Alive.
It's a feeling that no one could describe exactly what it meant. But for a certain individual, it was pitch black.
Nothing could be seen except the feeling of being submerged underwater, unable to move a single bit, as they lost the ability to think.
The concept of time had vanished, and the brain had fallen into hibernation as it was unable to sustain itself.
After who knows how long, a light appeared, piercing through the darkness.
---
In a small house, a young woman was lying on her bed with a young man standing by her side.
An old-looking woman stood near the end of the bed with a blanket, covering her arms and the young woman's leg.
"Congratulations, it's a boy, " the old woman announced as she cut the cord with a pair of scissors.
"I knew it! I told you this one was going to be a boy. I told you, " the young woman yelled in excitement.
"Yeah, yeah. We can finally stop here. No more babies."
As the young woman tried to reach for the baby, the old woman remained still, and a frown appeared on her face as she kept the crying baby in her arms.
"Um, is there something wrong?" The young woman asked curiously.
"I might need to take my words back... The baby might be a girl. I don't know which one exactly."
"What?"
Both parents asked in confusion, unable to understand what the old woman meant until she finally handed the baby over to the wife.
"It's a boy. What do you mean it's a girl?" The man asked in confusion, noticing the baby had clear male genitalia in the front.
"Honey, this..."
As his wife lifted the baby, the husband instantly realized what was wrong. There was a small entrance right below the male genitalia.
It was a thing only a woman would have on their body. Not something that a typical man would ever have on their body.
"How could this be? It doesn't make sense," The man asked, looking all confused as he hoped for an explanation from the midwife.
"I think I know what it is exactly... There have been cases of this happening in an ancient text I had once read."
The old woman's answer reignited some hope in the two parents, knowing they weren't the only outliers facing this.
"Was it a good thing or a bad thing?" The wife nervously asked.
"Their life is going to be extremely difficult when they grow up... I heard some churches might view the baby as a deviant or a curse."
"What should we do? Is there some sort of magic or surgery to fix it?" The husband urgently asked, his face starting to look a little desperate.
"Well, there is some magic that can change one's gender temporarily. But I'm afraid there is no permanent solution... If you guys really don't want the kid, I can take it——"
"No, we'd like to keep it."
The wife declared, not hesitating a single bit, compared to the husband, who still looked a little hesitant to deal with the weird baby in her arms.
In the end, he remained silent, respecting his wife's choice.
"Very well then..."
---
After everything was dusted, the old woman left the house.
The moment she left, a little girl excitedly ran straight into the bedroom before being carried up to the bed.
"Mom! Dad! Do I have a new brother or sister?" The little girl curiously asked.
"Um, well, you have a new sibling named... Alex. Right, babe?"
The husband answered as he helped the little girl up to bed, allowing her to see the baby resting in the mother's arms.
"Alex is a good name... Sophia, what do you think about Alex?" The wife softly asked as she moved the baby closer to the little girl's face.
"It's ugly!" Sophia answered bluntly.
"Hey, don't call your sibling like that." The wife warned as she quickly moved the baby back into her arms.
"Ahem, Sophia, you wanted to learn about swords, right? I think it's the perfect time for me to teach you how to use a sword."
"Yay! Let's go!"
With both the man and the little girl gone from the room, the wife was now all alone with the baby as she held the baby tightly.
"Do you want to be a boy or a girl?" The wife murmured as she tickled the baby's belly with her finger.
"Waaaaa!"
As the baby suddenly started crying, the wife quickly stopped. She thought she might have scared the baby with the question.
"What am I thinking? They can't even talk yet... Okay, okay, calm down. It's time for your nap nap."
As the wife gently swung the baby a little in her arms, the sobbing soon stopped as they fell into exhaustion.
---
One year quickly flew by.
Alex was mostly asleep the whole time, only waking up to eat and sleep as his brain became overcapacitated from trying to remember everything.
Most of his memory was completely fogged out, with name details and people's faces all wiped out as if they never existed.
The only thing he retained was knowledge, from changing a TV remote battery to swimming, to knowing his previous life was a man.
Everything seemed to be fine as he was quick to accept his new life... until he finally noticed the differences in his body.
So-called 'bug' on his body... Or her body.
Yet, this wasn't the biggest issue he was facing.
The real embarrassment was being unable to control anything. He was constantly peeing and poop in his own diapers.
What's worse was that the 'woman' who was responsible for taking care of him was always distracted for some reason.
She just kept staring at the wall idly, forcing him to cry to draw her attention.
It was just the most embarrassing thing imaginable. Having her wipe his body with a wet towel and change his diaper constantly.
To comfort himself, Alex kept reminding himself that the dignity lost here was the necessary cost to live as a baby.
There was no other choice.
Outside of the diaper embarrassment, there was also a second thing that made him feel extremely embarrassed.
Alex had to suckle a woman's nipple every few hours, more specifically, from the woman who had given birth to him.
He knew who she was from the very beginning, when he could see her beautiful and kind face with his very own eyes.
Just couldn't bring himself to face the woman as his mother.
Every time she came to breastfeed him, Alex's mind was mesmerized by her boobs. He knew he was abusing his status as a baby against the naive woman.
Sometimes he didn't suckle at all and just kept on playing with it with his tiny hands. Not once did she ever get mad at him.
However, as more and more time passed, guilt began to develop inside Alex's heart. The woman was sacrificing everything for him.
Especially when he got hungry in the middle of the night, she immediately woke up to feed him with a tired face.
No complaints, no anger. Only a warm, infectious smile that evaporated every dirty thought in any person's mind.
In Alex's very own eyes, the woman was and is his mother. The only mother he had left in this world.
The one who can always protect him.
---
Time continued to fly by as Alex began to learn how to walk and even speak, albeit repeating words with no understanding behind them.
Soon, he was two years old.
Alex could finally walk around the house with his mom or dad nearby rather than being trapped in a small crib every day.
"Hey Alex, come here. I want to show you something."
A little girl two years older quickly waved towards him. Although 'little,' she was a giant in comparison to his tiny body.
"Hm?"
Alex hesitated for a second as he looked over to his mother, who looked at the two for a second before gently brushing his hair.
"You can go play with Sophia. Don't hurt yourself, though."
"Come. Hurry!"
Alex quickly wobbled his way to where Sophia stood, only to find himself inside the parents' bedroom.
"What a-are we doing here?" Alex asked curiously, his mind barely able to speak in a coherent sentence.
"You're about to have another sibling! Aren't you excited?" Sophia inquired as she grabbed his hands.
"Why would I be excited over that?"
Alex knew his mother had been pregnant again, as she had been sitting on the sofa most of the time with the obvious big belly.
"Come on, Alex, you don't want a little sister or a little brother? We'll have another person to play with at home."
"D-Don't really care."
Seeing Alex looking uninterested, Sophia went over to the toy box to take out a stuffed animal to play with.
"Hmph, you sound like Dad more and more every day."
"W-What's wrong with that?"
Alex's question made Sophia fall silent, but she wasn't just going to let that slide as she went back inside the box to draw out a toy sword.
"How dare you talk back to your sister? Take this!"
As Sophia started charging towards him with the sword, Alex immediately turned around and bolted out of the room.
"Mom! Sophia is trying to hit me!"
---
As Alex turned four years old, the entire family's attention was focused on Alex's little sister, Mary.
Sophia was now old enough to go outside to play with the neighbor while Alex was stuck indoors, with his new job being his little sister's playmate.
The only free time he was given was when Mary fell asleep, allowing him to pick up the books from the bottom of the bookshelf.
Even though he couldn't understand a single word inside, the pictures next to the words gave him an understanding of the outside world.
He was clearly living in a fantasy world where swords and magic existed to fight things like dragons and monsters.
Alex's suspicion was only further confirmed when, one day, he walked past his mom in the kitchen.
Right before his eyes, she cast some sort of spell that caused a big flame to shoot out of her fingertip.
There was no single fuel source or ignition—just open flames that appeared out of thin air.
When Alex asked her about it, she didn't bother hiding at all as she confirmed that magic existed in this world.
She even repeated the magical flame right in front of his eyes and told him that she was a powerful mage herself.
It planted a seed inside his mind, a sense of direction for his new life that he could aim for. A goal that he never had in his previous life.
Unfortunately, reality hit when he pleaded with her to teach him magic. His mother dismissed him with a single phrase.
"You're too young for this."
Although Alex's initial attempt failed, his nagging eventually caused them to be fed up with it.
He was given a wooden sword.
It wasn't as exciting as magic, but it was still something that allowed him to escape from being his little sister's playmate.
Training in the art of sword fighting was actually exciting at first, especially when his dad allowed him to swordfight his older sister.
But it soon turned into a mundane task where he lost every single time. The sheer size difference was rigged against him.
Still, knowing he was living in a magical world was enough for Alex to endure anything. He knew patience was key.
The key to magic.