So hello amigos. special mention to the madlad named God_of_wind_2000, this fucking guy has been sending me 3 powerstones daily consistenly for last 4 months dammit. I haven't even uploaded an damn chapter but this guy just doesnt stop at all, making me feel guilty and all....
Ahem ahem, so I had started an new fic, for relaxing while writing the og novel I was writing, and had a bout of inspiration for this fic so I wrote up a small chapter.
Its nothing much, but its honest work.
___
The sky had become a battleground of divine proportions—thunder, fire, and sheer, unadulterated horny chaos.
Above us, Zapdos descended like a wrathful goddess, her golden feathers crackling with electricity. She spread her wings wide, the very air trembling beneath her majesty.
"ZAAAA-POOOOS!" (Pathetic flame-duster! Your existence insults the sky itself!)
Moltres, lazily circling like a woman who had just been woken up from a very good nap, rolled her glowing ember eyes.
"KREEEEE-SUUU!" (Ugh! Must you shriek like a startled Pidgey every time? I was napping!)*
Zapdos's beak curled into a sneer.
"ZAA-POOO-SUU!" (Napping? While I rule the heavens? Disgraceful!)
Moltres yawned, stretching her wings as flames licked at her feathers.
"KRE-SUUU-KRE!" (Oh, spare me your theatrics. You're just mad because Ho-Oh complimented my plumage last week.)
Zapdos's feathers exploded with sparks.
"ZAAAA-POOO!" (LIES! SHE SAID MY LIGHTNING WAS "MAGNIFICENT"!)
Moltres smirked.
"KREEE-SUUU~" (She also said your voice sounds like a dying Voltorb.)
"ZAAAAAA—!!!"
A thunderbolt obliterated the space between them, and the battle was on.
Meanwhile, in the Horny Bubble
Delia clung to me like a terrified Meowth on a speeding bicycle, her nails digging into my arms.
"WHY ARE WE STILL HERE?! FLY AWAY! FLY AWAY!"
Mewtwo, floating beside us with the grace of a drunk Jigglypuff, giggled.
"But it's so pretty! Like fireworks!"
I groaned. "Yeah, pretty deadly fireworks—MOVE!"
Too late.
Zapdos, mid-taunt, spotted us.
"ZAA-POOO?" (Hmph. Mortals? In MY sky?)
Her eyes narrowed, lightning gathering at her wingtips.
Moltres rolled her eyes.
"KRE-SUUU..." (Ugh. Ignore them, you drama que—)
CRACK-BOOM!
A stray bolt slammed into Mewtwo's barrier, sending us spinning like a drunk Spinda. Delia's scream hit octaves only Rock-type Pokémon could appreciate.
"WE'RE GONNA DIE!"
I grabbed Mewtwo's shoulders. "Alright, change of plans—mark my location, get Delia to safety, and launch me at them. "
Delia's grip turned vice-like. "WHAT?!"
Mewtwo, however, lit up like a Christmas Staryu.
"Ooooh! Like a slingshot?"
"Exactly like a slingshot."
Before Delia could protest, I morphed—not into anything practical, oh no. I became a glistening, aerodynamic, steel-reinforced—
"WHY IS IT A DICK?!" Delia howled.
"IT'S SYMBOLIC!" I lied.
Mewtwo, bless her, didn't hesitate. With a flick of her wrist, I was YEETED through the air like a perverted comet.
Zapdos, mid-snarl, didn't see it coming.
THWACK.
My fully rigid form slammed beak-first into her wide-open mouth.
"Z-ZAAAA—GLURK?!"
Her eyes bulged, feathers standing on end as I expanded, hilting myself down her throat with ruthless efficiency.
Moltres choked on her own flames.
"K-KREE-SUUU?!" (WHAT IN ARCEUS'S HOLY CHALICE—?!)
Zapdos's wings spasmed, electricity flickering erratically as I vibrated.
"Z-ZAAAAHH~! S-STOP! Y-YOU FILTHY—NNNH!—SLIME DEMON!"
Moltres, frozen mid-air, looked like she'd just witnessed a Sacred Fire genocide.
"KREE... SUUU..." (I... I need to sit down.)
I retracted just enough to smirk. "Your turn, hotstuff."
Moltres's flames roared.
"KREE-SUUU!" (OVER MY ASHES, YOU DEGENERATE—)
Too late. I liquefied, slithering around her waist like a possessive Arbok.
"KREEE?! LET GO OF MY—WAIT, NOT THE TAIL FEATHERS!"
Zapdos, still twitching, tried to rally.
"ZAA-PO—" (I'LL MURDER Y—)
FWOOOOSH!
A blizzard hammered her out of the sky.
Enter: The Ice Queen
Articuno descended like an ice-cold aristocrat, her voice dripping disdain.
"AR-TIIII~" (Must you two always turn the sky into a tavern brawl?)
Moltres, now fully entangled in my slime, wheezed.
"KREE!" (HELP ME, YOU FROSTY BITCH!)
Articuno eyed us.
"AR-TIC?" (Are you... enjoying this?)
Moltres's face burned brighter than her flames.
"KRE-SUUU!" (SHUT YOUR FROZEN BEAK—AH! NOT THE WINGPITS!)
Zapdos, half-buried in a snowdrift, groaned.
"ZAA... POO..." (Just... end me...)
Delia, still floating safely in Mewtwo's bubble, had her face in her hands.
"I need alcohol."
Mewtwo clapped.
"Again! Do it again!"
Articuno sighed.
"AR-TI-CU-NO..." (I'm surrounded by idiots.)
And with that, we dipped, leaving the Legendary Birds in a state of humiliated defeat.
Somewhere, Ho-Oh watched.
"...What the actual fuck just happened?"
Epilogue: The Aftermath
As we flew away, Delia still trembling in my arms, Mewtwo suddenly perked up.
"Oh! I forgot something!"
Before I could stop her, she teleported back to the battlefield.
A second later, she returned—holding Zapdos's glowing, slightly damp tail feather.
"Souvenir!"
Delia stared.
"...Why is it wet?"
Mewtwo giggled.
"No reason~"
I sighed.
"We are never speaking of this again."
Delia nodded.
"Agreed."
___
Check out my new fanfic: A Multiversal Mercenary Gig
Dragged from his world by an elite multiversal agency run by cosmic gods and reality-warping overseers, a battle-hardened mercenary finds himself thrust into a strange new job — fulfilling the twisted desires of basement-dwelling, godlike entities obsessed with anime, comics, and pop culture.
These asocial, Lovecraftian horrors aren't interested in devouring worlds anymore — they're too busy fanboying over fictional stories. And now, they want in.Their solution? Outsource their fantasies.
The merc's mission is simple: dive into chaotic multiversal realms, complete bizarre story-driven tasks issued by these eldritch fanboys, and survive long enough to collect the paycheck.