I remember performing Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by myself during a talent show in middle school.
At that time, I loved acting as a way to tell my story, and I was excited to show people my own depiction of Jekyll and Hyde, as I felt the nature of Hyde wasn't horrid enough.
To me, Doctor Jekyll wasn't a perfect fellow. He suppressed cynical desires and presented himself as perfection. But one he couldn't keep in was the desire to be free, even at the cost creating a whole new version of himself.
That desire became reality, and I thought that if I was Jekyll, I would slowly become obsessed, even reliant, on the persona of Hyde.
Hyde was the definition of Murphy's Law, yet he was a form of escape to Doctor Jekyll, almost like a temporary cure for a bad migraine. Once you had a taste of it, you will inevitably be enslaved to have it.
To me, having Jekyll kill himself as Hyde took over didn't make the most sense. I enjoyed the story thoroughly, but if that was me, I would have given in to my desires as Hyde and enjoy death by execution, mocking the hypocrites denying me of life.
Take it however you wish. Either way, the story will still lead to death in Hyde's body. I simply had enough leisure time as a kid to allow my imaginations run wild, especially since I loved characters with a twist.
It made me think I could pull it off in this performance as well. Even if it's been years since.
Even if I didn't like acting as much as before, innate talent is innate talent.
My decision to add a change of character made me realize how much I put an effort to the things I do, no matter how important they really were.
In any case, it doesn't matter as long as I enjoy the process.
.
I continued practicing for the song over and over again, until I remembered each nook and cranny. During this time, the news of GNet's new survival show, Make Your Idol, grew a name and common blogs started covering the topic, too.
It was a surprise to see the new show of a company with such bad reputation was being so highly anticipated. But thinking about it, this was the first global group idol survival show I'd seen, so it must be a big deal to most K-Pop fans.
Though trainees couldn't just expose themselves as one of the contestants, they could still talk about it with close knit people. For example, Kim Dojun sent an article about Make Your Idol to me and admitted it himself.
I was also thinking of telling Grandpa Jung, but his mouth was a bit loose when there is a topic he likes.
So yeah, it'd be better to say something a few days before I leave.
By the way, I'll be leaving in two weeks.
There wasn't much to bring. I don't have a closet, and all my clothes have been sitting in my suitcase instead. But since there was no need to bring so many pairs of clothing, I picked out the good ones and stored the rest into a cardboard box.
Most of them were from Berry's thrift store since I previously only had sweatshirts and tank tops. I knew I was going to sweat a lot and decided to bring a few tank tops for easier movement.
Other than that, I just bought a bottle of cologne that didn't smell too cheap and packed some toiletries, too. Of course, this is but a simulation so I could grab everything the day before.
For the whole week, I practiced and binged some more survival shows, studying the characteristics of the 'comedians' of the show.
I decided on a flamboyant and exaggerated character. The role doesn't really fit me, but just like the name, all I need to do is exaggerate my movements and reactions.
Oh, and I decided to learn yoga because of that. The flamboyant people I see on these idol shows all look like the flexible type, for some reason.
And I honestly just wanted to try it out. If it's fun, I would continue practicing it during the show, too.
Since it was late at night, I was already on my mattress, preparing to sleep, but Kim Dojun had messaged me again and I just knew we were going to spend the night on call instead.
- @dddojun: Chan!! Are u busy? Can we voice call pls?
I didn't bother responding, my thumb already reaching for the call button as I read the short message.
It didn't even ring once before a familiar voice came through, deep with a reflection of sleepiness.
"Hey, Chan," Kim Dojun greeted. I could tell he was grinning even now.
"Hello. Did you have something to say?"
"Nah, I just wanted to call. There's still a few weeks, but I'm so excited for the show. Do you think I'll make my debut there, Chan?"
I smiled. I know a thing or two about things behind the scenes, I could say with full confidence that the producers would make Kim Dojun stand out in the show to increase his chances of debuting. Though I think with his already set popularity and talent, that type of boost isn't really necessary.
Still, can't tell him the first half.
"Yeah, I'm sure you can. You should keep practicing your English if you really wanna be in the debut line, though."
Kim Dojun laughed at that.
"It's a bit sad that I won't be able to talk to you, though."
Oh, don't worry about that, buddy. You'll be seeing a lot more of me soon, actually.
"It's just a few months, you'll live through it. Go make some friends there even if you think you won't make it."
"I will. It's lonely to only have you as a friend, since we're both so busy with our own things..."
We talked a little more after that until I got sleepy. I was about to make Kim Dojun hang up, but then I heared a quiet snore come from the other line.
"Hello? Jun?"
I didn't hear the usual "Yeah?"
Kim Dojun must have been really tired to fall asleep so suddenly. I didn't want to interrupt his much needed rest, since I also wanted sleep, and silently ended the call.
"See you soon, Jun."