yes. Perhaps with this, you won't find yourself caught up so easily in battle - or inbattle - with Serafall again."
My smile drops.
The reminder is a rather sobering one. I can't believe I'd actually allowed myself to forget just how monumental of a fuckup I'd made with her for a moment.
"I don't think it'll happen again, Grayfia." I start, frowning now.
Are you so sure? This isn't the first time you've made that promise, is it?
"After all the shit that happened to us, all the shit that happened just now... I don't think I can deal with her anymore. I thought there was some chance maybe we could fix whatever facsimile of a friendship we had, but she seems determined to stop me."
To my surprise, Grayfia doesn't celebrate. She doesn't say I've 'made the right choice', or that she's glad I realised who's better between the two of them, or some sappy shit like that. No. She almost seems somber.
"...may I make a request of you, Master?"
My head tilts in curiosity at the smallness in her voice, brows furrowed as I oblige her.
"Sure. Anything, Grayfia. Don't hesitate."
She takes a deep breath, finding some strength within herself to speak with an alarming degree of confidence now. Part of me almost thinks this is rehearsed.
"Then... may I ask that you not give up on Serafall, Master? No matter how hard, or how difficult it may be? Can I- can I ask that you please try your best?"
My jaw drops. For the first time in a very, very long time, I find myself utterly speechless. It takes several seconds for me to even have a coherent thought in my mind, and another few seconds for me to voice it.
"...what? Why? Why would you want me to do that?"
She sighs again, her voice trembling slightly now as she speaks.
"When I was alone, lost with no future or hope for my life, you came in and saved me from my own hopelessness before I could lose myself fully to it. I've seen what Serafall is like, Master. Heard stories. She... she reminds me of myself. For all the worst reasons. Trapped in a cage of her own fears, her own self-hatred. She's suffering."
I bite down on my lip to try and bring some semblance of focus to my mind, to help wrap my head around the bizarre direction this conversation has turned in.
"You realise I just got intimate with her, right? Are you- are you asking me to do it again?"
She huffs, a relucant smile on her lips.
"No, Master. I'm not asking you to... indulge yourself with Lady Serafall again, though it isn't my place to say otherwise. I'm... I'm asking you to try something new. To do your best to rekindle whatever small friendship you had. No matter how harsh it may seem. She- she needs you. She needs a hand to reach out to her."
My jaw tenses, feeling uniquely mixed about this whole request of hers.
"I didn't take you for an altruist, Grayfia. Where's this sudden desire to help her come from, anyways?"
Her composure slips ever so slightly. I make out the barest hint of a hitch in her breathing as she responds to me.
"Every moment she spends in suffering is by my hand, Master. All the years of pain and loneliness, of agony. I... I don't want her to spend the rest of her life paying the burden of my sins. I am not expecting forgiveness from her for what I have done, if you agree to this. Merely... I want to atone for what happened that day. This is the first step."
...how could I ever say no to that?
"Fine. I'll... I'll try, Grayfia. For you. I make no guarantees for results, but I'll try to help her as best I can. It might take some time to get anywhere with her, though."
Grayfia sighs, as though a tremendous weight has been lifted from her shoulders.
"Thank you, Master. Truly. Thank you for heeding this lowly servant's request, as you always do. It means the world to me."
I find myself flushed at the way she speaks, at the gratitude in her words.
"Think nothing of it, Grayfia. I do it because I love you. Besides, if she stops being such an ass after this, I only stand to gain from it."
She doesn't speak for another moment after that. The conversation comes to a brief lull, neither of us knowing just what to saw now.
Only soft breaths can be heard down the line occasionally, until Grayfia finally finds the words she wishes to say, a sudden change to the conversation that I hadn't expected.
"If you don't mind me asking, Master... what is this dream of yours that you mentioned earlier in our conversation?"
I furrow my brows, confused for only a moment before the realisation hits, my eyes widening ever so slightly.
"Oh. Shit, I'm surprised you remember that. We moved on from it pretty damn quick." I mutter, laughing softly as I speak.
Grayfia, however, isn't laughing.
"I made sure to remember it. It is something I've never heard you speak of. At least, not fully. Would you... would you be willing to share that knowledge with me, Master?"
I blink, stunned at the question as my twirling of Caduceus stops briefly, having expected something entirely different.
For several long seconds, her words echo in my mind, bounce around in my conscience like the verbal equivalent of a flashbang as I tighten my hold over the blade.
My lips open to say two short words in response - the throne - but find them falling to ashes on my tongue. To say all I want is the throne would be disingenuous. It would be a lie, a diminishing of my true desires.
What I've wanted has always been simple.
"...Freedom. I dream of freedom."
She pauses, a deep intake of breath that leaves me slightly worried, worried I've said too much, that I've let slip more than I should have. Once again, I have to remind myself that Grayfia is one of the few people I can actually trust, and calm my mind.
"Freedom... how? From what, exactly?" She asks finally, a mix of confused and intrigued.
The words come to my lips in the blink of an eye, thoughts spoken that linger on the edges of my mind almost constantly.
"Freedom from my blood. Freedom from choice. Freedom from weakness." I say, listing parts of it off with ease.
"I don't want to be burdened with the idea of choosing the things I want in life. Call it childish, but I want everything I can take, all the money, power and prestige I could ever have in my hands."
It feels... uniquely relieving to say this aloud.
"I want to be free of my petty weakness. To never be sat at the foot of another, to never beg and plead. I never want to spend another second at someone else's mercy. I want to be in control of my life." I continue, voice firm and measured.
"Most of all... I want to be free. Truly free. To go and explore where I please, to do and say what I want- to see the world around me, live life to the fullest and carve my own path, consequences be damned!" I shout to the empty forest, head resting against the soft bark of a tree once more.
"...Dying young changes your mindset on what it means to truly live, Grayfia. I want to live a life I can be proud of, one with no regrets... No matter what that may entail."
Silence. For a long moment, there is silence on the other end as Grayfia collects her thoughts. When she speaks, her voice is firm, as though she had already decided to help me on this journey.
"And what would you be willing to do for this dream of yours, Master? For this freedom?"
I laugh softly at her question, the answer forming in my mind before I can even blink.
The weight of Caduceus in my hand feels like that of a feather as I point it to the sky.
"...Anything."
She laughs softly. The contract pulses with tender warmth once again.
"Then I do shall do anything within my power to help fight for it alongside you, Master."