Ciri glances at Nina.
"You must have spent quite a bit of time alone in your forest, as a dragon. Tell me...how was it?" (Ciri)
Nina, still reeling from the implications of Ciri's little rant, quietly reflects on the question. When she thinks back to those countless millennia alone in the Delmura Forest, she doesn't even register most of it. She just...was, few things worth remembering. There were moments of note, good and bad. Halzar harassing her out of her old nest, meeting the two Otherworlders before Mizuki. But those were blips, only defined by their contrast to an otherwise boring existence.
She shrugs at Ciri.
"I mean...worthless, mostly. Nothing stands out, but I also didn't do much. Things weren't as eventful as now." (Nina)
Ciri smiles sadly.
"Perhaps...but tell me this. Your most boring day as a human in the last...month, you said? How does it compare to the your most interesting day as a dragon in those millennia you're describing?" (Ciri)
Nina raises her eyebrows, considering it. Her most interesting day as a dragon in recent millennia was spent lying in the sun of her old nest, talking to that Otherworlder from a few centuries ago. She vaguely recalls being amused by tales of his home world and his travels here on Azura, but even then, it was only enjoyable by contrast to her boredom. As for her most boring day as a human...she wouldn't describe any of them that way.
"I suppose that it's not even close...I've quite enjoyed all of my days as a human. Like I said, my life is more eventful now. My most enjoyable day as a dragon during that time was chatting with one of Azazel's human transplants when he stumbled into my nest." (Nina)
Ciri smirks.
"So, you're telling me that you haven't had a comparably uneventful day as a human yet? A day spent outside, just talking with your mate or observing something or someone else interesting?" (Ciri)
Her brow furrows.
"Well, thats diff-..." (Nina)
Nina trails off, a realization settling in her mind. She's had a couple days more or less like Ciri describes – just walking around Elmesia or Eden, talking with Mizuki. Or, sparring with Zara in her nest. But they felt so much...more. Richer, meaningful...not like that day in her nest – an idle way to pass time, where afterwards nothing feels like it's changed. And yet...were these experiences not functionally comparable?
The truth hits her like a physical weight on her chest. Lying in the sun, admiring the beautiful lake in her nest, chatting with Mizuki all day – now, that sounds like something to aspire towards, rich with value. It's not just her schedule that's changed, existing as a human...it's her living, the value she places on little things in her life. Now, everything just feels so much more worthwhile. All those countless dragon days she's filed away as essentially worthless, she was just missing what they could have offered.
'Or...perhaps I couldn't experience their value...not really.'
The thought fills her with an inexplicable sense of anger...one she doesn't know where to direct, or how to resolve. How many times has she wished she'd met Mizuki sooner? How many times has she been retroactively envious of the sense of fulfillment she has in her life now, cursing that it didn't exist back then?
And now, she's finally realizing – Mizuki wasn't the only factor in that shift. Maybe not to the same degree as with him, but even without him, maybe her human form could have injected a greater sense of enjoyment, of worth, into all those millennia alone.
A bitter laugh reaches her ears. She glances at Ciri, who is staring at her with a frustrated but sympathetic expression.
"So...you get it – I can tell by how angry you look. Those millennia you're thinking of were never worthless, you just couldn't appreciate their value. That god prolonged our existences but took our lives...the parts that mean something. And this form that we can take, the one that Veyron, Halzar, and all the others of our kind disdain as weak, it's our pathway to reclaiming a stolen part of ourselves." (Ciri)
Nina stares back at Ciri, complicated emotions swirling within her, her expression rife with disbelief and exasperation. She speaks, her voice almost...accusatory.
"Why...why did you never tell me this?" (Nina)
Ciri shrugs.
"You never asked. Besides, if I had, would it have made a difference? Even when you arrived here today, after growing in strength and experiencing the truth of this form, you could only see its differences as weaknesses. You still clung to that foolish idea that our dragon form is superior in every way, by design.
"If I had tried to tell you this back then, tried to give you wisdom you weren't looking for, you'd have ignored it. As the least powerful of us, you were always obsessed with proving otherwise, Nina. Avoiding signs of weakness, convincing the others not to look down on you. You weren't ready to hear what I had to say. It's something you had to experience for yourself. And, now you have." (Ciri)
Nina winces. The blatant characterization of her personality feels like a slap to her face. Yet, she can't deny the truth in Ciri's words, either, and that only fills her with more disdain for herself. While she's distracted, reflecting on this, Ciri's gaze drifts to her. The ice queen's voice turns curious.
"Speaking of which, why did you take human form? All Elder Dragons use it on occasion, for one reason or another. But experiencing what you've described requires completely living this way for days...weeks. That's something that other Elder Dragons don't do. So why have you?" (Ciri)
Nina's thoughts are still swirling with Ciri's revelations, distracting her, and she answers flippantly.
"Mainly convenience...and sex." (Nina)
For several moments there's only silence, until Nina begins to notice its strange weight. She glances at Ciri, only to find her staring, genuinely shocked.
"You and your mate have been...having sex in human form?" (Ciri)
Nina freezes, cursing herself for the offhanded comment. Eventually, though, she just nods – Elder Dragons can't be lied to, even by other Elder Dragons. Ciri's expression remains frozen for several seconds, before slowly twisting into a disturbing grin. Then, she laughs...manically.
"HAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh gods! Oh no! No, no, no, no, no, no! Ohhhhh! Are you insane!? Just being in your human form for that, it'd be overwhelming! Addicting! But with the Bond, those feelings are doubled, the culmination of both you and your mate's sensations. No wonder you're losing your mind! Pahahahahaha!" (Ciri)
Nina stares in bewildered silence, unable to recognize the boisterous, laughing mess in front of her. Since when does Cerilia, Ice Queen of the Elder Dragons, laugh!? Alas, she quickly remembers that this is a potentially dangerous line of discussion...one that may lead to questions about her mate.
Nina clears her throat pointedly.
"Ehem...uhm, so you've been visiting human settlements? What started that?" (Nina)
Ciri eventually gets herself under control and shrugs at the question, not caring enough to read into the subject change.
"At first, just acquiring things that I like. Wood for this fireplace, to enjoy the sensations of walking into a warm nest from the cold. Then, a bathtub, for similar reasons. Eventually, I started to observe the humans, hoping I'd learn more about how to enjoy living in this form.
"I still go there every few years to do that when I get the urge, and sometimes I find interesting things to bring back. I found a card game a few decades ago, and brought it back with that table and chairs. Oh...do you want to play? I'm used to playing alone." (Ciri)
Ciri looks at her curiously, slightly expectant. Nina doesn't even hesitate to say yes. Not only does she love games, but this sounds like the perfect way to move conversation away from Mizuki.
She nods at Ciri, smiling genuinely.
"Fufufu...of course, that sounds like fun." (Nina)
So, her and Ciri move to the nearby table and begin playing Ciri's card game.
Hours pass that way, Ciri's competitive spirit flaring in a way that Nina finds both surprising and amusing. All the while, the two make idle chat about their experiences in human form, both appreciating the opportunity to finally hear about it from the perspective of someone else who can relate.
In the middle of one game, Ciri is staring intently at the cards in her hand, no doubt planning her next move. She speaks, casual, absentminded.
"By the way, how's Halzar doing? I haven't seen him in forever." (Ciri)
Nina, equally engrossed in her cards, shrugs dismissively.
"No clue, I haven't seen him in millennia. Ahaha! Four-of-a-kind! Taste defeat, snow lizard!" (Nina)
Nina slams her hand down onto the table, nearly cracking it, and directs a smug grin at Ciri. However, Ciri is no longer paying attention to their card game, instead staring at her intently. Nina raises her eyebrows.
"What?" (Nina)
Ciri purses her lips thoughtfully, clearly puzzled.
"Earlier you mentioned beating Veyron senseless, which doesn't sound like a mate. I assumed that meant it was Halzar. But if you haven't seen him in millennia, it can't be him. Did you really settle for Veyron?" (Ciri)
Nina freezes, a shiver running through her.
'Damn it...'
Stunned into silence, Nina fails to answer for a moment too long. Ciri's eyes narrow, and her voice grows more suspicious. More thoughtful.
"Now that I think about it, it's weird that you didn't talk about your mate at all, isn't it? The human women I've observed would always be very talkative when they acquire a new mate. Which means...are you are avoiding the topic?" (Ciri)
Nina swallows nervously, scrambling to come up with a way to fix this slip-up. However, after a mere second of silence, Ciri's eyes widen in shock.
"Actually, you can't be Veyron's mate. If you were, since he was stronger to begin with, it'd be impossible for you to surpass him through Bonding. You've fought and beat him, which means...your mate..." (Ciri)
Ciri stands up from her chair suddenly, sending it flying across the room.
"It's someone else...someone strong. Someone with enough power that Bonding caused this boon to your prowess. And you mentioned sex in your human form, which means a humanoid or a creature with a humanoid transformation. As far as I know...there aren't any other such creatures on Azura other than us Elder Dragons, so..." (Ciri)
Ciri leans over the table, her eyes burning obsessively as she meets Nina's gaze.
"Explain, Nina...just who and what is your mate?" (Ciri)